Still ... Blurgh

Soooooo Things are still crap here. The council have stated they wont help us any sooner untill we are actually homeless because there are a total of 28000 people that need homing and aparently we arnt a priority. Something isnt right here. Not only are we not being helped whilst we have being mentally abused but my health needs dont help us for anything. Not only this but because of my vunerability, according to the charty shelter, were meant to be priority but we arnt we just dont get it. On top of this, i woke up this morning dripping wet but freezing and and giess what my temperature was 38.1 and my peak flow is 280 post neb. Gp says ive got another infection so higher dose steroids and more antibiotics And lastly todah for shit news...the lump that started in my mouth under my tongue over the weekend is now about the size of a golf ball and the dental hospital who i was under last december for the lump on my lip for some reason wont give me an appointment Im so worried as ive had 2 tumors in my body now and it looks like this is a 3rd. Im worried that this lump could be the big c...know idea where i go from here if they wont get me an appointment in the dental hospital. On a good note though, i have the CT scan for my hips last night and will get the results on the 22nd I leave u with the yummy picture of my lump.yum.

TTFN XXXX

The Future Is Bright...The Future Is Painful

Ever considered what asrhma could be like...actually, ill better that, ever imagine what an asthma attack could feel like. So say that answer that, putva peg on your nose, put a straw in your mouth and breathe. Take it a step furtherx run up the stairs. You feeling daring, run 1500 meters. I bet you get stuck with trying to walk up the stairs let alone anything else. For me, this is pretty much how I feel on a daily basis. I stryghle to breathe with no break. To be honest, I cant actually remember what it is like to breathe "normally" so to speak. One thing that really winds me up is that many people assume that life with asthma is a few pumps of a blue inhaler and life goes on. Unfortunatly, for many there is more to that than this. For me, life with severe brittle asthma has been life changing, you could never live my life if your not use to it, believe me, its taken me four years as it is and im still not there. In America, they actually make their citizens aware of what its like to have asthma. They teach people so that there are no assumptions. This in tern im sure leads to better control and treatment. I wouldnt know for sure as insurance for me to fly out of this country is £6000. Yes you have read that right. Its this high because of all my medication, because I cant walk very far at all and also because in the last 4 years ive been to intensive care 11 times. Heres a video I found on youtube to show that America really do show you things in true light (*WARNING, IT IS EXTREME SO PLEASE ONLY WATCH IF YOU ARE PREPARED*) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtiATXtIjlk Ok so now that ive had my rant about asthma because im pissed off with the way ive been treated and told that I "just" have asthma etc etc etc...I had to get it out my system as its not "just" asthma its my friggin life, and its ruining it. On the note of ruining my life, im fed up with being in pain and im fed up with this muscle weakness. I literally xant take any more pain releif and well as for my muscles, theres absolutly nothing can be done. Life shouldnt have to be like this. I should be able to live daily being carefree like everyone else. Being able to walk out the door and just worry about whether I have my purse. Keys and phone instead of this and, nebiser machine, spare nebules, epi pens, steroids, antihistamines, crutches, wheelchair, pain releif, and much more. If I wasnt so scared and had the chance to, I would end things right now. Life isnt happy when your living thiis life. Its unreliable. Unpredictable and uninspiring!! I hate it... TTFN XXXX