Deflation

I couldnt blog yesterday after my clinic appointment because I was still trying to get my head around things.

Basically, in short, the tests my respiratory and immunology consultant have ran these past 8 months have shown that I was born with an abnormal immune system. As a result, because it has been undiagnosed for so long ive now got to the point i have no immune system which explains why im getting so many infections and also taking so long for things to heel. Ive got an appointment now on the 9th September with the immunologist because they want me to have atleast a years worth of IvIg infusions which is in theory a home grown immune system put through an IV drip and pumped into my body. Ill be asking whether this can be done at home and that myself and my partner can be taught to do it as these i fusions could possible be 2 weekly and i really dont want to be driving to plymouth each time which is just under an hour away from my home.

My respiratory consultant has also explained that this problem with my immune system is whats causing me to be both anemic and also have a critically low phosphate. He also explained that it is the cause for my oxygen levels to constantly drop at night. Although this is great news to hear, there is also a frustraiting element. He wont treat any of this for the long term as they wouldnt know if the infusions are having an impact. So i have to have atletast another year of intense migraines every morning whicb im a little miffed about.

After such a stressful and brain wrenching appointment followed by more blood needing to be taken, idecided i needed crap food to eat ha. Myself and my partner know of this amazing american food place in plymouth called goodbodys so we went there. We shared a death by chocolate milkshake which was monster size and is roughly 3 pints worth of drink in one. My partner then had an american breakfast and i had twister fries with cheese and also an american pancake with ice cream and nutella. Yum. Definatly hit the spot.

Today has been yet another shit day.

We woke up and i really didnt want to get out of bed as i was hurting and my muscles were weak from driving yesterday so my girlfriend went and made breakfast for us and we had it in bed. Although staying in bed didnt last long as it turns out that when my girlfriend went down stairs her parents staryed on her again and startted slagging me off big time so i needed to get out the house. We ate, got dressed, got dixie ready and just left. I just want to cry. Ive never been made to feel so shit before, and this time it was all over a bike to which my girlfriends dad then chucked at her that she shouldnt be riding a bike anyway as itll do her lady garden no good (shes got really bad problems with allergies there) i of course have no idea why riding a bike would cause a reaction. I decided it was yet another dig at her trying her bloody hardest to try and loose weight and its disgusting.

To top today off, just as we were leaving, i was stood by my car trying to get the wasps off my door as im allergic to them and a woman comes speeding around the corner and nearly knocks me over. As a result i shook my head a sheer shock as its a 30mph zone. This woman suddenly slams on her breaks, gets out the car and staryts screaming in my face waving her fists round my face. I ofcourse wasnt bothered. If she hit me fine, ill get her arrested. Weirdly, and neitther me or my girflriend dont know why but when she was leaving she shouted at me "go and get urself a road"...funnily enough we are still confuzzled by this comment.
Thankfully there was a witness to which at the time we didnt know about but it was our neighbour up the road that saw everything so if she did hit me, atleast i would have been backed up. He was so worried that the woman was going to run me over.

Oh, one last thing, similar to last December when i had a benign tumor grow on my lip, ive now grown something very similar on the underneath of my tongue. The lump is roughly 1.5cm in width and 3cm long and it is thicker than the size of my tongue which u can imagine is a royal pain in the rear. I cant talk or eat properly now. Im desperatly trying to get hold of the maxifacial surgeon that sorted my last lump as i trust him and no how supportive and helpful he is. Will update u more on this situation as soon as i know more

TTFN

XXXX

Not Your Typical Sunday!!

Panic struck last night. After roughly 10 minutes after we turned off the lights to settle to sleep, I started coughing. At first I though, ah its only a cough...and then it continued and each breath I tried taking I was coughing instantly and I couldnt catch my breath, then, my chest went tight. The minute this second stage happen I thought, bollocks, I cant have an attack now, I must get to Dorset this week. So, on goes the lights again, and off with the nebs I go, thankfully, because I jumped on it as quickly as it arrived. A few nebs and I was settled so I was a happy bunny and went to sleep. Today on the other hand, I swear the pollen count is high. My throat is so itchy and scratchy (shoooow...sorry had to add that in) and irritated that its like im swollowing glass, that and a streaming nose and just generally feeling yucky, hay fever style!! I have a funny feeling that yhese new antihistamines arnt liking my body as much and I may have to go back to my old ones. Again this rash on my face that ive been telling you about decided to reappear. We really are confused as to what could be causing it. Its not overly itchy, but its coming up in the exact same places as what it always is and its like a red/orange sort of colour. It really is baffleing us. I guess if it persists ill have to go to the docs about that also...oh they are going to love me!! In chirpier news though, we took the pup around the feild again this morning and she had a good old paddle in the stream. Then we took her to a shop called trago, got her a jumping hoop to practice some agility tricks. We also took her around the pond that is there also. After our trip there, we were off to our friends who live near Looe. We got invited for dinner with them and it was super lush. We nattered masses and she also gave me my birthday present. Yes ok its late, but (and a huge but) im going to let her off as she made it herself, and when you have a 7 month old teething baby, thats going to be a huge challenge. Anyway, it was a knitted slouch hat made in rainbow cours with its main colour yellow which is epic as its my favourite colour. I love it that much its been on my head from the minute she gave it me to the minute ive jumped into bed. Whilst we were with our friend, because the live in the middle of nowgere in the country side, we went for a little gander to the next farm over to have a look at the new baby lambs. I just wish I had my blinking camera. After all this excitment, I decided my car was now disgustingly filfthy, so we went to the car wash. Dixie was petrified and when the turny clothy thing was coming at us, Dixie couldnt have backed up and further into my lap. Atleast we can say shes heard new noises. With all this business going on, when we got home I literally collapsed on the sofa. We found out that my other halfs sister has been really sad today as shes having a lot of problems with her lower back. Recently she got diagnosed with a curviture of the spine and it is leaving her in agony despite being on lots of pain releif. Along with this, because of the pain and the drugs shes currently on, she cant drive to work and she also cant do her job because shes a midwife. I feel mega sorry for her as I know exactly how she feels. Because she lives roughly 200 miles away from us I felt helpless so me and my other half decided to send her a balloon through the post. Its great. Its a tortoise that has little feet that weigh the helium balloon down so in theory it walks when you pull it along with the string. We just hope it makes her smile, even if just for five brief minutes!! We will let you know. Its due to be delivered on Tuesday!! Well thats all for now... TTFN XXXX

3 Years On!!

Im not sure if you remember me telling you about my ass hole of an ex. We ended up splitting up because not only was she beating me up daily but she also made me see that there was no point in life to which lead me to taking a life threatening overdose. Since leaving her, I also left Bristol and went into hiding so that she had no clue of my where abouts...untill this year. Ok granted she does know where I live, but although ive changed my whole name she has managed to hunt me down through facebook, because I ignored her she started texting my mum, because my mum started ignoring her, shes now moved on to facebook messaging my other half. Shes demanding apparent money that I owe her because she gave it me when we were together to purchase a car and now that shes getting married, shes decided she needs funds so easy way to get it is to harrass me and the people I love. I wouldnt mind and I wouldnt be bothered, but shes threatening to take me to court and I think its unfair. She gave me the money, there was no documents signed saying that I would pay it her back and what I dont get is why its taken her three years to suddenly decide she wants money. I told myself that if she was to contact anyone I loved again I will can the police instantly, and ... tonight she did. After an initial talk with the police, I am now meeting with an officer on Thursday all being well and recovered from the flu. Im upset that shes starting again. Why cant she leave me alone. Shes caused enough stress and harm to my life!!?? TTFN XXXX

Wondering, thinking, worrying!!

This week has been the most stressful in a long long time.

It started last week with the doctors and my gp surgery. They decided they didnt want to prescribe my medication to which they decided not to tell me so when i finally got hold of a gp (three days later) my drugs had ran out and i was getting arsy. All would be ok if it wasnt a special ish drug that needs to be ordered into the pharmacy.

After sorting all of the above, i then go off to the doctors to pick up the late prescription and low and behold, another driver decides they want to drive into me. Thankfully i wasnt hurt but i was even more pissed at this point. I get all of her insurance details, name and number and i ring my insurance to start claiming through her. My insurance company ring me back on monday to tell me that, oh the driver isnt insured. Frigging perfect, this could only happen to me hey!!

Also on monday, i had to go back to the dental hospital to have my lump in my mouth rechecked and a date decided for when they want to do a biopsy. There i am sat in the chair and the consultant is making those weird hmm noises when something isnt right. He then goes off to the computer, after a few seconds he cones back to me and asks if i was free three oclock that day. I say that i am and i go back. It seems like they want to get this biopsy done quicker than originally stated. The biopsy itself didbt really hurt at all, he put a numbing gel all over my lip and gum first before jabbing me with a needle to use a local aneasthetic. Half an hour later, three lumps later and four stitches later and my lump has been removed and sent off for testing. The consultabt was a little concered because he expected the 'lump' to be a sac of fluid that would leak out as he sliced it, sadly though it was a solid lump. Once he got the biggest bit out the way, he then found another two lumps starting to grow deaper in my lip and a little lower down. He thinks he got everything but of course he cant promise. I also ended up with four stitches instead of the original two because of how much it had grown since he saw me two weeks ago. All in all the i am glad that the lump has gone. With how my luck has it though, two of those stitches fell out 4 hours later but thankfully there was no bleeding and the two ends have stayed together so ive not bothered going back. I have to go back on the 6th january to get the biopsy results. I really am praying its ok as ive been through this process befor when i had a tumor in my knee when i was 17. Thankfully that was bengin!!

On good notes though, last friday one of my friends had asked if i would take some photos of her 4 month old baby, to which of course i said yes. I took 138 photos and ended up liking 34. (I swear im far to fussy). Amazinly though they have turned out friggin great. So much so i have amazed myself. I sent three sneak previews to my friend on sunday just to show her some results and she cried with joy with how great they are. Im going back over to hers on the 17th to give her the rest just before christmas. Im excited to actually see her face with the results. She has also asked me to take photos next march when its her baby boys naming ceremony. Im really scared about this as i dont no how my lungs or muscles are going to be and ive never done 'professional' photos in this situation so im mega scared.

Well for now, this has been my life. Im off to another hospital apointment tomorrow for my hip and then off to mums for some tea and to exchange christmas presents. Following this im then driving to bristol to see my dad and two friends. We are going to be there untill sunday so its going to be one busy week. Joy!!

TTFN

XXXX