Thinking, Dreaming, Making

Both myself and my partner have been searching and searching for many months for the right place, and we have finally found it.

I then had the issue that I had just needed a new set of blood tests to see if I had certain genetic disorders.

Now that we have finally found the place we feel suites us, we are going to go for it the minute we get the results of my blood test.

Ok that may be another couple of months but that can help me mentally prepare, right!?

The place that we have found is in Wales though so it will take us roughly 3 hours to get there but we currently feel like we fit in with that clinic and that they have helped us massively, yet we havnt even met them yet.

We have decided to also do egg sharing so that we can help someone who is struggling to have a family just like we are.

We are hoping 2014 will be a great year.

I just hope that my sister doesnt get as pissed with me wanting to start a family as much as she did because I got engaged before her. She needs to realise that my health is deteriorating and not only do I want to be able to carry a baby but I also want to be able to give our child as much as I can physically.

My family hasnt been that supportive for me as of yet so I guess I should realise that they may never be all that happy for me.

I just have to be tough

TTFN

XXXX

I Forgot To Mention!!

So ive been thinking again tonight and this time its about my hip.

As you all know I went back to see the third consultant two weeks ago to find out about my hip. Whilst in clinic he said he would do injections under xray guidance to try and treat my condition.

I got my clinic letter yesterday and in it, it explains that these injection wont actually be treating it at all, its being done to try and manage my pain.

Now, my thoughts are, do I bother going through the agonising pain of havibg a huge needle being stabbed into my hip ball and socket joint to have more pain when the drug gets squirted into it, or do I just continue with my paracetamol, codein, tramadol and oramorph!?

Im stuck, he admits in the letter I am going to be very difficult to trwat vecause of my lungs.

I dont know what to do!!

TTFN

XXXX

What To Do!?

Life sure does like to throw you challenges doesnt it!? Well, I seem to think so anyway!!

Last year my best friend asked if I wanted to go to florida with her, great yeah I thought, why not!? And then I thought hmm I need insurance and what a joke that was. As it was far to much I figured I may aswell just start saving money every month for something else as florida really wasnt going to be affordable.

February this yeah my amazing girlfriend had pruposed to me, so the saving naturally went towards that. We have worked out that roughly it will cost £3000 roughly. Bummer, thats going to be a few years down the road then.

So the next scenario was lets start saving for a baby. Being in a same sex relationship, unfairly its going to cost a few thousand pound just to be able to create a famile. Totally unfair right. Yes I thought so also.

Then I thought, can we both be on our childs birth certificate!? So the research began and the outcome is: if we went through a fertility clinic then we dont have to be married and we can both be on the certificate. But if we went for a cheaper option of finding a donor and doing it in the comfort of our own home then no we cant both be on the birth certificate unless we are legally together. So yet another blow.

Now we are deciding, do we go through a clinic and put the wedding off and start our family OR do we get married and then do the cheaper option of starting a family!?

Im really stuck. Sometimes I think that we are both too young to be having children with me being nearly 23 and the other half having just turned 20, but then you look in society and see that half the younger population have started having children.

Our other sticky situation is that we cant afford to live in our own home so we are currently living with the rent in laws. Yes they have a spare room which a few months ago they happily said they would let us have for a baby, BUT pops uses that room on the odd occasion to sleep in when he cant get comfy in his marital room. So I feel bad that ill be taking his only other place away from him.

All these thought are actually stressing me out a little. I also feel alightly pressured as tine is ticking and I kind of want my last nan to be with us when I get married and also start a family.

Time will tell I guess!!

TTFN

XXXX