Still fighting On

Not sure if you can remember from my last blog but a lot has been happening since i have been admitted to the Mental Health unit.

Ive finally managed to drop my twat of a consultant and have one who actually give a flying feck abd has actually got the ball rolling on things

2 weeks ago he started me on a medication callee sertraline. Sadly after 2 doses i had to stop as  it really messaed my heart up. I have though been put on another mesication called matazapien! (Sorry about spelling,dyslexia sucks). At the beginning it was great, really noticed a difference in my sleep pattern in particular but annoyingly its no longer happening. Thankfully ive a ward round tomorrow and i can see what else can be done.

Whilst ive been in hospital, which has been since 30th January, ive felt beywond suicidal and sadly attepted to take my own life. To which i was extremly close o  all 6 occasion.

Thankfully though although i still dont want to live im not actually trying to take my life any more. So i guess theres a slight increase in my mood.

Things r getting tough though and my restraint for not self harming is getting redoculously hard but i have to keep remind myself to stop. Not just for me but because my nephews chrestening on may 10th and i need to b off line od sight before i can go anywhere. I also need to get leave from the ward off the doctor because annoying, through the lack of doctoriness from the previous ass. It was too risky to keep me informal.

I really hope that things will start changing soon.

Sorry its a short update but im starting to feel a little shit just writing this. Fingers cross a few more weeks and ill be reborn.

Hope your all well

TTFN

XXXX

Excitment Ahead

Ok so I cant actually contain it any longer...

Myself and my partner has as of today booked our wedding...we can legally call each other wifey and hersband as of 13th November 2014 at 1330 hours!!

I am so excited!!

I know on the other hand that shit will come of this as we are not inviting any guestes. We are literally having our two best friends as our witnesses and our one best friends little boy as a ring holder. Weve decided to do it this way though because A we actually cant afford a massive do and B partying and standing up infront of a mass load of people not only isnt our thing but it scares the crap out of me.

What we have decided to do though is book a little village hall at some point next year where we can have a gathering of all our family and friends and say new vows to each other. This of course being when we both have enough confidence and money.

The best thing about us getting married this November is that now, any children that we are going to have can legally have both of our names on threir birth certificate where as before they couldnt. So our children will literally and officially be ours.

Ok etxcitment over for now

TTFN

XXXX