Monday 30 December 2013

Stuck!!

This evening both myself and the other halfs mum were in the kitchen having a right old natter when my other half stood in the kitchen doorway in floods of tears.

I was shocked.

I literally didnt know what to do or why she was upset.

When we managed to get the tears under control, she has explain how my asthma attack last week and me ending up in ITU on non invasive ventilation has just hit her.

Shes scared.

She doesnt know how to help me.

She wants me asthma to go away.

I of course gave her a huge cuddle and reminded her that I am still here, it was sadly just another attack.

I wish I could help sort her emotions with regards to this, but the truth is: how can I? I cant even sort my emotions out with regards to my asthma. I guess im semi lucky as I get to speak to somone when Im next in Birmingham, but what services is there for my other half.

Shes never seen ANYONE have an asthma attack, let alone one as sever as mine where you cant actually manage to breathe on your own.

I hate my asthma, it seems as though its now no long destroying my life but also my loved ones, and as I meet new people, its slowly eating away at them causing them to stress and worry.

Wish there was a solution!!

TTFN

XXXX

Saturday 28 December 2013

Really!?

Today I was hoping to attempt a shower as I havnt had one since before going into hospital, yes I know, nasty hey BUT when it takes so much effort I just cant do it because I feel itll send me straight back to hoapital.

Anywho, even if I was to be feeling remotly ok to have a shower it wouldnt work. I woke up this morning feeling okish and then went to brush my teeth...only to have done something to my rib cage and muscles around the back.

I cant lift my arms now twist or turn. I keep getting twinges that literally stop me in my track.

Not only is this a pain in the arse for my movement but it is also a huge pain in the arse for breathing as I cant actually take a deep breath to be able keep my lung function up and shift my infected gunk.

I am hoping to be a little better tomorrow, I want to be able to sort mine and my other halfs room out so we can prepare to start redecorating and making it lush.

I guess we will just have to see what tomorrow brings!!

TTFN

XXXX

Wednesday 25 December 2013

Just About Enough!!

Why is it when you try and have a great week planned, things always go tits up.

On friday I went to the GP because I k ew I had a chest infection coming. All he said was up your steroids and come back if you get worse...yeah thats great if it wasnt christmas week!!

By sundah all went horribly wrong, 1830 came and I couldbt breathe, was back to back nebbing for an hour, sats were dropping and peak flow plummeting. The other half of course got an ambulance.

The three paramedics must have been the shittest in the whole of Cornwall. Why dont I get the nice sensible ones frkm emergency bikers hey!? Anyway, the paramedics left me at home for a following hour wondering what the heck to do rather than listening to me.

Final decision was made to send me to MAU in the Royal Cornwall Hospital (not Plymouth where I told them I wanted to go because my Consultant being there.)

Thankfully with being bluw lighted straight to the ward the doctora were there ready and waiting and pounced on me withing seconds.

In all the time hanging around though, I was now super struggling and my numbers were far from good and the next thing I know ITU are reviewing me and I was being moved up to the unit.

When I was there, I was taken off the oxygen mask and give  a tight fitting mask with a special drug blowing through it going direct into my lungs which was meant to help open then up. Sadly they gave me half an hour on this and my Co2 was still climbing with retention. I then got put onto NIV as I couldnt manage breathing soley on my own...10 minutes later I had the life support being rigged up next to me as they wanted me on it. I wasnt going to let them, I wanted to fight on my own, I didnt like being on the full ventilator last time so it scared me this time around.

Thankfully by lunch time the next day I was starting to hold me own again and breathing had got easier so I came off the NIV.

Remembering it was Christmas in two days I wanted to come home. Some how I had to get the doctors to take down my drips and allow it. Lets just say it wasnt a good situation to be in...but I done an agreement with the ITU consultant that I would go in a wheelchair to the front foors and be picked up straight from there and then when I got home I wouldnt leave my bed. Ok granted I dont have the drips, oxygen and ventilator anymore if I was at home, but I can get an ambulance and they can always assist my breathing if I needed it.

Agreement made, and I was going home despite what was best for me but I really didnt want to spend a second christmas in a row in hospital.

Yesterday, as agreed I stayed in bed all day other than to go to the toilet and boy even that was a struggle.

I have managed to get down stairs for Christmas with the lady and her family today but sadly I didbt enjoy it as much as I liked, I fell asleep in between each bit of activity and I wasnt really with it at all.

We have more family coming around tomorrow and they have all said they want to see me but I really dont think I can nake it downstaits. I dont want to let anyone down though!!

Sadly in all this my lovely girlie has stuck right by me. Didbt leave my bed side from the minute I went to hospital to the minute I left and has been a pure angel looking after me at home. I have told her though if the things she saw with me on the breathing machine etc has scared her she must say, it is normall and she can get councelling help if she needs it. I feel mega bad though for if this has caused her mental scarring, I know what its like and I hate it let alone people whitnessing it!!

Well heres hoping that I can make it downstairs tomorrow and enjoy the rest of Christmas, I have been well and truly spoiled and Ill fill you in on what I got in another blog.

For now, Merdy Christnas all and I hope youve had a great day!!

TTFN

XXXX

Saturday 21 December 2013

I Forgot To Mention!!

So ive been thinking again tonight and this time its about my hip.

As you all know I went back to see the third consultant two weeks ago to find out about my hip. Whilst in clinic he said he would do injections under xray guidance to try and treat my condition.

I got my clinic letter yesterday and in it, it explains that these injection wont actually be treating it at all, its being done to try and manage my pain.

Now, my thoughts are, do I bother going through the agonising pain of havibg a huge needle being stabbed into my hip ball and socket joint to have more pain when the drug gets squirted into it, or do I just continue with my paracetamol, codein, tramadol and oramorph!?

Im stuck, he admits in the letter I am going to be very difficult to trwat vecause of my lungs.

I dont know what to do!!

TTFN

XXXX

My Thoughts For The Day!!

Ive been sat here all day as my lungs have been really rubbish abd my new GP seems to be the worlds biggest waste of space and basically told me if I get worse go to the hospital, dont think he realises I would like to be home this christmas...

So with being sat here, my mind has been giving me every worrying thought possible again (yes of course this has been increase by my yet another increase of steroids). My thoughts at the moment are going back to the lump I had in my mouth and my recent biopsy. I get my results on the 6th January so yes I dont havt long to wait, but its still long enough to have everything do through your head.

I keep thinking the worse. Do I have cancer!? What treatment will I need!? Was it just a random growth that wont need any treatment at all!? These are just the three main things im thinking of.

I just wish the 6th January could come around quicker. Would do me the world of good!!

TTFN

XXXX

Wednesday 18 December 2013

Life's Little Adventures!!

Last Wednesday I was at another hospital appointment but this one was for my hip. The consultant was actually really nice compared to the last, spoke to me properly and at eye level, he also spoke to me and not at me and he was very nice with how he asked things to get a good old history. He then helped me onto the bed to do his funky little movements with my legs (I have just realised how bad that sounds) and then he helped me up and back to the chair. All in all he has said because of my lungs and how I react with GA he has said he wants to try injections right inside of my hip socket under xray guidance. Im also not allowed sedation for that because of my lungs. If this doesnt work and sort things out (as aparently I have a tear in my cartilage) then they may have to consider surgery. Because of my steroids myopathy he has said its caused an extra weakness around my hips and each time I fall it weakens it that bit more so all in all its all going down hill.

We then went and seen my mum and her boyfriend and had pur christmas with her. Suprisingly it wasnt to bad, she spoke to my other half like a human and included her in conversations etc. She also suggested we play a game of scrabble which turned out to be a laugh and was also really good so I was pretty impressed.

Following my mums we then had to travel up to Bristol to do christmas at my dads. We finally got there at about 9pm and pretty much went straight to bed. On the Thursday we went up to the cemetry to put flowers on both my nan and grandads headstones, I really wish that more of the family would go there and not just me, I havr managed to go there atleast 4 times this year if not more and thats with living over 200 miles away from them we also went to visit my other halfs sister for a few hours which was a nice little catch up.

Friday was nice and relaxed, we went to a place called snuff miles and took some photos for another competition that I am entering. There is a lush little tea shack at the end of it and we both had a scrummy hot choc with our mahusive prawn and mayo baguette to which was amazing.

Saturday was the most hectic day I could imagine. We went running around trying to find a cheesy christmas jumper to which was an epic fail. After that we then had to run around to my friends to give her her christmas presents and have a munch on mince pies and cream. Yummy!! Half an hour later my dad was ringing me saying we had to hurry up as they were at a pub about to have a meal and they had saved us seats. I was not impressed at all!!

Sunday wasnt a bad day, we continued our hunt for a christmas jumper and then went to meet up with another friend of mine. We took her off to a nice little resturaunt called the masons arms and we had an amazing carvery and ice cream. Scrummy. We then had to dash back to my dads to head back to cornwall via my sisters to exchange presents with her so boy hasnt it been a bloody busy week.

On exciting news though, my sister rang me to tell me shes pregnant and we think shes due in June. She has her first midwife appointment on the 3rd January so we will no a bit more by then. Really pleased for her, I just hope I get to see the baby often so they actually know who I am.

Since being back in Cornwall, I have had the occupational team come out and see me and have said I need more equipment at home to help me and that I also need a wheel chair. Today I had a lady ring me to see if I would qualify for a wheelchair and aparently following the information I gave them aparently yes I will be getting one from the NHS. I just have to have someone come out and measure me up and get the chair specific to me. I also had another lady ring me this morning who wants to come out tomorrow to do a stair assessment with me.

I have to say, although all this help and equipment is there to help me, actually coming to terms with the fact im getting a lot worse is a little hard to register in my head.

I also still have part of my lip that is still numb following my biopsy which im not really liking. I hope it comes back soon!!

My other halfs brother had a baby soon today also so theres more good news to celebrate for this time of the year. Yay!!

Well sorry thats such a huge post but itll keep you busy.

TTFN

XXXX

Tuesday 10 December 2013

Wondering, thinking, worrying!!

This week has been the most stressful in a long long time.

It started last week with the doctors and my gp surgery. They decided they didnt want to prescribe my medication to which they decided not to tell me so when i finally got hold of a gp (three days later) my drugs had ran out and i was getting arsy. All would be ok if it wasnt a special ish drug that needs to be ordered into the pharmacy.

After sorting all of the above, i then go off to the doctors to pick up the late prescription and low and behold, another driver decides they want to drive into me. Thankfully i wasnt hurt but i was even more pissed at this point. I get all of her insurance details, name and number and i ring my insurance to start claiming through her. My insurance company ring me back on monday to tell me that, oh the driver isnt insured. Frigging perfect, this could only happen to me hey!!

Also on monday, i had to go back to the dental hospital to have my lump in my mouth rechecked and a date decided for when they want to do a biopsy. There i am sat in the chair and the consultant is making those weird hmm noises when something isnt right. He then goes off to the computer, after a few seconds he cones back to me and asks if i was free three oclock that day. I say that i am and i go back. It seems like they want to get this biopsy done quicker than originally stated. The biopsy itself didbt really hurt at all, he put a numbing gel all over my lip and gum first before jabbing me with a needle to use a local aneasthetic. Half an hour later, three lumps later and four stitches later and my lump has been removed and sent off for testing. The consultabt was a little concered because he expected the 'lump' to be a sac of fluid that would leak out as he sliced it, sadly though it was a solid lump. Once he got the biggest bit out the way, he then found another two lumps starting to grow deaper in my lip and a little lower down. He thinks he got everything but of course he cant promise. I also ended up with four stitches instead of the original two because of how much it had grown since he saw me two weeks ago. All in all the i am glad that the lump has gone. With how my luck has it though, two of those stitches fell out 4 hours later but thankfully there was no bleeding and the two ends have stayed together so ive not bothered going back. I have to go back on the 6th january to get the biopsy results. I really am praying its ok as ive been through this process befor when i had a tumor in my knee when i was 17. Thankfully that was bengin!!

On good notes though, last friday one of my friends had asked if i would take some photos of her 4 month old baby, to which of course i said yes. I took 138 photos and ended up liking 34. (I swear im far to fussy). Amazinly though they have turned out friggin great. So much so i have amazed myself. I sent three sneak previews to my friend on sunday just to show her some results and she cried with joy with how great they are. Im going back over to hers on the 17th to give her the rest just before christmas. Im excited to actually see her face with the results. She has also asked me to take photos next march when its her baby boys naming ceremony. Im really scared about this as i dont no how my lungs or muscles are going to be and ive never done 'professional' photos in this situation so im mega scared.

Well for now, this has been my life. Im off to another hospital apointment tomorrow for my hip and then off to mums for some tea and to exchange christmas presents. Following this im then driving to bristol to see my dad and two friends. We are going to be there untill sunday so its going to be one busy week. Joy!!

TTFN

XXXX

Tuesday 3 December 2013

What To Do!?

Life sure does like to throw you challenges doesnt it!? Well, I seem to think so anyway!!

Last year my best friend asked if I wanted to go to florida with her, great yeah I thought, why not!? And then I thought hmm I need insurance and what a joke that was. As it was far to much I figured I may aswell just start saving money every month for something else as florida really wasnt going to be affordable.

February this yeah my amazing girlfriend had pruposed to me, so the saving naturally went towards that. We have worked out that roughly it will cost £3000 roughly. Bummer, thats going to be a few years down the road then.

So the next scenario was lets start saving for a baby. Being in a same sex relationship, unfairly its going to cost a few thousand pound just to be able to create a famile. Totally unfair right. Yes I thought so also.

Then I thought, can we both be on our childs birth certificate!? So the research began and the outcome is: if we went through a fertility clinic then we dont have to be married and we can both be on the certificate. But if we went for a cheaper option of finding a donor and doing it in the comfort of our own home then no we cant both be on the birth certificate unless we are legally together. So yet another blow.

Now we are deciding, do we go through a clinic and put the wedding off and start our family OR do we get married and then do the cheaper option of starting a family!?

Im really stuck. Sometimes I think that we are both too young to be having children with me being nearly 23 and the other half having just turned 20, but then you look in society and see that half the younger population have started having children.

Our other sticky situation is that we cant afford to live in our own home so we are currently living with the rent in laws. Yes they have a spare room which a few months ago they happily said they would let us have for a baby, BUT pops uses that room on the odd occasion to sleep in when he cant get comfy in his marital room. So I feel bad that ill be taking his only other place away from him.

All these thought are actually stressing me out a little. I also feel alightly pressured as tine is ticking and I kind of want my last nan to be with us when I get married and also start a family.

Time will tell I guess!!

TTFN

XXXX

Thursday 28 November 2013

Here, There and Everywhere!!

Life has been a little hectic over the past few weeks with having different hospital appointments and travelling up and down the country. Hospital appointments have consisted of going to Plymouth hospital to have over an hours worth of lung function tests so that they can get a good idea of how my lungs dont work, and then I am seeing the new Consultant in January at some point so that should be interesting. I have also have a fracture clinic appointment following my fall a few weeks ago and breaking my wrist. The consultant there isnt to happy with my xray results so has requested that I have a CT scan which is in just over a weeks time. so thats slightly annoying that this has happened. I have also had my second appointment with the other hip doctor who was a little bit annoying actually as he didnt really have a clue and is referring me to yet another doctor and has suggested that I have the steroid injections again in my hip (which didnt work the first time) and then if that doesnt work they will then look at what else can be done before the route of a hip replacement. I have also been back up to see mum recently as it was her birthday and well, it was slightly awkward to say the least and I came away a little upset. firstly, she opened the present that we gave her whilst I was in the toilet and then just put it on the side and didnt even say thanks, where as with my sisters she opened it all whilst everyone was there and said a massive thank you. secondly, she didnt even really speak to my other half which is really starting to hack me off as it has been well over a year now and she still cant seem to come to terms with things and accept who I am engaged to. Thirdly, I have found out that my sister has been going around mums and having little drinking sessions with her and that they have been going out shopping and generally having a good time, Im gutted with this as me and mum never really done anything like this and now that I have moved away she seems to be getting on really well with my sister. And finally, my mum in front of everyone asked my sister if she wanted to come around for christmas day and completely ignored me, so as a result I have decided that Im not going to see any of my family at christmas because I dont feel like they want me to see them, I no longer feel accepted by them and that they want me to be in their lives let alone my partner as well. On happy notes, myself and my partner have officially been together for just over a year now and it is exciting. We decided to treat ourselves, and spend two nights away in Newquay. Whilst away we went to the cinema and seen Gravity which is a pretty amazing film, we also went to the seal sanctuary which although was cold, was really amazing to see all the different seals and also the poorly ones in the hospital who are being really well looked after. We also went and had a MASSIVE chinese which was lush, but we ate far to much. My other half also introduced me to the hunger games which is a great film, very well put together!! so we had a busy couple of days, just us enjoying each others company. My other half also had her 20th birthday which was great. She was ultimatly spoiled by both her parents and myself with lots of different gifts to keep her busy some of which included pyrography (which shes done one already and it looks amazing, ive never seen it before and I really like how its turned out!!) and she also got an air brushing machine to be able to decorate her cakes with. We also went out for a meal, both of us and her parents which was great as weve never actually done that before so it was a nice treat for us all. On sad news though, Ive had yet another assessment with the community physio team and they have now decided that Im going to have to have a wheelchair when out in the community as my muscles have gotten far to weak and im having to many falls which is compromising my safety. I am a little gutted by this but I guess it had to come at some point hey. My photography is coming along great, I recently entered a photo into a competition and im awaiting the results so ill let you all know when that happens. These photos were taken with the help of my lovely lady dressing up in a stunning dress and having some nice make up on. One of our friends have also asked me to take photos of her and her baby in a few weeks time also so although im a little nervous about it, im also excited as itll be my first official shoot with people and not of still life. So, thats my life for now. TTFN XXXX

Monday 28 October 2013

The Here And The Now!!

Recently things have been a little scatty and Im not all that sure what to make of it. I keep going through phases where I am really down but trying really hard not to tell the other half as I dont want to worry her, but sadly instead I seem to be snapping at here and getting frustrated at the little things that I used to fine with. I tried telling her that these little things have started to annoy me but she seemed to have laughed it off as if I was joking so now im not all that sure about what to do. Im hoping that its just because Ive had a pretty rough few weeks with my lungs and its just washing me out. Who knows!! With regards to my lungs, I went to the doctors last week because I have started really struggling asthma and infection wise. I have been put onto some basic antibiotics for now to see if it would help but sadly it hasnt done a huge amount. My peak flow is still super lower and my oxygen levels keep dipping to around 92%. Sophie wants me to go to hospital but I really dont think I need to go yet. I am off to the doctors again later today but I dont actually think there is a lot more they can do, but I guess ive ssen someone and thats all I can do. Financially things have been a little tough for both sophie and I which has really got us worried. we have had our money drop by just under £200 a month which has meant that we have a very small amount of money each month to help us get by. Were really not sure what we are going to do. We have now applied for careers for sophie as we have calculated that she spends around 40 hours or more a week looking after me, and she does a brilliant job at it and I wouldnt be able to survive without her help. I am also having appointments with the doctors because it has come to the stage were I feel I need a little more support mobility wise. I am falling over a lot more, my legs are giving way on me and I cant physically keep hold of my crutches because my muscles keep giving way. Ive not had a verdict as of yet but im sure I will let you know. On a positive note, I have lost 2 stone in weight since I have had my surgery so I am super happy, ok yes it has been because I cant physically eat all that much, but Im still surviving, so Im clearly getting enough food going into my body. Im also moving onto more solid foods which im also super happy with as I have missed eating "normal" food. Sophie and I are also still wedding planning, it was come up to around £3009 altogether to pay for the whole wedding so we now need to start saving and buying things slowly to achieve the best day of our lives. We have also attended our first wedding fair, sadly it was rather erm CRAP so we wont be attending one there again, but it gave us a good insight into what we could do and what is on the market at the moment. Well I think I have rambled enough now so I will leave you to it!! TTFN XXXX

Thursday 3 October 2013

Life Recent Events

Thankfully life is doing fantastically at my other halfs in Cornwall and her family are fantastic, they are so supportive and just want to help me with everything. Im not used to all this care and help.

Ive had an appointment at my old local hospital and shes pleased with how things are going, and she said she will contact Plymouth hospital to see if they will take on my care as she knows the consultant there and aparently he manages difficult asthma also. Though this doesnt mean that Im going to stop going to Birmingham as they have been amazing.

Talking of Birmingham, I have also been to see them. Physio saw me first and done a few tests on me and confirmed that I dont have dyafunctional breathing nor do I have hyperventilation syndrome so I am absolutly over the moon with that. She also taught me a few more gunk moving chest physio moves which is super helpful. She also said that if this doesnt work by the time she rings me in a few weeks, she will see about getting me a device to help increase my lung function and shift a bit more gunk!!

Dr M is please that I have managed to stay on 10mg of pred, though when I asked if I could reduce it more or come off it altogether he said no, so thats a bit of a downer. He also says that im not allowed to reduce any of my other maintenance meds either. I guess the only good way of looking at this positivly is that I dont need any more meds currently. He wants to see me again in 3 months time to keep a close eye on me.

So life has been full of hospital appointments and driving up and down the country.

Im still waiting for an "urgent" mri scan at the request of my hip consultant to see how advanced my avascular necrosis is...who knows how long thatll be!!

Im travelling back to Cornwall tomorrow as I have an appointment at my new GP surgery to fill them in about me.

I am so shatterdd though, I tried driving today after going to Birmingham today and my legs just didnt want to work, theu were shaking all over the place, I really do hate the way things have ended up!!

Well thats my bit of excitement for the last week!!

TTFN

XXXX

Thursday 12 September 2013

Could Any More Shit Possibly Happen!?

A day out of hospital and there I was casually relaxing on the sofa trying to recover. Untill my mum comes home.

She didnt ask me how I was or what I had been up to just "did you still have money to give me as Im short"

Lets go back a few steps and Ill fill you in. My mum moved her new boyfirend in a little over two weeks ago, so I told mum I was giving her less money as I should be payong thirds as thats fair. Her response to me for that was you can fuck off. Charming hey. Little did she know I was being deadly serious.

So reverting back to yesterday, I responded to mum about me being serious about not giving her as much money and that of her new boyfriend is giving her money also there was no need.

This kicked off a massive argument of her calling me a selfish cow, an ungreatful bitch and a few more nastiness. She also told me I should be paying her more for her having to run me up and down the country to my hospital appointments. I reminded her that mentally im not coping with yet another diagnosis (to which she said oh ok to) and also about my friend Dawn passing away-her answer to this was we all have friends that die. This argument went on for about 45 minutes to which I was crying my eyes out and devestated my mum gave more of a shit about me not paying her an extra £150 over my physical and mental well being. At the end of this argument mum told me to get the fuck out of the house.

Little did she know I would actually go also!!

5 minutes later her boyfriend come back and they went for a walk with the dog.

In that time I had pack all my medications and a few bits of clothes, grabbed my rabbits in their hutches (bearing in mind I shouldnt be lifting after my surgery) and I filled the car with as much as possible. I rang my girlfriend in a right state with what just happened and because her family are so bloody amazing they have allowed me to move in with them.

This is going to be a struggle hospital wise as itll take 5 hours to get to my birmingham appointments and im going to have to try and find a decent hospital now in cornwall.

I cant believe that not only have I got to deal with a rapidly deteriorating shit health but I now have to try and move all my stuff out. So much from recovering from surgery with major complications. Im just glad that I now have a lovely relaxed new home with great support and care so I can atleast try and recover a little bit.

Well thats it for the dramatic life of me!!

TTFN

XXXX

Wednesday 11 September 2013

The Return

Finally 10 days later and I have come home from hospital.

Before I left, I had my tummy holes re steri stripped back up as there are still massive holes compared to wat they should be.

I also got told that they think the operation may not have worked. The reason theu think this is because I still cant keep food and drinking down properly. I am a little dissapointed with this but I guess what can I do!?

Before I left I also told the asthma team that I really not coping mentally, with the reason tragedy of Dawn who was such a fantastic friend to me along with all my itu admissions, poor hospital treatment and all the new diagosis its just all getting on top of me and I just want to end everything. So if figured maybe its about time I got things sorted.

Today I had my gp ring me with the results of my xray that I had before my operation and suprise suprise I have yet another bomb shell. I have a deteriorated femoral head which basically in simple terms, I have avascular necrosis. Which has added to my depression and hit me hard

I havnt told mum how Im feeling as we dont seem to be as close anymore. She seems so much more interested in her new boyfriend than me so I guess its another thing im going to have to keep on my shoulders!!

Well thats enough sadness for one hour.

TTFN

XXXX

Sunday 8 September 2013

My Recent Adventures

8 days ago I got admitted to heartlands in preperation for my operation which was on Tuesday.

I went down at 1230 and got told I would be 45 minutes. 3 hours later the finally take me off the ventilator. The reasons for this was because my lungs had a massive disagreement dropped their sats and started to struggle. So as you can tell I worried a lot of people.

I finally got back to the ward at 6pm or there after and wasnt really with it at all.

The pain was so bad I really didnt know what to do with myself. It doesnt help that I couldnt have local in my tummy because Im allergic to it.

The next day was still pretty much the same, still loads of pain, unable to breath properly or cough so they upped all my pain releif in the hope it would sort things.

Thursday was going good. Pain was starting to get sorted and I started to be able to cough again but sadly I had developed a chest infection so had to stay yet another night and be started on antibiotics.

Around 5pm on Thursday, everything I was drinking I was bring back up. Which wasnt good as aparently this operation is supposed to stop me from being able to vommit. So they done an urgent xray to find out what was going on...I had a bowel obsturction - twist in my bowel so I was put nil by mouth and given fluids. To top things off my pain releif was reduced as they needed to wake my bowel up as it had gone to sleep.

So not only have I got operation pain but also have my agonising hip pain back.

The weekend has been pretty uneventful other than me being depressed and thinking about everything and also being in far to much pain.

I am hoping to leave tomorrow but currently I am still vomiting everything I try to eat/drink which isnt right.

My consultant in Birmingham has also requested and MRI scan of my hip to find out what is going on as they think its highly likely to be linked to my steroids. Perfect!!

Well thats my ramble for now.

TTFN

XXXX

Wednesday 4 September 2013

All Done

Well yesterday at 1230 lunchtime I had the call to go down to theatre to have my fundoplication.

We got told that the op would take 45 mins and that I may need to go to HDU afterwards.

3 hours later and everyone worrying sick, I finally came out of theatre, the oporation went smoothly and they found a heria so fixed that whilst they were in there.

Sadly my lungs couldnt cope 100% and my oxygen levels dropped so they kept me on the ventilator for a little bit longer to help my lungs. Once they picked up I went to recovery and I slowly improved.

I was allowed to get back to the ward at around 1830 so altogether I was out for 6 hours. A lot longer than I was told.

I have 5 holes and a swollen tummy but thats the least of my worries.

Currently im still on oxygen as my oxygen levels keep dipping off it but thatll soon get better.

Im not allowed any food at all for ayleast 2 days so it is pure liquid for me which to be honest isnt bothering me much as even swolling my tablets is hard.

Im hoping to either go hone later tonight or tomorrow depends on how the respiratory team are with me

All is well for now and ill keep you posted.

TTFN

XXXX

Sunday 1 September 2013

Struggling

With another admission luming to hospital I cant help but keep getting flash backs from my last admission and previous admissions.

Ok this time there is a difference as its not an emergency and its not an asthma attack. Im going in for surgery.

Im struggling to sleep again because it seems that everytime I close my eyes im reliving the terrible times ive had and its scaring the poop out of me.

I dont know what to do, the relationship with my mum has changed because she has a new man in her life so I dont feel I can talk to her and my other half is back in her home town so I dont want to worry her when there is over 100 miles between us.

Shall I mention things to one of my link nurses when in Birmingham to see whether they can help at all or do anything or am I just being daft.

Whats also not helping is being on this silly diet and only getting about 1000 calories a day. I have no energy and just feel drained. Surely this also inst good for surgery.

Well theres my worries for now!!

Ill keep you posted for how I get on

TTFN

XXXX

The Call

Yesterday I had the call from Birmingham telling us there was a bed free on the respiratory ward.

Five hours later and we arrive. The traffic was hell, from post holiday drivers to accidents to road works to pure phantom traffic.

Mums new boyfriend came with us, and although I was pissed off at first for mum not asking me and also telling me that my girlfriend couldnt come coz the hospital wouldnt allow it, he was great, made me chuckle and really relaxed the whole situation. I have to admit its great that he is being so involved and supportive and helpful, the complete opposite to what mum old partner was like.

The doc came and said that basically all they are doing is increasing my steroids and giving me oxygen if I need it.

Have to admit im a little narcked off that ive been admitted 4 days pre op just to up my steroids.

They still insistes on cannulating me and it took 6 attempt. I was meant to be having a picc line but the doc said that wouldnt happen over the weekend.

Altogether I think its pretty shabby how the whole situation has gone, but I am bow here so I have to sit and wait.

I am on day 13 of my liquid diet and weirdly Ive lost no weight at all this week, really bizarre considering im only having 1000 calories if that a day.

Well I should stop ranting now but ill keep you all updated.

TTFN

XXXX

Ps the pictures are of my lovely photo frame that I have of my and my girlfriend and hanging off it is the special healing stones she purchased me as a gift. Also of my new spongebob pjs and my injuries already.




Monday 26 August 2013

One Down One To Go

Its been one week already of me being on a complete liquid diet. Three shakes a day and a bit of yoghurt. In week on I have lost 9lb in weight. Dont get me wrong I am over the moon with having lost so much weight but I an so hungry and craving just a small amoubt of food.

Last week it was really easy as I was at the other halfs house and she has been doing it with me to give me some support (though ive made her have a meal in the evening) but now that Im back home it just seems to be harder. It hasnt helped that mum has baked my fave cake, has my fave biscuits in the house and has also just purhased chocolate. You would think with her being my mum she would be a little more supportive.

I guess im just going to have to push on for that bit longer as itll effect my surgery.otherwise.

My surgery is due to happen next tuesday so not long now and fingers crossed my life could change drastically.

On another note Im super pissed off as mum has just told me her new fella (of just ONE) month is moving in. The reason this pisses me off is because she point blank refused my other half from moving in as aparently there isnt room for three. I then said to her fine ill be paying you less money then as there is three people here and she told me no I will be paying her the same amount. Ever feel that she wants me here just for money!?

TTFN

XXXX

Tuesday 20 August 2013

The Start!!

As of yesterday I have two weeks and one day untill my surgery. I have to admit I am officially now starting to shit myself.

Yes ok mum is going to be there, (only just with persuation might I add) but the last time I had an operatio where they knocked me out I stopped breathing. That was before my asthma was as bad as what is is now. So yes, I can officially say im SCARED!!

Worst of all, ive told the girlfriend that she can be with me before the surgery (so now) and the time post the surgery. She really wants to go up the day im having the operation but ive refused to let her. Purely for the fact that the hospital isnt in the safest of areas and im worried about her being on her own at certain times of the day. I kind of wish she was here for the day of the surgery!!

The other bad thing about this surgery is, I cant eat food for two weeks before the operstion and for a fair few amount of weeks after. My surgeon has told me I need to have three liquid slimfasts a day and a bit of yoghurt inbetween them. I am sick of them already and yesterday was my first day.

I dont know how im going to survive.

IM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW

TTFN

XXXXX

Sunday 18 August 2013

Perfection

Wednesday came back around and I picked up my lovely lady from the train station again.

Perfection!!

We havnt done a great deal other than bargain dvd shop, take the pup for a walk, dvd watch and erm well thats about it really.

I have to say its the simplest of things in life that literally are just perfection!!

I wouldnt know what I would do with out my other half now, life just seems like she was always there. Like she always existed in my life even though it has only been 9 months.

Tomorrow I have to start my liquid only diet in preperation for my surgery in two weeks time.

Im not looking forward to all this liquid or the surgery.

I hope with all my power this surgery makes my asthma settle down and that I will be able to get off some tablets. Also so that I can stop being a frequent flyer at our local hospital!!

TTFN

XXXX

Thursday 8 August 2013

When It Comes To An End

Since my last admission from Bristol hospital I have had my lovely lady staying with me and helping me out. We have been through so much it has been a little hectic. We have stayed for a little while at my mums whilst I recovered initially, then we had to dash back to Cornwall as the other half had an appointment. As you know I had to come back to my mums as she fell poorly, but of course I braught the other half back with me again. all of these times we were chilling and movie watching waiting for my body to pick back up again. which seems to be taking a while. During the last 1 or 2 weeks we have been to a charity fun day where I did my first stint of being a photographer. I have to say it was a little scary but I loved it and cant wait to get stuck in doing more challenges like it. A day later we then drove to bristol where we stayed at my dads for a little while. On the Monday we went to Bristol Zoo as the other half has never been there and I havent been there in so many years that it all changed. Her face was amazing throughout it all, she had seen so many new animals that she hasnt seen before that it make me feel great knowing that she has done something new. Tuesday came round and we had to drive to Birmingham as I had an appointment. This appointment sucked a little though as I got told that my body has become allergic to itself which is why I am having so many allergic reaction. End result being, I have to take another drug, and the other half got taught how to use and Epi pen just incase I couldnt manage to do it myslef. Wednesday arrived and we went and met up with some of my firends and their new little baby. My beautiful lady loved meeting them and has said they are definatly coming to the wedding *Result* c: A day of Gromit hunting on the Thursday. Something both myself and the other half has never done before, we were both knackered by the end of the day but managed to fine 30 out of the 80 Gromits, have a picnic at Cabot tower and generally have a lush time exploring Bristol together. Ever been to Brighton...well we drove their with two of our other friends and we landed in the worst hotel imaginable, we had to park 10 mins away in a shopping centre car park which we didnt have any money back on. We were on the fourth floor and the beds where like sleeping on newspaper. ok this was crap, but I was with my lady and that was AMAZING!! Brighton pride took place on the Saturday which was the reason why we went to Brighton in the first place. We had a great day, the weater was nice to us and we got to see Lucy Spraggon performing live...absolutly epic she was!! Sadly though I had an allergic reation so had to go to the medical tent to get checked over. Only two antihistamines were needed though thankfully. Sunday...the dread day of them all. I ended up driving 14 hours from Brighton to Cornwall, to Bristol and then back to Bridgwater. It massively killed me to the point I was vomitting non stop from a massive migrane. Ended up having to go to my local hospital to get IM anti sickness just so I could keep all my asthma treatment medicine down. So all in all a massively hectic week. I am now back home on my own...untill tomorrow when my lovely lady is catching the train back to me as we are going to pay a visting to Bristol International Balloon Fiesta as she has never been before. lets hope the weather stays nice for us...else we will be going in the rain!! Well makes a change having a nice blog for once hey!! TTFN XXXX

Thursday 25 July 2013

I Just Dont Get It!!

As you all know I have had my lovely other half with me now for a few weeks and last week it was time for me to spend some time down at her home with her family.

Last Wednesday we were out in town when I had a voicemail from my nan blaiming me for the fact my mum had been rushed to hospital having chest pain and that I had to get back from Cornwall and go and sort her out.

I rang my sister to find out what was going on as I hadnt heard anything other than this voicemail to be called a self bitch for ignoring mums texts and not caring for anyone else other than myself.

It turns out that mum had sent these text to my email accoubt which I obviously wouldnt have got in the middle of town.

This all obviously upset me as I was being blamed for something I hadnt caused. And what if I didnt live with mum. What if I did actually live with the other half in Cornwall. Would it still have been my fault and would I still have been called a selfish bitch!?

I was willing to let all this past as I cant deal with the stress, but for the last week my sister wont speak to my and neither will my nan, to the point that no one is ringing the house phone just to avoid contact. My mum has also been very secretive and going upstairs and shutting doors when on the phone so I cant hear what shes saying and also has only spoke to me when she wants something.

Not exactly fair right!?

I dont know what to do, am I really a self bitch!? Did I really cause this chest pain?! Am I ever going to be able to move out and not get called every name under the sun.

All I want is an apology from my nan and sister for blaming me for ignoring mum and causing her chest pain when one its mums fault I didnt get and text and 2 I cant physically cause chest pain from 100 miles away and having not spoke to her.

Its driving me mental. Do they not realise what this is doing to me!?

TTFN

XXXX

Friday 19 July 2013

About Time It Got Better Dont You Think!?

For me it is more gutting news. Ok so I slightly already new it in the back of my mind or maybe thought it could be that but now it is official. The doctors have diagnosed me and are treating me...I have Steroid Myopathy and I hate the fact it is now reality. For those of you who dont know, Steroid Myopathy is a muscle wasting disease caused by steroids. I have to try everything in my power to keep what little muscle strength I have else i will be wheel chair bound. I am considering a wheel chair now but still debating it as my legs technically still work and im sure if I were to use a wheel chair perminatly what muscle I currently have will be gone for good, and thats the last thing I want. I also have to start a new drug which is similar to steroids but it has no side effects like the steroids. Sadly though this doesnt mean that I never need to take steroids again, every asthma flare up I have, I have to have a big dose again yo get me through. Perfect.

Also as mentiobed before I have been having problems with my hip, well today I had an injection in it in the hope itll sort it out. I have to give it 2 weeks to see if it has made a difference. If not I am being refered to orthopeadics.

Is life ever going to get better, or am I going to have to suffer more and more with these shitty side effects.

I guess on a positive note, I can officially marry my amazing girlfriend who has been my rock these last few weeks. Love you so much!!

TTFN

XXXX

Tuesday 9 July 2013

Sleepy Issues

For those of you who have read my most recent blog you would know that I had a recent admission to ITU with my asthma where I ended up on a special breathing machine but also keeping me awake. This was because I refused full ventilation.

Well, since then (like previous times) I have been having real bad issues with sleeping. Every time I close my eyes it takes me back to that very moment and Im worrying myself with what ifs!? Truth be known Im scared of death and Im scared that one day my asthma will be what kills me and at the wrong time.

All of this is worrying me and Im finding it hard to talk about. My girlfriend asked me last night what was on my mind and what was it that was keeping me awake and I was to scared to tell her. So I said nothing was up. I hate not telling her. I just feel that we cant relate in this department as shes never had to experience it. In the mean time though not only am I getting rubbish nights sleep like normal but I now have this added extra.

Im stuck.

Im lost.

Im confused.

I dont know what to do for the best.

Help!!

TTFN

XXXX

Friday 5 July 2013

Another Scary Moment!!

So I thought I would enjoy my life. Visited my dad for my tea on the Friday and then spent the weekend with the most amazing best friend ever!! We managed a carboot sale that we raised £80 for Brighton Pride at the end of the month so that was ace and on sunday I left and met up with some more amazing friends. By Sunday night, I had just got onto the motorway and I suddenly couldnt breath so raced back to Bristol and got my self into hospital. Sadly I ended up in intensive care on a non invasive ventilator with heliox being pumped into me. They told me that the best option was to b ventilated but I refused it as it is the most horrible thing imaginable.I have to say I am now ultimatly scared about going out and about on my own again. 6 days in ITU and HDU and i was finally allowed onto the respiratory ward. During the week I had some amazing visitors and company to keep my spirits up and the lovely better half had decided to come up on the train and visit me whilst in hospital. Whilst on the resp ward I had lots of input from physios who have told my I really need to slow down as my muscles can take it and neither can my lungs. My oxygen levels r dropping into the 80s when walking fast now so here is the new life of a snail. I have to say I am massively frustraited with how things r turning out. I just want me life back, I want to go exploring not be this frail young person struggling to live a little bit of a life!! On a positive note my link nurse from Birmingham rang me when I got out of hospital to check in on me and also to tell me that they are in the process of writing a very helpful letter to my local hospital to ensure my treatment becomes a hell of a lot better than what it is so I shouldnt b so scared to get help if i need it. I have also been to birmingham gastro team and they have told me I need surgery on my tummy to stop the acid burning my lungs and this will b done in rough 2 or 3 months so another thing to worry myself over for the next few months!! Well thats my rant for now TTFN XXXX

Tuesday 4 June 2013

Driving Me Mental

I really don't know what to do with myself, whether to move out, whether to live with mum, whether I should mention to mum that I'm fed up with her lies and much much more. Basically as you know mum and my old step dad had split up and we moved out in February. Within a few weeks mum had started getting in contact with one of her old friends Paul. Yes that is great, mum is getting out again. Until I find out that mum is starting to flirt with Paul and vice versa. Paul may I add is engaged!! I don't mind the fact that mum is flirting with someone if it makes her happy. What I don't like though is that she may be breaking up a what was perfectly happy relationship which I know she hated when someone done that to her and my dad. I also hate the fact that my mum has given me two dates, this Saturday and a Monday that I have to be out of the house and I need to find somewhere to go. I hate the fact that I am being kicked out of my own home, its totally unfair and I'm not well enough to be just floating about the streets!! The last thing I hate (for now) is that my mum has lied to both me and my nan saying that she's having this "friend" (Paul) coming round as they have some business they need to discuss when I know for a fact that it isn't for this and its actually so that they can get up to know good. How do I know this you ask!? Because mum let her emails open and I next went on the laptop and also because my mum has left some disgusting photos on the computer that she failed to delete properly. So I wouldn't mind if mum wants people to come around but I would actually like to be told the truth. I think she forgets that I am an adult now and don't like being lied to! I am however going down to see the other half on the weekend as I don't want to be anywhere near the house to be treated like crap like I am. The best thing is the other half doesn't know that I am coming so it will be a huge suprise for her and she will love it (I hope) So my life right now is a little topsy turvy and I really haven't a clue of what to do for the best as I cant live like this. I move out the first time this started happening when I was 17 as I couldn't cope, sadly the difference between me then and me now is that now I am super poorly and have to admit I am scared to be living on my own!! So thats my little life for now, sorry its a little depressing!! TTFN XXXX

Thursday 30 May 2013

Photography

Photography recently has become a huge part in my life. As many of my readers are aware, my passion was to become a Paramedic but sadly due to my health being so cruddy I've recently had to live up to reality and crush that dream (for now at least). I have invested in a new DLSR camera and have started to put my photos onto cards and postcards to try ad sell them as a hobby and make some money for my new aspirations in life. (Well, it was a back up dream I've always had) which is... Setting up a fully disabled friendly photo studio to allow all walks of life to be able to have family photos, portraits and great photos for their walls. Yes your probably thinking this is a huge change in careers, but photography is a huge passion in my life and has always been since I first discovered a camera and I'm hoping that I can make this into my new life passion to keep me motivated and going. Please check out my Facebook page and share amongst everyone you know, the support will do me wonders!! https://www.facebook.com/CharlieWarliePhotography?ref=hl TTFN XXXX

Wednesday 29 May 2013

Hospitals And Their Sucky Moments!!

Just over a week ago now I had yet another admission, thankfully (I say this but I guess its not really) It was only short lived. That was because I self discharged. Yes I know silly me but hear me out... Yet again I had been spoken to like a piece of rubbish by a particular Doctor, to which he also tried stopping all my maintenance medication by saying I didn't have asthma. The Ironic thing is though he wanted to keep me on Iv Aminophylline for a few days that had been started. ER if I don't have asthma then please stop giving me poisonous drugs thanks!! Either way all had continued including my maintenance medication. Along with all these nasty drugs I also had to suffer having 10 litres of oxygen, so lots of nosebleeds were occurring. By the Saturday evening I had yet again been spoke to like a piece of crap by the same Doctor so I decided enough was enough, I was going home. off comes the oxygen and outcomes the drips. I'm off and tough if they don't like it. As soon as I got home, I wrote all my thoughts down which took up three pieces of paper (whoops) and emailed it straight to my Consultant in my local hospital and my other Consultant in Birmingham. By 0830 Monday morning I had a reply back from Birmingham and lets just say that they are not happy with my treatment at all and are getting on the case straight away. Sadly to say though, but not surprisingly my local hospital still haven't replied. Just shows how uncaring they are really doesn't it. I do have my local hospital as an outpatient on the 6rd of June though so it will be brought up again and I wont be leaving until I know I can trust the hospital with handling with my life. On other notes, I have an appointment with the Gastro team on the 3rd Jully so fingers crossed plans for my tummy surgery and start being made and on the 30th July I have the immunologist team so hopefully they can figure out why I'm having so many allergic reaction. its all going on!! TTFN XXXXX

Sunday 19 May 2013

What A Busy Few Weeks

Since speaking to all you loverly people a few weeks back I have been super busy.
Whoops it would seem i forgot to press post on this blog from february. Have fum getting confused now hey!! To feedback from my last post, my DLA tribunal went ace, got the higher rate of both mobility and care, a judge, doctor and dla representative all with a brain to see how limited my life is.
Myself and mum went house hunting, found a lush little cottage in Wellington, but sadly it just wasnt practical for us at all. The hunt continues and we found a super amazeballs two bed house around the corner from where we currently are, and it is the best for us as its small and manageable plus it has bathrooms both up and down stairs, also a huge walk in shower which will help me loads. To top it off, we move in on Wednesday so me and mum are super busy packing (hence the shoddy lack of blogging again)
Sadly I also had an admission to hospital with my lungs again, chucked a huge paddy and 24 hourd late I asked to be discharged as was far from happy. 3 days down the line and I have the biggest infection going, great timing on my behalf yet again!!
On much much much more happier notes, week monday and its my birthday, going to be the grand old age of 22 hey, far to old for my liking, I want to to be 22months ald agin, sound much more of a better life.
Even happier notes yet again, in 6 days time I will b picking up the stunning other half from Exeter to which she will be staying with me untill Tuesday and we then both drive back down to Cornwall and ill be staying with her for a week and boy wont that week going to be busy as we have, my birthday, sponsored walk, valentines day and a wedding all in that week ooo and were going to the zoo, so excited as I miss her massively!!
Random notes, just thought I would share with you that soon I will be investing in a super sonic camera, and hopfully going to start doing so proper amazing photos for people to start to raise some funds to help me and mum out.
Well, that be all for now, sorry its a small catch up, but Ill let you all nnow how the move went and when I next have internet!!
TTFN
XXXX

Asthma

Last year I made a video for youtube about my asthma. As not much has changed with treatment, hospitals and general care i wanted to re push my story. My story has changed slightly now especially with regards to the level of admissions.

Please take the time to watch the video its literally 3 minutes of your life. Not much compared to what a person suffering from asthma goes through daily hey!! 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQUA83aCTJA

TTFN
XXXX

Wednesday 8 May 2013

Here, There and Everywhere

I have no idea why I tend to leave blogging for so long as I forget where I last left things and I forget how much Ive done in that time so here goes ... and it will probably not be in the order in which I done it either!!

So first up, because I have the most amazing mum in the world who looks after me so well, and puts up with a lot from me I decided that she needed a holiday and that I was going to treat her, so I told her that she had 24 hours to find a nice holiday lodge that would be dog friendly and that we were going the last week of April so she best get looking and fast. she found a place called Honeysuckle lodge, and one thing I forgot to mention to mum is that I wasnt rich, but she loved the look of it and the next thing I know Im booking it,
Honeysuckle Lodge
The lodge was the most beautiful looking thing I have every stage in. The views when i woke up every morning were stunning and that was before I even moved in my bed as the beds were placed directly facing the windows to we had something amazing to look at from the moment we woke the moment we went to bed. During the week holiday we had done some much that I was exhausted and sadly my legs couldnt hold me any longer and the gave way (serves my right really for not using my crutches). We visited 3 beached, the lost garden of heligan, gardens of trebah, had a suprise dinner with mum and Sophie's parents (and thankfully the got on amazingly) and we also went around lost off different towns ranging from Boscatle to Perranporth. Thankfully the weather was the best weve had this year and we even caught some rays. Mum had had the most amazing chilled out week she has had in a long time, so much so that she didnt want to come home. So I think my goal had been achieved for saying thank you. Love you mum!!

Lost Gardens of Heligan
Gardens of Trebah










Before our lush holiday I had been back up to Heartlands hospital for my 3 monthly appointment. Sadly my lung function was still only 52%. this is a bonus of course as the last time it was 47% but its still not perfect. My consultant has decided that my reflux is getting far to out of control and that it is time for me to have surgery (fundoplication). Now many people say that this is a minor operation, and yes I agree to some degree as nothing is being removed and nothing is being added BUT for me this is a huge thing as the last time I had surgery I stopped breathing as I had an allergic reaction to the anaesthetic, so its fair to say, its a huge operation to me. On top of this, Im not looking forward to being on liquidized food for 2 weeks following the surgery either. YUCKY!!
I did ask the question of what more there is for me following the operation for if it didnt work, and my consultants response was, I have more up my sleeve, but try and be positive. This is great but as this has been going on now all my life, I am starting to feel that Asthma is actually taking over my life and it is restricting me so much that I cant handle it any more!! I also discussed with my consultant that I didnt want to be on steroids anymore and he told me that I have to, im not allowed lower that 10mg so instead of being on the high dose I was on we decided to do a drastic dose straight from 40mg to 10mg and boy havnt I paid for it since, for a week flat (and still on and off now) I was getting severe nightmares that scared the poop out of me and resulted in me just not sleeping as they were to nasty. then when the nightmares started dyeing down a little and I managed to get a little bit of sleep, my body would only let me have about 2 hours at a time before it was telling me I had to be awake again. SUCKY much!! On top of the horrid dreams, I have had a headache now for the whole time that I have been on this low dose steroid, my joints and muscles have been in agony and ive been eating paracetamol and tramadol like its going out of fashion!! I generally cant wait for things to start improving health wise!!

I also had an admission which wasnt all that nice as I ended up on lots of oxygen again IV aminophylline. I have to say this is starting to be a regular occurance now which im not liking as they are also really struggling to get IV access with me and when they do they soon collapse. I have talked to consultants about having a port a cath fitted but currently they are saying that whilst they can find a vein under ultrasound scan they will continue to do so. which I have to say sucks a little bit as im ending up with stained skin where im constantly bruising and they just arent healing properly. 

Before all the above had happened, mum had also sadly collapsed and went unconscious on me. it was super scary as I couldnt move fast enough like I used to to help her. I got an ambulance as soon as possible as she was knocked out for a good 5 mins and even when she came around I didnt have the strength to lift her. As it turned out the paramedics didnt want her lifted untill they got there anyhow just incase she had hurt herself. Mum did have to spend the night in hospital as it turned out her blood pressure was mega low, nd this was probably due to stress because of the split and all the hassle still going on with her ex. It seems that even though we have moved out from them they are still causing hell. So the much needed holiday from about was most certainly needed for more that my reasons of giving mum a break for myself!!

Well I think that has been the highlights of my life so far!!

TTFN

XXXX

Tuesday 26 February 2013

Wozers Its Been Eventful

I realise now that it has been a bloody long time since Ive last updated my blog...apologies and all that but this girls been busy, VERY busy. In brief here is is:

*Got engaged
*Had a birthday
*Spent 10 amazing days with my girl
*Got a new rabbit - named hime Gizmo
*Complete the sponsored walk that I told you all about
*Been in hospital
And I think thats it...post over...

Joke now to fill you in, this is by no means in order, and I dont apologise becuase if I hadnt of told you, you would have never known c:

So first up the engagement. It was amazing. I was SUPER happy and the ring is lush. It was done in such a way I knew absolutly nothing about it. Tied to a balloon was my ring to which I walked in on after a walk, couldnt get much more unique than that hey!? Jealous, I would be!!

My birthdya was about the same as usual birthday wise but this time I had my girlfriend with me and she met all my family, result!!

10 amazing days with my girl going shopping, to the beach, lazying about and general having the most memerable time EVER

Got a new rabbit (for my birthday) and both myself and Sophie decided on the the name Gizmo, I declare him our first joint pet - yay

We completed our sponsored walk. 7 miles in 2hours and 53 minutes!! Excellent!! So please with us all. We still have money coming in so feel free to donate. Oh and either next week or the week after we are in take a break so dont forget to get yours and read it.

And to end my amazing time, I landed in hospital with super low oxygen levels and landed on on the super drugs with having a silent chest. Perfect, not!!

Below are some photos (I hope) see if you can work out which is which, shouldnt be that hard.

TTFN

XXXX




Monday 21 January 2013

What A Year So Far!!

I seem to be lacking on the posting front yet again, whoops...lets see what I cant remember!!

To start with, because I have no money ive not been able to see the lovely other half and that sucks!!

Ive also been admitted to hospital but instead of it being for my asthma, it was for tummy pain, and I was there for 10 days. Sadly they couldnt operate though to sort the problem because of my lungs so they sent me home on pain relief...but the pain is still there and its horrid.

On other notes, Ive had my Uni interview which went ok. Not heard anything yet, so no news is good news right!?

This week I am back it Birmingham and I also have my DLA Tribunal so fingers crossed something positive will come out of those two!!

On crappy notes, my EX step dad is being the biggest A hole imaginable and told me and mum that we have to get out. As we have been told by the solicitor that we have to stay untill he gives us money we are literally being treated like shit and I really do hate having to sit here through it!!

Im pretty sure thats most of the last few weeks, if not watch this space c;

XXXX

Thursday 3 January 2013

Out With The Old - In With The New!!

Ok so it seems I have slacked a little with the blog side of things, whoops, I personally blame Christmas!!

So I'm trying to think for where we left off and I'm mega failing...

Well in brief, I have got an interview for Uni in the middle of this month, ive got another appointment for Birmingham, and I have also got my court case for fighting to get DLA which could be rather stressful I think!!

Going back a few weeks though, I have spent lots of time with the amazeballa girlfriend who has been beyond support its unbelievable!! We had our first mini Christmas as I couldnt get down actually on Christmas day. We swapped gifts at this time also and she got me the most amazing present ever!! Very thoughtful!!
As mentioned in previous posts I was going to be volunteering in a homeless shelter on christmas day, I had been to all the briefing and meetings and all was going swimmingly, untill of course I got admitted to hospital with my Asthma and didnt get let out untill Christmas eve to which it was still un safe for me to be volunteering, and good job I didnt as by boxing day I was poorly again and was taking a visit to the out of hours gp, what a fun filled christmas hey!!

Ive been bouncing up and down to cornwall visiting the lush other half, and we went back to eden project as I now have free entry for a year-bargain!!

I have also gone back and visited some of the staff  at my old works and it was super lush, and I also got to have a walk around the new ward that if my health wasnt such a nightmare I would be working on, ans its super cool!!

Today though I have been a little poorly where I didnt sleep very much as all last night and I have also been massively sick, it wasnt very nice at all!!
But onwards and upwards, got a uni inteview in a few weeks and I need to prepare!! Yay!!

Oh and I nearly forgot, Asthma UK have Bern in contact and want to do a press release on the sponsored walk in February!!

TTFN
XXXX

Reindeer at eden
funky flower at eden
freaky spider at Eden *BitesNails*