Such A Nit Wit

As you can tell from the title, I still havnt learnt from my mistakes. Last night I had to put my steroids up because I was struggling so much, and today my lung function still isnt good, but that still didnt get me to sit on my arse and chill. I had to take my other half to volunteering at lunch time, but because we wetevearly, we decided to walk around the local park with the puppy. That initially killed me espevially as I decided to walk tjis time instead of using my wheelchair. Once I got back home, I had to sort all the pets foods out and get the rabbits in the run. I then had to have some dinner, do my meds and then try and sort my pc out, all before I had to then go pick the other half from work. Stupidly though, I promise my other half that we could go to a place called Cardinham woods and go for a walk with the pup and also have a 'naughty hot chocolate' because it is so hilly though I refused to have someone push me in my chair so ended up walking again. Safly though we only got about 5 minutes in and my legs were giving way and I couldnt breathe, so we had to turn around and go sit gown. I was gutted. Steroid myopathy and brittle asthma are so dibitating and is slowly killing my independance and freedom. My flash back are also flaring back up again. More than the usual daily stuff. I think its because my body is struggling again and its scaring me for what might happen. Im hoping they will settle down again soon!! My pain has also gone ridiculous. This is my fault though. Because of trying for a baby, I have stopped taking my morphine as I dont want it risking causing any harm to the foetus at all. Im considering asking my GP to refer me to rhe pain team to get things back under control. In happy news though, this week I lost another pound in weight. That means I have one pound and three quaters to loose and ive lost another stone in weight which totaled up, thats three stone since last August, im so chuffed with regards to that!! Well, sorry for the depressing post, I just had to talk to someone and you guys seem perfect. TTFN XXXX

Happiness To Ignorance!!

As its Monday, its weigh day again. I was dreading it. Because of having flu last week, I didnt really eat much real food, just general crap so I figured I was bound to put weight on. But...I didnt, yay. I lost another 1 1/4 so I was chuffed. I have 2 3/4 pounds to go and ive lost 3 stone since last August. Im over the moon. Never thought I would be able to shift this steroid induced weight but with pure determination and the support from my other half we are getting through it together, to ehich I must add that she to lost weight this week also!! I dropped my other half off into town at lunch time for her to do her volunteering and I firstly went off to the Doctors to get my prescription ready for going awayvtomorrow to which they told me that because I only ordered them on Thursday they werent ready yet. I ask how long till they were and they responded with 1430. I walked out ubber pissed off as that was in less than two hours time. The thing that hacked me off even more was that she picked my drugs up off the side as they were ready and prepared in the basket, all they needed was a final check and to be put into a friggin bag. It would have taken 5 minutes if that to sort, but no I have to go all the way back out there tomorrow in the opposite direction to our mini break and hope that they have all my drugs for me!! After this cock up I then had to get back to town to go to the dentist. I had to have a very small filling as my nebulisers have started effecting my teeth. Bearing in mind I am disabled, to which the dentist surgery are aware of because I told them itll be difficult to get to them as they dont have a lift and are on a first floor and its two flights of stairs up. So bearing this in mind, I climb the stairs, sit and wait 40 mins as they are running behind which is also very uncomfortable for my hip and then finally get called in, to what looks like an obsticle course, to which my dentist didnt move anything to allow me getting into the chair any easier. At this point, other than calling my name, he still hasnt said a single word to me. He then tips the chair back without prewarning me and then stabs the needled straight into my upper gum...again without no pre warning. The treat ment then begins and it seems the dentist has finally found his voice, but only to say if the grinding hurts, raise your left hand. I expected to have one of those clothes protector bib things on so they didnt splash my clothes with anything, but no, nothing and my jumper gets drenched. Again pissed off. After hes finished, he raise the chair up but still hasnt said a word to me so I guess hes finished and struggle back through the obsticle course to get back to the door. On my way out, I ask he how long it is untill I need another appointment and he sits there pondering and then say hmm I guess a year. A year, one fucking year. With being on long term steroids and clearly getting damage from my medication, he wants to leave it a year. My last dentist wanted me with her every 4-6 months. The conclusion to this barbaric treatment is : typical nhs. I have to admit, I much prefer private dentistry, just wish there was on local that would excempt me being exempt from payment because of ESA.ooo I almost for got, on top of all this, hes got filling paste all over my two teeth and its clearly visable which has also pissed me off as its my front two teeth!! So, after my crazy appointment I go home to chill out. Im so stressed from it and have another headache as a result. Not what I need. TTFN XXXX