Mixed Emotions.

This week has literally been all over the place for me and my wife but as usual, we are getting through it. First off, our donor has been helping us. We found a new donor to help us have a child. He lives in Cambridge and has a girlfriend but sadly she has a fatal geart condition so could never carry a child. He doesnt want to be involved physically but just wants updates. We are happy with that and at the end if the day, we have stated that for us to choose whether our child knows their father before they are even born is completly unfair. We are choosing their life, yet they should choose their path. So far we have had three donations and fingers crossed a few more as the week goes by. The next bit of craziness is that we had to find another foster family for Dixie because after we have her for two weeks over christmas, her currently family could no longer have her. We found two lovely people around the corner from us, but sadly on Monday, they to got made homeless by the council so it all fell through This week though, I have said some weird stuff to my wife. Firstly being that I told her I wasnt renewing our post redirection for her mums address as I have a really funny feeling we are going to get offered our permenant home. Then when the foster situation fell through I then said to my wife (this being a different day) im not going to put out a new add for a foster family for her as I have a funny feeling we are bringing her back to live with us in January. Today, at 11:15 am I got a phone call. Its the council. We have been allocated a house. We are viewing it tomorrow at 10:30 am and if it is suitable, we will get the keys by monday hopefully. Now come on, these weirdfeeling I had, something cant be right there surly. How did I know!? In other positive news, I had a big medical supplys delivery today... and our first home visit assessment to see if we can cope doing my infusions at home. Guess what, we aced that too. And again she went on about how amazed at how fast we have picked up on this and that we have been the fastest out of the 70 patients on her clinic list. She also caught eye of all my knitting and was amazed and impressed with that too. So, all in all so far this week has been fantastic. Can you all keep your fingers crossed for the new home and positive tests for next week. In the mean time, I am fighting yet more issues with my lungs. Sky high temp, low sats and peak flow and a wheezy chest. Perfect. Life goes on though. TTFN XXXX

The End Is Near

The title for my post today is very relevant to a number of things, firstly, the end to this year. This year has not only been fantastic because we got Dixie, but because we got married, my wife turned 21, we have met our potential sperm donor, we have moved into our own home, we have a new nephew, ive started a new treatment and so far, this is the first year ive only landed in ITU once. The second thing that is nearing to an end is, from what it seems, the weekly trips to plymouth hospital being taught my subcut Ig infusions. Myself and my wife have pucked up and remembered the whole routine in just one session so now we are literally just reasuring ourselves and also keeping an eye on the headaches I am getting following these treatments each week. My link nurse seems to think though that shell be doing a home visit by christmas and then we will only need to go to clinic for follow ups. The third thing coming to an end this year is Dixie being in foster. Weight, dont get excited just yet as no we havnt been given a permenant home. Just sadly the lady who was fostering whilst her husband works away so that she g ad company can no longer foster because her husband is no longer working away and he wNts to decorate the house. We aremanaging to stay at my dads from christmas day untill the 6th of January but then we are stuck, we have nowhere for Dixie to go. I refuse to get rid of her. This year has literally been full of emotions being both positive and negetive. A lot of how the year has turned out has been utter crap, but it seems that no matter what is thrown at us, we have managed to pick ourselves up, carry on and see the lighter sideof things. To top of this year, I got gi en my mobity scooter. Ive been on it fir about 10 minutes at a time so far untill this week. This week has shown new beginnings, opportunities and prospect because myself and my wife were able to go for a stroll down the camel trail for 3 hours and although I was tired it was purly through fresh air and chest infection instead of the usual muscle weakness and breThlessness. I really cant bieve how so much can go on in just one persons life. May e I should write a book...though dont hold me to that as the chances of me following it through are as high a chance of me doing a skydive jump. TTFN XXXX

Suprises

Nearly three years ago now I turned 21. Most people remember this birthday as a special one with great memories and events. For me it was crap just like the last ten birthdays I have had.for me this one was rubbish for a new reason,I was in hospital up until the day before,I had a photo shoot booked for my actual birthday but I was extremly exhausted and looked like shit, and worst of all my then step dad had told his kids that him and my mum had recently got engaged. The cried, screamed and made a point if ruining my day. With how ny birthdays have gone, I made a promise to myself, and that was that anyone new who enters into my life would get treated amazingly on their birthdays and this year, it was my wifes 21st bithday, november 25th to be exact. From my previous blog you can see that on the 23rd I got her a guinea pig, yes nearly a week on we do finally have a name, it being Heidi. My other half loves her and it has helped give her a great daily focus and a new meaning to get out if bed in the morning, other than to just help me. On Tuesday I had a huge suprise for her also. During the day her parents took us for mcdonalds (which has upset me as they forgot it was her 21st and it seemed like they really didnt give a damn). At 5pm we started getting ready, all the usual questions kept being asked like where we going, what we doing, what do I need to wear. Of course I only let onto the clothes she needed lol. We then left at about 6ish to head to our destination. Jamie olivers fifteen resturaunt. She absolutly loved it. She had never been anywhere like this or ever had so much money spent on her. In my eyes though she deserves it. She does so much for me daily, she deserves to have something for her. So we dined in expensiveness and had moctales because we are so classy ha. At the end of the meal, because I prebooked and told them it was a big occassion, my lovely lady had 12 perposly baked cupcakes made for here and displayed on a wooden voard with chocolate sauce wrote on the board saying happy birthday. They also put canels in the cupcakes too. They treated us both so well, its hard to believe there are still amazing people and atmospheres out there. On wednesday, going a bit cheaper this time, I then took her to the cinema to watch the new hunger games film. Well, for me to as im addicted to it. We bith loved it and cant wait for the second part to be released. To top off the week, our new future sperm donor also rang to chat in person and he seems like such a nice cating person. I just really hope this means that soon, we could have child. Not only this but, my dad has agreed for me and the other half to let us stay with him for two weeks over christmas so that we could have Dixie. Like I say, this week has just been full of suprises. TTFN XXXX

A Positive End To The Week

Im starting off with Tuesday because its quick and breif and doesnt really match the title. As you know, we have now been without our princess Dixie for five weeks and its making us beyond sad. For one we really wanted her at our wedding next Thursday that it would be a miracle to have had her back. So instead, I had found on of the top tattoo studies in England and pleaded with them with our story and the managed to have a cancellation on Tuesday and we got it. I can now say that both me and the other half are the proud owners of a new tattoo and it freaking killed. We have it in the same spot, on our left hand side on our ribs parallel to our hearts. Its a unique tattoo that noone else will ever have because its Dixies name and her exact paw print. I bruised mega bad and it is still heali g but here is a picture 3 hours after we had it do.

Wednesday we were super lazy and couldnt be bothered yo do anything majorly important so chilled and watched tv,oh and my friend set me a challenge to knit her son some mittens, and I gave to admit, these too are amazing.

On Thursday I drove us both up to my mums to have a pre wedding hen meal type thingy. We also picked up my sister along the way and of course my ickle nephew who has and is growing up far to fast. Of course I had lots and lots of cuddles and cant wait to see him again next week for the wedding. I really loved being with the three main ladies of my life. Our relationships are getting far better and we literally get on amazingly. I couldnt wish for a better family. To top of the day, to be even more amazing, my sister asked if I would be my bephews hod mummy, to which of course I said yes. Wasnt refusing that task. Today was the day for the council lady to come around because our temporary flat has started to grow mould. We all know irs down to a build up of condensation but sadly this shit of a flat has night storage heaters so it will alwas have these issues. I have purchased today an electric heater to see if itll help keep our electric down but also hrlp us out. We also learnt today that the council has yet again failed us. Our homeless officer rang the department and learnt that despite having higher rate dla, I hadnt been flagged up as an even more urgent priority for having a fit, safe and stable home. Thankfully this has now been done and should help us move quicker. Bloody hope its soon. Five days till the wedding aahh TTFN XXXX

Moving Forward

Yesterday ive finally got to a pain team appointment. Ive been having chronic on going pain, not just for my hip but because of the myopathy from the steroids. Unfortunatly at present no intervension is possible unless its with pain releif. Ive been maxing out on paracetamol, tramadol, codiene and oramorph with little to no effect so now ive been started on a tens machine which is hooked to my hip 24/7 and i turn it on for 1.5 hours every 4 times a day. Ive also been started on bupanorphine patch ontop of everything else. So far theres been no change other than the bupanorphine knocking me out and the tens machine causing pins and needles down my leg. My life seems like such an adventure lol.

Ubfortunatly, my friend who I mentioned a little while back, has remained in hospital and had started rehab and moved to a ward, sadly though today she has had to be taken back to intensive back and has been reventilated, really hope she continues to fight through this nasty infection that is still pumping through her body.

Weve had regular updates with regards to Dixie being at her foster mums. Initially we thought we have had to put her in the kennels as she wouldnt stop crying us which was resulting in noone sleeping. The foster mum had spoke to her husband and they decided that because she wasnt like a normal foster dog they looked after, they would let her upstairs in their sons room with him and suprise suprise, shes aparently the perfect house guest which is amazing to hear. So much so that the foster mum even felt she could let her off the lead over the feild today. Its lush to hear that shes doing so well. Just hope she remembers us when she comes home.

Thats all for now

TTFN

XXXX

Mixed

Now that ive got internet back for a little while and can catch up on lifes happenigs over the last 5 days i figured i would update u all.

On Saturday, our friends came over to help mover our rabbits and their homes over to the new flat. First stop tho was lidl as we needed a much. After all this i was so tired i could barely do anything so my job was to look after their son. Figured it was good enough and not to intense as i was beyond tired.

On sunday we had a very early start. This was the day we sadly had to say goodbye to Dixie as she was off ot her foster mum. To whom is absolutly lovely and has kept us updated daily. Sadly dixie has cired on the evenings and her foster mum aparently went and slept on the sofa with her. Feel so bad for her having to do that.

Amongst this on Sunday, we went via my sister to have snuggles with the nephew and to give him hes halloween outfit and also went via mums for a roast mmmm good stuff.

We had to go to the old house on sunday evening when we finally got back to cornwall to fill the last few bits of or kit and take them over to the flat. I think we got to sleep at 1am and had to be up by 730 as we had to go via the house on the way to my hospital appointment.

My appointment was with regards to the lump in my mouth. Aparently it is very similar to the one i had on my lip last christmas but much bigger. For healthy people they would be out under a general and have the whole gland taken out but because i stop breathing with generals hes going to try a different version. He is putting local in my mouth and taking off the top layer of my lump in the hope itll cause it to stop growing and even shrink. This is happening on the 22nd of this month. sadly though if this doesnt work ive no choice but to be put under.

With regards to the council we have finally been put up to a band be as they have decied weare and urgent priority to needing a home. Perfect

For now though we are settled in the flat and a lot happier than we were in the house.

im offski now though ready for pride of britain.

TTFN

XXXX

All Getting Too Much

This weekend is that last weekend we have in this home and to be honest I bloody glad.

I really feel sorry for my girlfriend, shes never lived in a home without her parents and theyve not given a flying fuck. Theyve not cared at all these last few weeks for how she feels. Bearing in mind she suffers severly with anxiety and depression.

As of today, her parents have left the house. Though they will be back as theyve left lots of shit behind. So we are here on our own untill Sunday.

Weve only had one friend who has helped us A LOT and we cant thank them enough. Whats really pissed me off is that initialy my girlfriends parents said that they will fire a van and move our stuff and their stuff. Then suddenly today they rocked up with a van and we werent allowed to put any stuff on it so im blinking glad that over the last week we have slowly been taking stuff over to our new flat.

Tonight they came back quickly to get something and then left whilst shouting bye from the bottom of the stairs. It wasnt a nice goodbye with any effection for my girlfriend at all and from past experiences at my end, when you leave tje family home its extremly upsetting and yet her parents actually i re phrase that, NONE of her family have even bothered to ask her how she is. I think its disgusting and its completly uncalled for.

Till this day aswell they are still treating us like we are five stating that we cant fill some holes in the wall from where we took our stuff down...bearing in mine 10 mo ths ago we decorate this room and had to fill in holes then...and if they think we are still children, you would think they would ask their own daughter how shes coping but no!

On a lighter note, yesterday we had our homeless officer contact us to give us an update. My doctors, ive no idea which one out of them all have finally decided to send in a medical report and the housing team have stated that we are a urgenty priority to be placed into a long term home and we have been bumped up to a B band so fingers crossed not long and we shall have our own home officially.

On a safer not though, weve only 2 more nights and one long day left with Dixie. I was sorting her stuff out earlier ready to go to the foster home abd my hesrt was breaking. I hate the fact that my girlfriends parents are being so nasty as to not have her meaning we have to put her in a home 3 hours away from us. Im gutted. I mean come on, you wouldnt purposly give up your child because of a housing situatio  so why are we being forced to give up our puppy. I hate it. Just got to pray that we get our permenant home pretty bloody soon.

Because my girlfriend is clearly breaking down, ive done a little suprise for her. Ive made a card on moonpig to welcome her to her new home with me and ive also ordered some personalised cup coasters with 4 pictures on. One big one of us 2 and the  3 little ones of Dixie so hopefully thatll cheer her up.

For now though im off as im wasting precious time with Dixie

TTFN

XXXX

Happiness

Just flying by to say

WEVE GOT A HOME!!!!!!!!!!

Ok its only a temporary emergency accomadation but it means that we wont be homeless by the 6th October as weve been given the keys today

Happy

Downside, we cant bring our puppy with us to this temporary place so were trying to get her fostered untill we can have her back.

Sad

TTFN

XXXX

The Love Of My Life

What an amazing few days ive had...but shhhh dont tell everyone else my enjoyment may be stolen!!

Last christmas, my amazing fiance got me 2 shrek tickets for Bristol Hippodrome. Thankfully also we had recently been given a disability grant. As a result we booked 2 nights away.

On the Wednesday initially we dropped Dixie off at the kennels which we hated might i add and really didnt want to leave her. We then went via my sisters to have cuddles with the nephew and then we finally set off to Bristol.

After we checked in we went for a stroll around cribbs causeway in the hunt for baby clothes bargains as my nephew has been given lots of 3-6 months and older clothers but has about 3 0-3month clothes. Thankfully BHS had a huge sale on and we got 5 outfits for £16 which i was super pleased with. I then treated my lady to spud-u-like. Yes ok people may be like, what, you took her for a jacket potato...but its amazing. You can choose ur own filling and shes never heard of this food place before. Thankfully we both super enjoyed ourselves, so much so we tucked into a millies cookie for pudding...which the othernhalf has also never heard of or eaten before.

Thursday came and it was show time, but not before i treated my girlfriend to another food adventure shes never heard of. I took her to flavourz. Which for those who dont know its and all you can eat buffet bar which has chinese, indian, italian, english and much more all for a great price of £4.95 at lunch tim.

Shrek of course was out of this world. We both was so happy when we left. My other half has also never been to see a show in a theatre before so she was beside her self with joy. Which might i add was great to see after all the crap weve had at home lately. (We ended up buying a gingy puppet to take home for Dixie which she has already eaten off a gum drop oops ha)

Friday came and it was time to come home.

First off we went via the cemetry to visit my nan and grandad. Sadly i am the only family member that ever goes to visit them and also buy them new flowers and decorate their head stones and i was mightly pissed to see that some bastard had stolen the one whole pot of flowers that was on my grandads head stone. Filthy scumbags they are for stealing others stuff. I hate it so much and it makes me really angry.

Well, rant over and off we popped for lunch with mum and my step dad. Whilst eating away, my mum suddenly come out with "how do you feel about coming away with us easter week next year as a wedding present from us. All youll do is share the place with us and you can go off and gander for the whole time". Needless to say we were both shocked and of course said yes.

We finally got home at 8pm or just after. Half way back to Cornwall and the motorway ends up like an asda carpark so wet stopped at Exeter services and sat it out for a little while. Much comfier on the costa sofas that in a car seat.

Today was amazing also. We left to go and pick up Dixie again. The reaction.we got when shet saw us around the corner was the best ever. If youve never seen a excitable puppy, picture a springer spaniel on speed and triple it as that was what Dixie was like. And we loved it.

When we got home i settled down and made the finaly present for my sister. When we first met my nephew, i took my beastie camera with met and took a lot of photos for her. In fact 54 in total. Because im nice, i have gone out and got a black papered paperchase book and made a little portfolio of all the photos i took for her. I was going to send it in the post to suprise her just like ive sent 3 photos to my mum and nan but now that its complete it is rather large so ill be giving it to her in person on the 10th.

Other than all this excitment. The usual crap has gone on. My chest is flaring up again. My ladies parents are still be arseholes and went in our room again whilst we were away. A lock will now be put on our door when we next get paid in 2 weeks. Ggrr

Well i think thats all for now

TTFN

XXXX

Good vs Bad

Firstly yesterday. Bloody hell I was a right state. My partner was at the gym and i decided it would be a great idea to take our puppy for a walk. All was going well untill we got to a walkway that ran alongside a railway track. At the point of us getting to the track a steam train went by. Our puppy decided it was a great idea to try and chase it. So running as fast as she could her lead stretched as far as possible causing me to be pulled and i fell over which somehow caused her lead to unhook from her harness and she was gone. Because of my asthma and muscles disease i couldnt get to her. A well, undisabled person would of been able to chase their puppy and get them back but for me i couldnt. Plus i was super hurting from falling. At the end of the lane there was a cross roads that led to a road so i had every thought going through my head. I even had it that she had got onto the train track.

I rang the police and the wouldnt help, they told me to ring the non emergency police to which i done...once i got through they refused to help me and told me the emergency services shouldnt have told me to ring them. He told me to ring the council to get the dog warden. Once i got through to them (25minutes later) all they done was take my details just incase someone found her.

Thankfully a fellow dog walker saw me in a complete state and went hunting for her. She also gave me tasks to do whilst i stayed put just incase our puppy came back. I put a shout out on fb, i also rang to local radion and they also done a shout out for us and we rang around the local vets.

2 hours later i had a missed call and a man slowly drove past me asking for a street. That street being where i lived and as soon as i started talking, my voice must of been recognised as next thing i know my puppy jumped up in the back of his carmand went mental for me. (I didnt see her straight away as i was on the floor). The extremely kind man found her about a mile away looking like she was running away from something. I hate to think what was going through her head. As all i know is i was stressed, devestated and in a right straight. Its like a part of my heart had been taken out. Once home and since yesterday, our puppy has been super clingy and wont be in a room on her own so is following us everywhere.

Thanks to the pure kidness of some local people, we have our little pup back but i still keep thinking of the worse...

In good news though, i had a letter through the post today, and i was dreading it as there was a stamp on the front from the muscular dystrophy campaign.

I opened it up think the worst and that they wouldnt consider my application for a grant to get a mobility scooter because of the lack of evidence BUT they stated that theyve reviewed me as an emergency case and have granted me the top amount of £1000 to get the scooter that i had qouted for me as it was made specificly for me. All i need now is to get a further grant of £249 and the scooter have been paid in full so if anyone knows of a great charity that would be able to help me then please let me know...who knows, having this scooter could of prevented me from falling yesterday meaning our puppy wouldnt have gone missing

TTFN

XXXX

Depression

Yes i know i keep banging on about it, but for me this is my current life. Its not getting an better right now.

My other half is still getting stupid stupid amounts of hell from her parents. To the point of today her mum left the cooking stuff and our bowls on the side for us to wash as she was refusing to do. My other half left 2 bowls as they werent hers and her mum kicks off. We rsponded by saying she shouldnt have been so pathetic in the first place.

I mean come on really!? Somethings in life really arnt worth arguing about but shes making a huge point to make everything an argument.

I really really hope we can move out of this shit enviornment soon as its making me extremly depressed and ive also put on 5lb in 2 weeks because my diet has been crap through my depression.

On a happy note...Dixie is jumping around the bedroom eating moths...

TTFN

XXXX

As Promised

Ok, a little delayed but here are the photos I said I would post. Here is Mr Spice post surgery, back in my arms, super snuggly and super sleepy.

Here are the shoes that i have decorated myself-because i am amazing of course c; joke. Only thing left to do though is add the laces but they still havnt arrived yet.

And finally here is my first 90 knitted hats ready to be boxed up and posted

Hold that thought, there is one more photo that i couldnt resist not showing you. Myself and my partner had our heads turned for literally 5 secs, when all of a sudden we heard crunching and remembered we had left the crisp packet (still with crisp in) on the bed - bad move as this is what we looked around to lol

TTFN XXXX

knee And More

We had a nice early start this morning. Not. I had to go back to Truro to see the consultant about my knee. Sadly he has told me that i have damaged my maniscus. He is giving me two more week to rest and allow the swelling to go down and the pain the get better. If things are all the same then i have to have either one or both of the following things, an MRI and or seeing a knee surgeon. As a treat we then went over to costa. Weve not had very much time on our own recently out and about so we took the opportunity whilst we can...and it seems costa were mocking.me c; Once we got home, the weather was being great to us so we took the opportunity to let our butterflies that weve grown out into the wild. It was amazing. We held them first and really got to have a nice close look at them...it is something that we will be doing again. 100%. To have seen them go from tiny caterpillars right through to stunning butterflies was fantastic to watch. Youve got to love nature Following this, we picked up Dixie and i drove us to the feild just up the road where we let her off the lead and chucked the ball around the place and gave her a great run around. It was fab to see our little pooch out and about again as ive not been able to do it in ages. Ive also decided that me and my girlfriend havnt had a date daya in FOREVER. So weve arranged it for tomorrow where we aret off to the cinema to watch malificent. I have also completed hat number 79 today. Yay. Ps...my internet is being mega slow so as soon as its come back to the 21st century, i will be adding photos to go with this post. TTFN XXXX

Hehe

What a day...

I thought my migraine had gone. Boy wasnt i mistake. I think i took no nasty headache for granted as tonight it has started coming back.

After dropping my other half off at work, i just came home and completed 7 wedding invitatioms which can now be sent out and ive also knitted 4 more NICU hats. So ive not had to much of a stressful day so i have no idea why my headache has returned.

On picking up my lovely lady, we decided to take Dixie down the camel trail so she can have a splash around in the river...half an hour later and she started shivvering so that was our sign that we needed to get home.

Once home i could finally give my lovely girlfriend her suprise.

3 weeks ago i sent her engagement ring in to be fixee as it snapped on the banding about 3 months ago and we just couldnt afford to get it fixed. So i snuck it out of her purse and decided to do it no matter what.

It took her a while to notice though as i propped it up in the side of a brownie tart and she didnt see it at first...but once she did she was overjoyed. She had tears in her eyes and didnt know what to do with herself.

So pleased that i made her day and she had no idea about it at all.

Also on good news, this last week i lost another 3lb. So i now only have 1 and a half stone to loose and im at my target weight. Go me.

TTFN

XXXX

Im Back

Im aware it has been a few days...but Im going to keep it short.

The last few days have been beyond hectic, stressful and just head hurting for me-literally.

On Thursday night, my other half had told me that both our mums were talking about me on my latest admission to hospital. Aparently the nurse who was looking after me, the respiratory consultant and the ITU consultant were all very worried. Not just because i was deteriorating with my asthma attack, but they were worried i wasnt going to be able to keep battleing on because of my muscle wasting. They said that if i were to have many more attacks like this latest one, the liklihood is i wont pull through. I just dont have the muscle strength. With my phosphate also refusing to pick up, it also means that my muscles arnt contracting in the right way so my vital organs just cant get enough oxygen. Along with this, they were worried that mentally i will keep struggling with everything thats going on so they told our mums not to tell me what they have said. My other half just couldnt keep it on on Thursdag night though. It was eating her up. And i dont blame her for telling me.

During the mddle of the night i had yet another full body allergic reaction but we have no idea what to again which is very annoying.

Friday we had to look after our nephew. His mum had an appointment which was going to be roughly an hour long so we took the pleasure in looking after him. He is such a content little boy and i really cant wait to have my own little family.

On saturday, I needed to get out the house. There was far to much negetivity and it was driving me down so we decided to take Dixie to the beach...bad move. We have now worked out that the salt wter makes Dixie violently ill. Shes done i before but it wasnt untill yesterday i actually clicked. By now though we know the drill and managed to get things under control and by today she was back to her usual self again and we even managed to give her one of the liver cakes that i made her. Dont worry, theu are dog friendly!!

Today weve literally hybernated. Ive had a migrane for the last few days and it just wouldnt shift...untill this afternoon. Praise the lord. Whilsy chilling though, in turn i have managed to finish off all the writing in our wedding invites and ive also managed to knit number 69 of the NICU hats. So im super pleased.

Well, im off to bed now. Ive planed a huge suprise for my loverly lady tomorrow and i need to be both physically and mentally strong (especially as i fell over today trying to pick up one of our rabbits)

TTFN

XXXX

Flipped Around

Everyones entitled to the otherside of the story, the good, the oppsite, the happiness... Well im glad you said yes because today has benn mine and my girlfriends day. Finally. For me, I have knitted 5 more baby hats which make 24 in total and on 4926 more to knit. I have also now raised £110 for AUK and I also managed to get out in my wheelchair for a stroll with my other half and Dixie. But thats not all- my amazing girlfriend has also had great news. Since weve change our diets to being beyond healthy and also stepped up the exercise game, her cholesterol levels have dropped. I was starting to get really worried last year as her level came back at 7.1 which is extremly high and meant she could literally dropped dead from a heart attack or stroke at any point. Last week she had this blood test repeated and her level is now 6.4. Ideally we need it to b at least 5 and even then thats at the higher end of the limits. So we have a little more work to go, but knowing that what we are doing is correct, and that her risk of dyeing from a heart attack has been reduced, we are that little bit happier. Now just to continue our fight with healthiness.I also managed to get my old phone changed over to allow an orange sim to work in it so she also has a nice new smart phone to which shes never had one before. Excitedly as well, the 5 caterpillars that we have been growing for the past 11 days have finally grown into thir chrysilists (please excuse my spelling). We have to leave them 3 more days in their little tub to allow their shells to harder and then we need to trasfer them to their new habitat where we will look after them for 14 days so their wings can strengthen and then we will release them. Being able to help the enviornment gives a sense of happiness in a different form. One you cant explain. Well, I am off to plymouth tomorrow for my lung review. Im praying I can get more treatment. Better control. We will see as only time will tell hey. TTFN XXXX Ps, please keep sharing my just giving page and also fly by with a donation. You would make me so happy. https://www.justgiving.com/Charlie-Hockaday-Williams

Cant Wait

Last night myself and my partner bidded on yet another 3 properties with in Cornwall so that we can get a place of our own. Thats 4 now in total. Im praying so hard that our dreams come true pretty pronto. The reason I say this is because my other half has reduced her happy pills (antidepresents) to one a day because as you know we are trying to start a family and these tablets at a higher dose can cause harm to the unborn child. Annoyingly though, a few things have happened over the last 24 hours to which has made here very pissed off, agitated and angry...she has told me that she has felt low and not know how to control her emotions. The reason for this annoyance is because of her parents. They still remain to treat her and me infact as a child. Not being funny but im 23 and shes nearly 21, were no wgere near children any more so we dont need to be spoken to like shit, we dont need to be asked every five minutes where we are going, what we are doing and why we are doing certain things. We need our independance. We had a great day out at a national trust place this morning where my other half kindly pushed me in my chair, Dixie splashed around in the river and then we had a picnic. We then came home and finished building our rabbit run for the three boys and then ended up spending the rest of the day in our room because in the breif 1 hour of us being amongst her parents they had stressed us out so much that we literally couldnt hack it any more. Dont get me wrong her parents are amazing just like many, but they need to stop treating us like a child. Unfortunatly we are still on the lowest banding for the council housing list so unless we are really lucky it doesnt look like we are going to be getting a place of our own any time soon. Living independently is going to push our money to the very max, but life would be happier, we could be ourselves and we can do what ever we like in our time and on our terms. Fingers crossed it happens soon. In other news, I have knitted another 4 hats today which gives me a grand total of 16. Just another 14 to go and my first NICU box is ready to be sent. Please keep donating for me. The support is very much needed. Asthma needs to have better treatments. Asthma needs a cure. https://www.justgiving.com/Charlie-Hockaday-Williams TTFN XXXX

Perfection

Its weird coming back home. Back to reality.

After taking my lady and my pooch away it has reminded me just how lucky i am. How perfect my partner is. How my life would be so different without her in it.

On wednesday we ran around packing and loading the car and made the journey to paignton. Thankfully we picked the right time to go camping. Right on the heatwave.

After we had finally set up our new home for the next two night we went and explored the site. Admittedly we would recommend it to anyone. It was perfect. A well kept site with amusement barn, shop, cafe, bar and a lifegaurded pool. It was just pure bliss. After exploring the site we then made our way into paignton harbour. we found a lovely dog friendly beach and took Dixie for a paddle...well we tried. Shes not really a huge fan of noisey sea so she kept running away when it got to close to her.

We chuckled when we got back to the site as there was another green vango tent pretty similar to ours next to us...and it turns out they drove the same car as us...and they were gay too...we actually couldnt believe how weird it was.

The next day we had set out to go for a stroll in some woods. it was beautiful. Nicely shaded in areas also which helped us all out. I had promised my lady an ice cream the day before also so on our way back i kept my promise and got her what ever one she liked.

When we got back, admittedly i was exhausted. It was my first time out and about since my recent admission so i was beyond tired and in agony. So keeping to tradition -i fell asleep for a few hours in the afternoon.

Whilst driving to our holiday on wednesday, i had found out that a my lady had never been to brixham and b she had never been crabbing, so i decided that friday as it was our last day i would take her there and help build some great memories.

We had yet more amazing weather and my other half managed to catch two crabs...then drop them so never really got to see what they were like up close haha.

With being by the harbour we had to have fish and chips of course and they were absolutly amazing...couldnt of asked for anything more perfect to eat and of course i had to show my other half the best ice cream shop in brixham...and buy us each one tehe.

Sadly though the fun could last forever and we had to come home...though we stopped via totnes to visit a farm shop that our friend told us about and we purchased so lovely sour dough bread and traditional dandelion and burdock and also a cloudy lemonade.

The farm shop was called riverford farm shop and thet camp site was called whitehill country park for anyone who is interested.

We have all had an amazing time and it was great to get away, be ourselves and actually rest and help recover.

To keep the highs going we had to do something amazig today so...we purchased more baby items and also booked our honeymoon...were off for a 3 day break in a spa...excited!!

TTFN

XXXX

Really!?

For me today has been reasonably ok. Ive literally only been able to get out of bed twice though literally today. On the second occasion i collapsed also which was a gutting blow.

Myself and my partner had a great zebra baby grow arrive today for our future child. Its blinking lush. Yes you may say but your not pregnant, but for us, because we cant work, our theory is if we start buying things gradually over the months, our baby will have everything they need and deserve and can have the best start in life.

I also had my birthday present arrive. My DIY 35mm slr camera.

After just under 2 hours, I had completed the challenge of my big build and it absolutly shattered me...I ended up falling asleep for an hour and a half afterwards just to recover but im pleased with the end result. Now just to get 35mm film.

In other news though my lady has had terrible period pains. Ok i suffer from other sorts of pains but ive been lucky in the sense ive never had period pains. She was in tears and i had no idea what to do to help her other than drug her up on pain releif. She ended up curled up next to me with a hot water bottle and thankfully a few hours later everything had settled down again. God knows what shes going to be like during labour if this was painful for her though ha. Ive gotta try and get my arse out of bed tomorrow though as Dixie has the vets so untill tomorrow... TTFN XXXX

Goals And Challenges

After my shit news yesterday about potentially not being able to have children, I decided to set my self a challenge. Whilst I was in hospital last week, a very good friend of mind suggested I start knitting, it doesnt take much muscle mass to do and certainly doesnt take and lung power, so off I pop to youtube and have so far self taught myself how to make baby hats. I have currently made 2 for mine and my partners future children, I am hust waiting for more wool to arrive in the mail and ill be making my sisters baby a hat and ive also currently made two others of different sizes. These extra two hats are going towards my challenge. My challenge being that im going to make 30 baby hats for every NICU unit in England to which there are 165. So that roughly 4950 little baby hats I have set my self to knit. This for me would be an ace goal to achieve, not only because its keeping me busy but also, I cant do things like donate blood or stem cells any more because of my deterioration in gealrh so doing this will make me feel mentally great about being able to help both the tiny little babies who are poorly and also their families because not many clothes fit such small children. On average at the moment im making one hat a day as it does cause me cramps so I fear it could take me a little while to achieve my challenge, but im sure I will feel fantastic when not only the first box is done but also the 165th box just like I felt great after I made the first hat. I will keep you all up to date with my progress of course. In other news today Ive not been to great. I went down stairs briefly today as we purchased Dixie a paddling pool because she loves water, but that small amount for "doing somethinf" totally exhausted me and ive been asleep all afternoon as a result. In good news though, myself and my partner have been in contact the the local registry office in Bodmin about booking our wedding. They are just sorting a few things put and will be getting back to us. Marriage for us is super important as it means that legalky when we have children, because we are married we are both legally allowed on the birth certificate so both play an equal, fair and legal role withing any future childs life. So, theres a lot to keep you posted with...untill next time... TTFN XXXX