In Recent Weeks!!

Just over two weeks ago I decided I wanted to feel poorly again lung wise and went to the GP to get advice of what to do to try and prevent an increase of steroids and a trip to hospital. After two minuted of sitting my bum in the chair in the Doctors office, I had sats monitor on and she was listening to my chest, within another 2 minutes, I had a nebuliser mask attached to my face and and ambulance had been called. A trip to resus and a five day admission and I was sent home again!! Sadly though I happened to run into an ass of a Doctor whilst there who didnt want to follow my plan from Birmingham and wanted to take matters into his own hands and left me with just hourly nebs. By 3am when the next doctor was coming around to see me, another blood gas was done which showed I was retaining my Co2, fun hey, so the IVs were started!! I also had a run in with the nurse as I wouldnt "wee wee in the potty" lets just say I wasnt happy about being spoken to like a 1 year old and the nurse soon sound out!!

Friday night I was sent home and on Saturday I thought Id be an ass and take the docs for a walk, so by Sunday night I had taken a turn for the worse again and was on my way back to the hospital.

The initial A&E doc was great, followed my plan according to how I presented and got IVs started and had admitted me. 3 hours later the MED REG came along and said I have been discharged two days ago so I dont need to be there again, stopped all my IVs and sent me home. Lets just say my mum was fuming, and took me to the next hospital  by which point I needed even more steroids and IVs. I also had a review by the ITU docs. They also admitted me as I was to poorly to be at home (surprisingly as the last doc said there was nothing wrong with me). During the 8 days thatI was there, I needed 5 days of IV aminophylline and a 4 day trip to ITU, I was least impressed and to be honest totally scared about going to my local hospital for if they send me home again, as if I didnt go to the next nearest hospital, what the heck would have happened to me!?

As you can probably tell, I put in a complaint with PALS about the MED REG at the previous hospital, and so far they have spoken to the initial Doctor who has agreed that I was very poorly and needed to be admitted, and following this the A&E consultant is also be questioned. Once all this has taken place, the MED REG will be pulled in!! No wonder asthmatics are scared to go to hospital when you get treated like this!!

In other notes, back a few years ago, I tried to end everything as im getting annoyed with having no life, no money and slowly loosing all my friends!! Over the last few days, these thoughts have been creeping back upon me and my head keeps telling me to end it again. Im finding it hard to work out whether this is genuinely    me again and just really hacked off with life, and whether it is being back on hi dose pred!! Ive told mum I want to end it but she keeps telling me to be strong and we will get through this, but the problem is, no one else knows what it is like to live my life, no one knows what its like to have to be me for just 24 hours. Yes there are people like me and people see me daily but no one knows what its like to actually be me!!

Im sorry if this maybe a shock to some people out there as I have only very told a couple of people about my past, but I cant keep it in any more, its eating me up and clouding my brain so im hoping that letting it out may be off some help!!

Well, thats me for now!!

TTFN

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