Todays Adventure

Last night I was 100% worried that Dixies body clock wouldnt be able to be adjusted to the time change and I feared she would be awake at 0630. Suprisingly though, she woke up at her usual 0730. Not only was I pleased but I was also mega shocked. Straight after breakfast we took her for a walk. It wasnt all that successful though as my partners mum came with her puppy and Dixie just got to distracted and was running around the feild like mental. Towards the afternoon though, I took her for a walk by herself just to get some call back training in for the day. Every 20 steps I walked, I called her name and gave her a treat (dont worry, the treats are smaller than my little finger nail). She done really well though and I was happy that shes starting to pick up on the call back altogether. Once all our camping washing had finally finished, I decided to sit and chill whilst reading up on more photography stuff. Ive managed to find roughly 5 more projects to keep my busy!! Myself and my partner booked a tabled at pizza hut tonight for the four of us to go out for mothers day. My girlfriends parents have never been to pizza hut before and the mega enjoyed it. Infact we all enjoyed it. There was so much laughing going on which was great as we havnt had that now for a very very long time. I know it wont last long before then next downer but im glad that my girlfriend and her mother managed to have a great day between the two of them. It was lush to see. I thought I done extremly well at pizza hut also as when I felt full, I stopped eating. I didnt overdo things so im hoping on weigh day tomorrow I will have lost weight so keep your fingers crossed. Just before bed we managed to get Dixie in the show to get the sand and camping mud out from her skin and fur as it was really starting to irritate her. The shower, towel and hair dryer no longer scares her anymore though so it makes the whole process a little less stressful. Though it clearly made her tired as shes now snuggled up next to me in bed dozed to the world. Its been yet another very bust day for me. Cant wait to have a day where I can just sit and relax again as im getting beyond exhausted. TTFN XXXX

Mothers Day

After a bit of an upraw last September with my mum, a day after I had surgery, I move out and moved in with my girlfriend. It was all a rush, I wasnt mentally prepared or physically prepared come to think of it. Dont get me wrong, I love my girlfriend more than anything, but when you have my disabilities and illness I wanted to get hospital care sorted out first etc and move in gradual. I guess it wasnt meant to be. Sadly, moments with my mum now are just as rare as what they were when I moved out the first time when I was 17. I absolutly hate this, its not how a mother and daughter relationship should be. Fir a brief time when I moved back in with mum, our relationship was fantastic. We went shopping, out for coffee and out for random drives and walks. This was only after I was on the brink of death following and asthma attack which pit me on a ventilator. My mum very rarly rings me up either unless its when she wants something. Most of this bad bonding started when I told her I was gay. She seemed gutted and never liked my girlfriend. She would say otherwise, but if you were to see how she treats me when I have my partner around her to how she treats my dister when she has her boyfriend, you would see the difference. All this though has made me think today about how much of a different mum I want to be to our children. I want them to grow up knowing they can come to us no matter what, and feel u dlessly loved. I do miss my mum, and I love her masses, but today with not being with her, it has really hit home. I wish I lived closer so that I can pop round with her card and present rather than having to send it her in the post. I also just wish we simply spoke more than once in a blue moon. I read all these stories of mums wishing their daughters were still alive and vice versa, and I dont want that to happen. I know eventually it will, but im only 23, I dont want to grow up wishing things could be different. Well, ive said happy mothers day to mum twice today, and made it clear with how much I love her. I guess I cant do any more than that. To all the other yummy mummies out there, happy mothers day to you too!! TTFN XXXX