Beyond The Imaginable

Just to warn you this post will be as scatty as they come.

Firstly, randomness; ever seen a cow nebuliser machine, i have and thanks to my addiction to ebay i am now the proud owner of a new cow shaped nebuliser machine that i have named Daisy. She lives next to my seat in the living room so i now no longer need to have to walk backwards and forwards to the bedroom just to have a neb

Secondly, joy and excitment; as you are all aware, we had a sperm donor who was helping us loads to try and have a child, sadly though the funds for travelling back and forth from Cornwall to Dorset was coming near to the end, and the donor had decided the only day he could do to help us was a Monday, which is near on impossible to have every month when you aim to go on your highest fertility peak, so we began the hunt for a new donor, who we have found. Or shall i say they found us. They libe in Plymouth so far closer and he seems very nice. Been chatting to him on facebook and he has a nice manner about him and hes agreed to help us as he feels we will be fantastic parents.

Thirdly, anger; the council tried to pull a fast one on us again, but believe me they are messing with the wrong person. Yesterday i had rang them to add a new local connection to our file. When i logged in last night we found out that our account had been closed and we needed to reapply. I done this to be on the safe side and today i contacted them to ask them what they were playing at. Their answer then was that because we had moved address we had a change in situation and that our banding would drop. Well, i asnt going to let it as i told them this address is an emeergency home given by them because we are homeless, 3 emails later full of massive comments of how inappropriate this flat is and how they are screwing us around and the higher ranking team contacted me back. Suprise suprise, they wont now change our banding. We will remain at a band B. Good!!

Finally, familied; on wednesday i mentioned to my other half that maybe she needed to arrange a meet up in a nuteral place for her and her sister to talk as its getting rediculous and sometime in the future they will need each other and they would want eachother in their lives. It seems to have gone well from what i can gather, just my other half is upset that not only will her sister still not come to the wedding, but she said we will look silly because were not wearing wedding dressing. She also said that my other half should get a job and that she shouldnt be looking after me and to top it off she said its stupid us having a child when we cant afford it. Thankfully my other half had said that actually infact us moving out on our own has made us better off with money. It soo shut her up.

Well i best be back to my knitting, got a fair fetw amount of nicu hats that still need making

TTFN

Xxxx

Mothers Day

After a bit of an upraw last September with my mum, a day after I had surgery, I move out and moved in with my girlfriend. It was all a rush, I wasnt mentally prepared or physically prepared come to think of it. Dont get me wrong, I love my girlfriend more than anything, but when you have my disabilities and illness I wanted to get hospital care sorted out first etc and move in gradual. I guess it wasnt meant to be. Sadly, moments with my mum now are just as rare as what they were when I moved out the first time when I was 17. I absolutly hate this, its not how a mother and daughter relationship should be. Fir a brief time when I moved back in with mum, our relationship was fantastic. We went shopping, out for coffee and out for random drives and walks. This was only after I was on the brink of death following and asthma attack which pit me on a ventilator. My mum very rarly rings me up either unless its when she wants something. Most of this bad bonding started when I told her I was gay. She seemed gutted and never liked my girlfriend. She would say otherwise, but if you were to see how she treats me when I have my partner around her to how she treats my dister when she has her boyfriend, you would see the difference. All this though has made me think today about how much of a different mum I want to be to our children. I want them to grow up knowing they can come to us no matter what, and feel u dlessly loved. I do miss my mum, and I love her masses, but today with not being with her, it has really hit home. I wish I lived closer so that I can pop round with her card and present rather than having to send it her in the post. I also just wish we simply spoke more than once in a blue moon. I read all these stories of mums wishing their daughters were still alive and vice versa, and I dont want that to happen. I know eventually it will, but im only 23, I dont want to grow up wishing things could be different. Well, ive said happy mothers day to mum twice today, and made it clear with how much I love her. I guess I cant do any more than that. To all the other yummy mummies out there, happy mothers day to you too!! TTFN XXXX