Mixed Emotions.

This week has literally been all over the place for me and my wife but as usual, we are getting through it. First off, our donor has been helping us. We found a new donor to help us have a child. He lives in Cambridge and has a girlfriend but sadly she has a fatal geart condition so could never carry a child. He doesnt want to be involved physically but just wants updates. We are happy with that and at the end if the day, we have stated that for us to choose whether our child knows their father before they are even born is completly unfair. We are choosing their life, yet they should choose their path. So far we have had three donations and fingers crossed a few more as the week goes by. The next bit of craziness is that we had to find another foster family for Dixie because after we have her for two weeks over christmas, her currently family could no longer have her. We found two lovely people around the corner from us, but sadly on Monday, they to got made homeless by the council so it all fell through This week though, I have said some weird stuff to my wife. Firstly being that I told her I wasnt renewing our post redirection for her mums address as I have a really funny feeling we are going to get offered our permenant home. Then when the foster situation fell through I then said to my wife (this being a different day) im not going to put out a new add for a foster family for her as I have a funny feeling we are bringing her back to live with us in January. Today, at 11:15 am I got a phone call. Its the council. We have been allocated a house. We are viewing it tomorrow at 10:30 am and if it is suitable, we will get the keys by monday hopefully. Now come on, these weirdfeeling I had, something cant be right there surly. How did I know!? In other positive news, I had a big medical supplys delivery today... and our first home visit assessment to see if we can cope doing my infusions at home. Guess what, we aced that too. And again she went on about how amazed at how fast we have picked up on this and that we have been the fastest out of the 70 patients on her clinic list. She also caught eye of all my knitting and was amazed and impressed with that too. So, all in all so far this week has been fantastic. Can you all keep your fingers crossed for the new home and positive tests for next week. In the mean time, I am fighting yet more issues with my lungs. Sky high temp, low sats and peak flow and a wheezy chest. Perfect. Life goes on though. TTFN XXXX

A Positive End To The Week

Im starting off with Tuesday because its quick and breif and doesnt really match the title. As you know, we have now been without our princess Dixie for five weeks and its making us beyond sad. For one we really wanted her at our wedding next Thursday that it would be a miracle to have had her back. So instead, I had found on of the top tattoo studies in England and pleaded with them with our story and the managed to have a cancellation on Tuesday and we got it. I can now say that both me and the other half are the proud owners of a new tattoo and it freaking killed. We have it in the same spot, on our left hand side on our ribs parallel to our hearts. Its a unique tattoo that noone else will ever have because its Dixies name and her exact paw print. I bruised mega bad and it is still heali g but here is a picture 3 hours after we had it do.

Wednesday we were super lazy and couldnt be bothered yo do anything majorly important so chilled and watched tv,oh and my friend set me a challenge to knit her son some mittens, and I gave to admit, these too are amazing.

On Thursday I drove us both up to my mums to have a pre wedding hen meal type thingy. We also picked up my sister along the way and of course my ickle nephew who has and is growing up far to fast. Of course I had lots and lots of cuddles and cant wait to see him again next week for the wedding. I really loved being with the three main ladies of my life. Our relationships are getting far better and we literally get on amazingly. I couldnt wish for a better family. To top of the day, to be even more amazing, my sister asked if I would be my bephews hod mummy, to which of course I said yes. Wasnt refusing that task. Today was the day for the council lady to come around because our temporary flat has started to grow mould. We all know irs down to a build up of condensation but sadly this shit of a flat has night storage heaters so it will alwas have these issues. I have purchased today an electric heater to see if itll help keep our electric down but also hrlp us out. We also learnt today that the council has yet again failed us. Our homeless officer rang the department and learnt that despite having higher rate dla, I hadnt been flagged up as an even more urgent priority for having a fit, safe and stable home. Thankfully this has now been done and should help us move quicker. Bloody hope its soon. Five days till the wedding aahh TTFN XXXX

Beyond The Imaginable

Just to warn you this post will be as scatty as they come.

Firstly, randomness; ever seen a cow nebuliser machine, i have and thanks to my addiction to ebay i am now the proud owner of a new cow shaped nebuliser machine that i have named Daisy. She lives next to my seat in the living room so i now no longer need to have to walk backwards and forwards to the bedroom just to have a neb

Secondly, joy and excitment; as you are all aware, we had a sperm donor who was helping us loads to try and have a child, sadly though the funds for travelling back and forth from Cornwall to Dorset was coming near to the end, and the donor had decided the only day he could do to help us was a Monday, which is near on impossible to have every month when you aim to go on your highest fertility peak, so we began the hunt for a new donor, who we have found. Or shall i say they found us. They libe in Plymouth so far closer and he seems very nice. Been chatting to him on facebook and he has a nice manner about him and hes agreed to help us as he feels we will be fantastic parents.

Thirdly, anger; the council tried to pull a fast one on us again, but believe me they are messing with the wrong person. Yesterday i had rang them to add a new local connection to our file. When i logged in last night we found out that our account had been closed and we needed to reapply. I done this to be on the safe side and today i contacted them to ask them what they were playing at. Their answer then was that because we had moved address we had a change in situation and that our banding would drop. Well, i asnt going to let it as i told them this address is an emeergency home given by them because we are homeless, 3 emails later full of massive comments of how inappropriate this flat is and how they are screwing us around and the higher ranking team contacted me back. Suprise suprise, they wont now change our banding. We will remain at a band B. Good!!

Finally, familied; on wednesday i mentioned to my other half that maybe she needed to arrange a meet up in a nuteral place for her and her sister to talk as its getting rediculous and sometime in the future they will need each other and they would want eachother in their lives. It seems to have gone well from what i can gather, just my other half is upset that not only will her sister still not come to the wedding, but she said we will look silly because were not wearing wedding dressing. She also said that my other half should get a job and that she shouldnt be looking after me and to top it off she said its stupid us having a child when we cant afford it. Thankfully my other half had said that actually infact us moving out on our own has made us better off with money. It soo shut her up.

Well i best be back to my knitting, got a fair fetw amount of nicu hats that still need making

TTFN

Xxxx

Mixed

Now that ive got internet back for a little while and can catch up on lifes happenigs over the last 5 days i figured i would update u all.

On Saturday, our friends came over to help mover our rabbits and their homes over to the new flat. First stop tho was lidl as we needed a much. After all this i was so tired i could barely do anything so my job was to look after their son. Figured it was good enough and not to intense as i was beyond tired.

On sunday we had a very early start. This was the day we sadly had to say goodbye to Dixie as she was off ot her foster mum. To whom is absolutly lovely and has kept us updated daily. Sadly dixie has cired on the evenings and her foster mum aparently went and slept on the sofa with her. Feel so bad for her having to do that.

Amongst this on Sunday, we went via my sister to have snuggles with the nephew and to give him hes halloween outfit and also went via mums for a roast mmmm good stuff.

We had to go to the old house on sunday evening when we finally got back to cornwall to fill the last few bits of or kit and take them over to the flat. I think we got to sleep at 1am and had to be up by 730 as we had to go via the house on the way to my hospital appointment.

My appointment was with regards to the lump in my mouth. Aparently it is very similar to the one i had on my lip last christmas but much bigger. For healthy people they would be out under a general and have the whole gland taken out but because i stop breathing with generals hes going to try a different version. He is putting local in my mouth and taking off the top layer of my lump in the hope itll cause it to stop growing and even shrink. This is happening on the 22nd of this month. sadly though if this doesnt work ive no choice but to be put under.

With regards to the council we have finally been put up to a band be as they have decied weare and urgent priority to needing a home. Perfect

For now though we are settled in the flat and a lot happier than we were in the house.

im offski now though ready for pride of britain.

TTFN

XXXX

All Getting Too Much

This weekend is that last weekend we have in this home and to be honest I bloody glad.

I really feel sorry for my girlfriend, shes never lived in a home without her parents and theyve not given a flying fuck. Theyve not cared at all these last few weeks for how she feels. Bearing in mind she suffers severly with anxiety and depression.

As of today, her parents have left the house. Though they will be back as theyve left lots of shit behind. So we are here on our own untill Sunday.

Weve only had one friend who has helped us A LOT and we cant thank them enough. Whats really pissed me off is that initialy my girlfriends parents said that they will fire a van and move our stuff and their stuff. Then suddenly today they rocked up with a van and we werent allowed to put any stuff on it so im blinking glad that over the last week we have slowly been taking stuff over to our new flat.

Tonight they came back quickly to get something and then left whilst shouting bye from the bottom of the stairs. It wasnt a nice goodbye with any effection for my girlfriend at all and from past experiences at my end, when you leave tje family home its extremly upsetting and yet her parents actually i re phrase that, NONE of her family have even bothered to ask her how she is. I think its disgusting and its completly uncalled for.

Till this day aswell they are still treating us like we are five stating that we cant fill some holes in the wall from where we took our stuff down...bearing in mine 10 mo ths ago we decorate this room and had to fill in holes then...and if they think we are still children, you would think they would ask their own daughter how shes coping but no!

On a lighter note, yesterday we had our homeless officer contact us to give us an update. My doctors, ive no idea which one out of them all have finally decided to send in a medical report and the housing team have stated that we are a urgenty priority to be placed into a long term home and we have been bumped up to a B band so fingers crossed not long and we shall have our own home officially.

On a safer not though, weve only 2 more nights and one long day left with Dixie. I was sorting her stuff out earlier ready to go to the foster home abd my hesrt was breaking. I hate the fact that my girlfriends parents are being so nasty as to not have her meaning we have to put her in a home 3 hours away from us. Im gutted. I mean come on, you wouldnt purposly give up your child because of a housing situatio  so why are we being forced to give up our puppy. I hate it. Just got to pray that we get our permenant home pretty bloody soon.

Because my girlfriend is clearly breaking down, ive done a little suprise for her. Ive made a card on moonpig to welcome her to her new home with me and ive also ordered some personalised cup coasters with 4 pictures on. One big one of us 2 and the  3 little ones of Dixie so hopefully thatll cheer her up.

For now though im off as im wasting precious time with Dixie

TTFN

XXXX

Happiness

Just flying by to say

WEVE GOT A HOME!!!!!!!!!!

Ok its only a temporary emergency accomadation but it means that we wont be homeless by the 6th October as weve been given the keys today

Happy

Downside, we cant bring our puppy with us to this temporary place so were trying to get her fostered untill we can have her back.

Sad

TTFN

XXXX

Bloody Council

Today was the day that i was getting arsy with the council if they hadnt started responding to me with answers about whats happening with us with regards to being rehomes.

By about 11am i had a phone, when they said it was the council i was think; great about bloody time...boy wasnt i mistaken. It was the council saying that they wont accept the paperwork that got sent to them last week by the homeless team. As always i questioned why and blinking heck it made me boil and they certainly knew about it. The reason the wont accept it is because we "just have asthma and just have depression" so it doesnt make us a priority and they more than likely wont get us a home by the 6th of October. By this point i was near on screaming down the phone asking if there was medical professionals on the panel, and guess what, there isnt. Finding out this then made me scream at her about how would they know what my BRITTLE asthma was like and what my SEVERE PTSD and my other halfs SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY was like. I asked her if she was one of the panels members to which she said yes, so my next question was, have u ever heard of proximal myopathy and know what it does...and guess what, her answer was no. So i told her we should not all be tarred with the same brush, for one BRITTLE asthma is nowhere near anything like WORK RELATED asthma.

So all in all, myself and my girlfriend wont be getting a home by the 6th October and despite the fact im on higher rate DLA for both componants and the support section of ESA,  it means nothing because our illnessesare basic.

We then thought find, screw you council will go private...but wait...we cant. Because we dont work, wet need a guarantor and we dont have one.

All in alm we are fucked!!!!!!!!!!!

TTFN

XXXX

Small Update

Today I was meant to be going for a hospital appointment for my hip. Sadly though it didnt happen. The consultant rang me to say that not all the CT scan results had got back to him so he didnt want to drag me all the way out there to only give me half the information. So i was pleased they rung just annoyed were nine the wise for whats going on.

The lump in my mouth has become rediculously large. Its now bigger than a golf ball and i can barely eat anything tyat cant be sucked or anything that not liquid. Have to wait another 2 weeks before i even get reviewed let alone operated on.

With regards to the housing situation, well thats stull just as bollocks. Weve heard no more, still not been increased with the banding. My partners parents are continuing to be nasty towards us which is causing my lungs to be shit. Woke up this morning and my sats were 93 and i had so much pain in my lungs...

Lastly, my friend. Things arnt to good at all. She did end up needing ECMO because she was so poorly and they then took her down gor open heart surgery the next day. Things are not good though. Theres lots of complications going on and although she got off the ventilator yesterday, shes had to go back onto it todag and shes starting to deteriorate again. Hate that so many of my friends r suffering because of crap health.

TTFN

XXXX

Quick Update

Ok in short, im still very much depressed, if not worse, im still packing and we still have no where to live in 2.5 weeks.

To top things off, out middly rabbit has now come down with a respiratory infection so hes now onnantibiotics twice a day. Something we really didnt need right now.

There has been progress though, tomorrow at 2pm we are having an interview with the homeless team. We blinking hope that they can actually do something for us. So far they seem great though. Today after the appointment was made they faxed my GP asking for a full report about my health which sounds positive though annoyingly theyve not received the update from immunology about my new treatment which we really could of done with. Though ive left the secretary a message and i just pray they can help us out also.

TTFN

XXXX

Emotions Running High

Two different ends of the spectrum it turned out to be yesterday.

With all the recent news with us now having to move by the 6th October we were getting to the point we needed as much help as possible. Last friday we got assigned a housing officer who had then rang me on Monday to talk things through. We were supposed to receive a huge yellow form to fill out to be able to get us the support for a home. This hadnt arrived so my and my other half woke up super early yesterday and got to the council house by 9am. Doing this ensured there would be no other people waiting in front of us. We also met our housing officer who is amazing. Compared to many other people within the council she really does care and want to help. She helped us fill in all the paperwork, had been looking online to see f there was a private bungalow or flat we can have for now and they would pay the deposite (sadly there are none) and then she said she was off to speak to the homeless team and also increase our banding on the council list. Although this doesnt make me happy as we still have no home, its reasuring to know that we are being helped the best way possible.

Following all this, we then had to drive up to Taunton to pick up my sister, brother in law and baby nephew and then we had to drive over to my mum in Bridgwater.
Our nan was there which was great as weve not seen her in a little while as she lives in Manchester and of course this was the first time to which my nan met both my girlfriend and our baby nephew (her great grandson). The day was amazing. Was such a fantastic experience to be in a room with 4 generations. Was smiling the whole way home.

Of course though im worried about my mum. She has become very poorly with worry about both mine and my girlfriends health and home situation and of course no matter what i say, untill we have a place to go to, she will keep stressing about the sotuation.
On top of this, my mum had to go to the doctors today as she was a little concerened. It turbs out she has a 2cm lump having grown in her breast so shes now been refered for urgery examination, treatment, scanes and biopsies.

Nothing ever runs smoothly in life

TTFN

XXXX

New Adventure But Yet More Stress

What a friggin hell bound few days.

Spoke to our housing officer yesterday who has asked us to get a letter from our mother in law stating we will be homeless by October 6th. 8 hours after i had asked for this letter, it still didnt get wrote so as  you can tell i was pissed. My father in laws answer was well they arnt going there till wednesday so theres no rush. They finally done it at 10pm last night and asked if it was good enough so my partner said yes. Nothing more or less came from her mouth yet her mouth still insisted on saying "oh well dont sound to enthusiastic by it then". I mean come on, are you for real, this is an official bit of black and white paper saying that in less than 4 weeks me and my girlfriend have no home.

On top of all this, our housing officer has stated that they should have given us more notice, what theyve done by leaving it this late is complete unfair...but to be honest, both u and i knew that.

We may have to temporarily get rid of Dixie also which we are gutted about and thats basically because 95% of temporary accomidation doesnt allow animals.

On a semi good note, i had another hospital appointment today with regards to my lungs and immune system. Not sure if you remember, but 3 months ago i had bloods taken, then 6 weeks post that i had an injection and then another set of bloods to see if the injection work. As i had another 3 infections i knew in my heart it didnt work. Aparently my first set of bloods showed my immunoglobbins to be at 38 (these are the bits that fight off colds and infections). Once i had the injection my level should have atleast trippled to 114...mine went up by 4. Yes FOUR. My level was a grand total of 42. perfect. So for some unknown reason my immune system doesnt want to function and even the flu and pneumonia injections i get every year, my body seems to be resistant to which explains why ive still had flu and still had a stupid amount of infections within the last year alone. So now i guess your wondering whats happens about this. Well, u know these amazing people who give blood (my girlfriend and a very good pen friend L(u know who u r)) the blood they donte get divided into three parts, the red stuff to aneamic people, the clear stuff (plasma) to people with low platlet count and the straw coloured stuff to people like me. This is their immunoglobbins so essentially its their immune system. Myself and my other half have chosen to do the treatment at home for atleast once a week for the next year. We will be taught how to administer it through a needle in my tummy and two syringe drivers. I will be gettong 2 very large boxes of fluid donations (yuk) delivered to me to make me better.

But heres the sucky bit, because of our housing situation, we have to do the first 3 months at hospital. Purly because if we got put in a hostel, for one we cant have the drugs delivered there and two if andrug addict sees ive got needles we are open to being attacked. So yet another shit pain in therear we have to deal with.

Well for now. Life goes on and i have to be extremly greatful that not only go i have my wife to be being enthusiastic to help me administer my immunoglobbins but also i have to be extremely greatful for the amazing people that give blood. Without them my weird immune system would kill me!!

TTFN
XXXX

Its Official

We had the council man come around at 10am as planned today to check over out current home...during this meeting my partners parents had to decide on whether they wanted to take the bungalow they had been offered. Up untill the moment the council man her parents were still not convinced they wanted to move...and then once he left, they came up and told us they are moving into the bungalow. This now means that myself and my partner have to be out of our current home with in 4 weeks.

We r then officially homless.

Were going to start packing because either way we have to go.

Ive so many emotions right now. Im also scared for my health.

TTFN

XXXX

Still ... Blurgh

Soooooo Things are still crap here. The council have stated they wont help us any sooner untill we are actually homeless because there are a total of 28000 people that need homing and aparently we arnt a priority. Something isnt right here. Not only are we not being helped whilst we have being mentally abused but my health needs dont help us for anything. Not only this but because of my vunerability, according to the charty shelter, were meant to be priority but we arnt we just dont get it. On top of this, i woke up this morning dripping wet but freezing and and giess what my temperature was 38.1 and my peak flow is 280 post neb. Gp says ive got another infection so higher dose steroids and more antibiotics And lastly todah for shit news...the lump that started in my mouth under my tongue over the weekend is now about the size of a golf ball and the dental hospital who i was under last december for the lump on my lip for some reason wont give me an appointment Im so worried as ive had 2 tumors in my body now and it looks like this is a 3rd. Im worried that this lump could be the big c...know idea where i go from here if they wont get me an appointment in the dental hospital. On a good note though, i have the CT scan for my hips last night and will get the results on the 22nd I leave u with the yummy picture of my lump.yum.

TTFN XXXX

Bite The Bullet

Ever getting the feeling that you have bit your tongue for three months now and when someone pisses you off over something so pathetic and trivial you just flip...well today I did.

Yesterday my partners mum was pathetic enough to moan that there was cake on the kettle and the cans had to be crushed becasue there was too many and then straight after passed a comment stating itll more than likely be her to do it as no one else round here does anything. I held my tongue with this as my lungs were really struggling.

BUT

Today when we went and put our bedding in the washing machine and we got told we were stupid for overloading the machine i had just about had enough and i flipped.

Indeed i said a lot but when your girlfriend is being made to feel like shes five, treated like shit by all her siblings and her parents, gets shouted at everytime she leaves the bedroom etc etc i could go on but my blog would be boring, all because weve not invited them to our god damn ceremony, i decided enough was enough. I dont remember exactly what i said but all i know is i mentioned something about treating my girlfriend the way the 2 blue eyes siblings were treated. Also they need to respect her like shes and adult and stop being such a bitch. Also i mentioned the stress that they are causing me was making me extremly poorly and my lungs really cant take it...

Although a lot more was said, i will stop there as on this last point, you may be just as shocked about the response i had with regards to my health:

"I dont give a shit about your health, get out of my house, your lucky i even allowed you to move in here"

Well that has hit the nail on the head. It proved my suspicions that they dont and have never liked me. They dont care that what they are doing to me could kill me and all in all they are selfish nasty pieces of work.

I and the love of my life are off to both citizens advice and hopfully the council tomorrow to state we need a home NOW.

The council bit may be difficult as 2 hours after our argument, we get told by the parents that if we went to the council theh would tell them they didnt kick us out, we walked out.

I mean not being funny, if you want us gone and have told us to go, why would you be so nasty as to say we caused it ourselves...hang on, wait, i do know: CONTROLL!! They currently have the upper hand yet again.

I wanted to cry today as they told me im lazy, speend to much time in the bedroom and do nothing around the housem

I cant physically stand at the sink doing dishes. Im in agony with my hip and cant sit downstairs as the sofa isnt supportive enough for me and their dog constantly keeps running into my legs. I also cant do the cleaning because all the products they have, have bleach in which causes me to have an asthma attack.

I feel hopless and shit. Talk about knocking me that little hit further in the ground for being a waste of a body in society!!

TTFN

XXXX

Frustraition

Today has been the highs of bollocks.

Starting with...going swimming. Figured it would be great to start the day with exercise, that was untill i got to the pool and had a huge allergic reaction as they had put far to much chlorine in the pool.

After that, we get home to find the post man had been abd instantly from the envelope i knew it was the decision for our welfare appeal. They wont grant us a 2nd bedroom despite all our reasonings behind needing it for me and they wont increase our banding as they dont feel that tje mental abuse that we are getting is bad enough to need to move out quicker. They also dont feel i need to be closer to a hospital and they also dont feel that we are isolated within the countryside that doesnt even have a village shop.

Following all this, tonight we have a message from my other half saying that they wont be coming to the wedding despite her being made to go to theirs. their excuse is having a meal at 1730 is to late for them to be out for their son who would be 11 months. Its a joke, all this shit within our house is because we didnt originally invite people to the wedding yet the bit they have been invited to they dont want to fucking come to.

Im feel like shit and just want to cry.

Should have done wat my girlfriend had originally said, just take our two best friends to the ceremony and fuck everyone else as at the moment no one seems to give a damn about how we feel!!

TTFN

XXXX

Uncertainty

Its been a few chilled days here in our house hold as weve had a a bit of a rough time health wise for me and weve had a lot of paperwork to fill in.

With regards to health, since Alton towers ive had an infection *suprise suprise*. Sky high temperatures, chest flaring, sats and peak flow down. So i went to the doctors last week to catch it early, steroids went straight up and i got put on strong course of doxy for antibiotice. I done a sputum sample to catch which bug it was and although i got told i just know its a type of pneumonia again. Today i woke up gasping to breathe and sats were back to 93%. I dropped my steroids on Monday as it had been 7 days and i didnt want them high again but with an emergency visit to the gp again today they put them back up for a further 7 days and given me amoxicillin and another course of doxy so fingers crossed i start feeling better again soon. Ill do another sputum sample as sokn as my airways are open enough to cough a reasonable amount up.

With regards to paperwork, since my partner had the carers service team out for her last week, weve filled in a form to apply for another grant to be able to have holidays or hobbies whilst im in the state i am. So fingers crossed we can get this.

Weve also had the paper work through from the council for a welfare assessment. It was 4 pages long and i also sent in an addition a4 piece of paper of extra evidence as they didnt provide enough space...talking of rubbish space, they asked for a list of my nedication but only gave one line...an i had to provide another piece of a4 paper filled from top to bottom with my drugs...think they will have learnt their lesson there!!

Well, tomorrow we are going to try and venture out to Liskeard to meet onet of our very good friends and their son. I wanted to get some more fluffy wool for a personal project im knitting and we decided to meet up with them too. Ive warned them i have an infection especially as her sokn is only 11 months so to be nice i will be wearing a mask so that heres no risk of me passing on my pneumonia!!

Aside from all that paperwork, i have yet another form to fill out for a grant through the charity called the muscular dystrophy campaign. I had a re referal done with regards to my self propelling wheelchair but sadly i dont tick all the boxes to get any form of electricalness for my current chair so theyve put me through to the charity. I just need an assessment and letter wrote on headed paper saying i would be a suitable candidate to be given a grant to and i can fill in the rest of the form. Really praying i can do this by the end of july as their next meeting is augst 8th.

Well, fingers crossed i can get out tomorrow and i get my assessment.

TTFN

Cant Wait

Last night myself and my partner bidded on yet another 3 properties with in Cornwall so that we can get a place of our own. Thats 4 now in total. Im praying so hard that our dreams come true pretty pronto. The reason I say this is because my other half has reduced her happy pills (antidepresents) to one a day because as you know we are trying to start a family and these tablets at a higher dose can cause harm to the unborn child. Annoyingly though, a few things have happened over the last 24 hours to which has made here very pissed off, agitated and angry...she has told me that she has felt low and not know how to control her emotions. The reason for this annoyance is because of her parents. They still remain to treat her and me infact as a child. Not being funny but im 23 and shes nearly 21, were no wgere near children any more so we dont need to be spoken to like shit, we dont need to be asked every five minutes where we are going, what we are doing and why we are doing certain things. We need our independance. We had a great day out at a national trust place this morning where my other half kindly pushed me in my chair, Dixie splashed around in the river and then we had a picnic. We then came home and finished building our rabbit run for the three boys and then ended up spending the rest of the day in our room because in the breif 1 hour of us being amongst her parents they had stressed us out so much that we literally couldnt hack it any more. Dont get me wrong her parents are amazing just like many, but they need to stop treating us like a child. Unfortunatly we are still on the lowest banding for the council housing list so unless we are really lucky it doesnt look like we are going to be getting a place of our own any time soon. Living independently is going to push our money to the very max, but life would be happier, we could be ourselves and we can do what ever we like in our time and on our terms. Fingers crossed it happens soon. In other news, I have knitted another 4 hats today which gives me a grand total of 16. Just another 14 to go and my first NICU box is ready to be sent. Please keep donating for me. The support is very much needed. Asthma needs to have better treatments. Asthma needs a cure. https://www.justgiving.com/Charlie-Hockaday-Williams TTFN XXXX

Happy But Frustration

Ok ok so the main part of the day has been fantastic I took Dixie to the camel trail whilst my other half was at her fitness class and she blinking loved it. Running up and down, and then of course we found a river. She was straight in. Shes such a water puppy, its great to see. With the weather being so great and her amazing reaction with the weather, weve decided that tomorrow we are off to Par beach. Fingers crossed shell remember the beach and continue to love the water. A medical update: I had my clinical psychologist from Birmingham ring me today to check up on my local care and to see how I was coping with my severe PTSD. I had to explain to her that the local care has infact failed. Ive had no follow up so ive been trying to keep coping on my own. Lets just say shes not impressed at all. In other medical news, my lungs have remained cruddy, sats still dropping and needing lots of salbutamol. Im still subconsciously ignoring it though as I want to live my life. Im not giving into my asthma. I refuse. In complete other situations (the other half of my title), im getting really upset and frustrated with my mother in law. Shes picking fault with everything we are doing and constantly causing arguments. Its driving me insane. I dont feel like a 23 year old anymore. I feel as though im 10 again, living with my mum constantly being dictated to. Im pretty sure it shouldnt happen. Ok granted I ignor all the arguing between my partner and her mum untill it involves me but with how my mental health is its driving me further down. I reay have no idea what to do. I feel the only solution is to move out but untill theres something withing the council we cant. Its making me feel crap!! I have a huge headache now so im off to sleep now. TTFN XXXX

Why Cant One Day Be Simple!?

With an intentional early rise this morning, who knew that the day could turn out so god damn shit!! First off, we were intending on going swimming, but both my other half and her dad had to go to the doctors. My lady has been refered to someone a little more specialist to help out with a new problem that shes got (I say new, but weve been back and forth to the GP so many times over the last year, but theyve only just decided they cant control things any more). Sadly though, with her pops, I ended up having to drive him to hospital on the GPs orders. Hes had an increase in his shortness of breath over the last two days that his inhaler wasnt sorting and was getting a lot of chest pain. An update on him as of an hour ago after an xray, ecg and blood work, he may have a possible small PE. As a result, he is being kept in overnight just incase. I hope its nothing to bad, but on the other hand, maybe this could be a wake up call for my other halfs parents crappy diets and lack of exercise. But, will update you more on what is going on when we know more. I have to go pick up my mother in law who is currently still at hospital, im just hoping its pretty darn soon as im normally in bed by now. The other shit oart of today is that we had the council man come around today after he refused to put in a stair lift for me two which two medical professions told him I need and boy didnt I have yet another go at him. On a good note though, we are now getting a stair lift. On a bad note, hes only doing this for the mean time because he is basically kicking the four of us out. As aparently there are no homes in cornwall with two large double bedrooms either, me and my other half now need to venture on our own. Weve been told we have to sign up to home choice and start bidfing on properties. The council man also told us that they cant help us out anymore financially (because we told him were struggli.g to live off the parents on our income of benefits), he then also told us that the homes come unfurnished and that he also cant help us there either ( which im pissed about as ive just sold all my storage kit to which held my first flats living stuff. We are well and truly screwed. I went straight upstairs and just cried. We cant afford to live on our own, and the chance of me now getting a home that is suitable for my needs is zero to none. The council man ill just add said that if my other halfs parents got a house first, we would have to leave at the same time whether we had a home or not. So this twat is willing to make an ill and disabled person homeless. What the heck is the world come to. More stress to add to my life. I just want one day where I xan sit, chill and be my self. When do you think that may be!? TTFN XXXX