The Joys Of An Asthmatics Life

Ventolin, salbutamol, puffer, inhaler, reliever. Recognise these words!? Im sure you have!! These are just what asthmatics use because they get out of breath right!? Overweight and dont exercise so use their "puffer" and carry on as if life never stopped. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blinking heck well I have a shock for you. If you think that this is asthma defined you need to spend a day in my shoes, actually scrap that, ill give you the morning or the afternoon, you pick as you wouldnt cope a day. Asthma is not a few puffs of the blue and carry on where you left off. My life has been destroyed by asthma. My asthma is very different and suprisingly not many people have it which is why its not as well known. I have severe brittle asthma. I could be sat watching telly and then within a split second my lungs could decide that actually they didnt like that cold air that ive now started breathing in because of the winter months. Within that split second my oxygen levels will plummet, my co2 levels will rise to dangerous levels, I will become exhausted, tired, confused, SCARED. My life is hanging in the balance once again. I need drugs wuick. Quicker than quick infact. I need an ambulance, shit wheres the phone, shit I cant talk. Phew my girlfriend has walked into the room, 999 "ambulance"...amazing paramedics come within minutes because ive an emergency flag on my address alerting them of my asthma. They put a needle in my veins, they push drugs into my blood stream, they put and oxygen mask on my face with more nebulisers. The get me into the back of the ambulance, hook me up to all the monitors, the pre call the emergency room, blue lights go on, sirens blaring, 90mph down the dual carriageway, arrive in resus, consultant;nurses;junior doctors;itu team all waiting form my arrive, fuck where they taking my girlfriend please dont leave me on my own, doctors listen to my chest, its silent and no air is shifting, the stab a needle into the artery in my wrist to draw special blood, they test the blood and get instant result, results arnt good, more iv drugs being pumped into my system, muscles working harder than they should, doctors start getting really concerened, I move from resus to intensive care, they stab my artery again with a more perminant lline, they attatch a tighter fitting mask to my face, I remain like this for hours, finally drugs start kicking in, it becomes easier to breathe, my life is coming back to me. Ive survived another. Attack!! I guess me going through a breif outline of my life is like trying explain to a man the real pain women go through with Labour and sadly they will never know for real. For you, there is a very similar way to know how I feel, tape up ur nose so u cant breathe through it, put a normal average size drinking straw between your lips, now tape up the rest of your mouth so no air can get in other than through that straw. Struggling yet!? No, ok, now go and run for 20 minutes flat. You wish. You wouldnt make it 2 minutes!! Thats how I feel daily and when an attack shows its ugly face this struggling and fighting for breath feel intensifies. Ontop of this, I take many medications. These have side effects. I need to devide, do I want these side effects ir do I want to breathe!? Im not an idiot, I choose to breathe. Unfortunatly though this brings me to todays appoinyment with the doctor. One of the side effects from my medications is a muscle wasting disease. Ive now been told that theyve looked into my case. Theyve assessed everything. Theyve looked at alternative drugs. THERES NOTHING THEY CAN DO. My muscle disease I am told today will get worse. The only way it can remotely get better is by coming off the medications, but like I say, I dont and I cant breathe without these drugs. Currently its getting to the stage im struggling even more to hold my head up. Ive been given exercises to try and strengthen my neck muscles but im told not to do them too iften as I can rip them and then they are permanently damaged beyond repair. Inevitably I will end up like a newborn, I will not be able to hold my head up. So, back to my earlier question, do you want to spend a day in my shoes!? TTFN XXXX

Death

Ironically the though of death scares me, yet given the chance i would end my life tonight.

Yes ok some people have it worse off than me, but this is my life. This isnt how i use to live and this isnt how i want to live.

Yes people who have been told they only have a few weeks to live literally want to do everything they can and see everyone to say goodbye
I guess the lucky (if u can call it lucky) thing here is that theyve been given that warning. That chance to say goodbye.
With my illness, i could literally die at any point. Without any warning and without any friends or family

I sucks.

It feels like im in prison and on deaths row. Just casually sat here waiting for it to be my time.

Why is more not being done about asthma.

Why is there no media on it. No regular press releases. No regular adverts raising awareness. We deserve that is nothing else right!?

Im not going to go into details to justify why i would end my life in a second because there are to many reasons. All you need to know is that, asthma sucks. The side effects from all these life saving lung medications suck.

Dont take your life for granted. You never know when it may abruptly come to an end.

TTFN

XXXX

Death

Ironically the though of death scares me, yet given the chance i would end my life tonight.

Yes ok some people have it worse off than me, but this is my life. This isnt how i use to live and this isnt how i want to live.

Yes people who have been told they only have a few weeks to live literally want to do everything they can and see everyone to say goodbye
I guess the lucky (if u can call it lucky) thing here is that theyve been given that warning. That chance to say goodbye.
With my illness, i could literally die at any point. Without any warning and without any friends or family

I sucks.

It feels like im in prison and on deaths row. Just casually sat here waiting for it to be my time.

Why is more not being done about asthma.

Why is there no media on it. No regular press releases. No regular adverts raising awareness. We deserve that is nothing else right!?

Im not going to go into details to justify why i would end my life in a second because there are to many reasons. All you need to know is that, asthma sucks. The side effects from all these life saving lung medications suck.

Dont take your life for granted. You never know when it may abruptly come to an end.

TTFN

XXXX