Lungs...Who Would Have Them!?

So it would seem that 5 brilliant weeks of breathing and semi getting my life back, my lungs on Wednesday decided I had clearly been leading my life to well, and sent me back to hospital.

I just missed ITU again. Aprently (i was told yesterday, that if there wasnt a bed on the respiratory HDU, I was heading to the doom and gloom)

When I arrived my sats on my ABG were sitting nicely at 70%. Great!!

After being drugged right up I wasnon the move to the ward.

I was having a reasonably good say yesterday so thought to ask the docs today if I could try off o2 and they agreed as long as I could maintain my sats. Sounds easy right!?

Few hours later, low and behold the lungs decided other things AGAIN.

This time though it has been bloody hell trying to get a doc, having these killing seasons is a bloody nightmare, it makes things so much harder in emergency situations.

Well by evening I had managed to see a doc, who flapped a little and demanded I put the oxygen back on my face and did more ABG's and drugged me a bit more...oh and re informed ITU things were steadily going down hill again.

I had yet another xray...I swear im going to be glowing soon.

And im now back in puffing away!! The joys!!

Have to be honest tho since ive been here this time around, Ive had the same lush nurse every night which for care is great. I really doc think that these nurses that doo give a hoot should be praised a hell of a lot more often!!

Anywhoo thats me for now!!

TTFN

XXXX

My Reasoning

Picture says it all really lol...or the fact no councillor would have me!!

Joke!! The reason I blog, hmm gets it off my chest without constantly ranting to my friends and family. Instead I can have quality time with them which is more important!!

Plus, when I see my page views feed going up and up and up, it makes me feel that people generally do want to be interested in my life, weirdly enough!!

Oh and it gives me something to do at weird hours when others seem to be doing the natural thing...of sleeping!!

TTFN

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Mums!!

Recently I have come to realise the importance of my mum!!

Throughout my teenage years I never really connected with my family and I would spend all my time with my friends. I hated being at home, there was always arguments, always shouting and never any loving so to speak.

During my college years my parents split. Where as most kids sre completly devestated with their world being torn apart, I had a sense of relief run throughout my body, no more arguing, YES!!

When I was 17 I decided to move out altogether and live with a "friend" and a few month later mum then moved to a new town.

I saw her about 2/3 times a year if that because of problems I was having with the person I was living with.

When I started to become really poorly with my asthma, my mum would be with me the minute my ass hit the hospital bed and she stayed with me for hours, sometime throughout the night, especially when I have been in ITU.

Roughly a year ago my old consultant told me it was no longer safe for me to live on my own and that I was to move back in with mum. Devestated wasnt the word gor it as I had been living away from my family for 3/4 years or so but I knew it was in my best interest.

Mum still remains by my side when in hospital, every morning she will ring the ward to see how I have been and everyday she would visit.

Since moving back in with mum we have done so much together like going for walks with or without the dogs. Going shopping, having random coffee mornings and I have to say I really love it. I now feel that we have a relationship together like a Mother and daughter should!!

And this is where I have seen the importance of my mum!!

TTFN

XXXX

Weight Gain

Last year I was really proud of myself as I had managed to loose over 2 stone in weight. Ok granted a lot of it was probably through stress and that I didnt really have a huge amount of time to eat.

But this year alone, as in the last 9 months, I have manaed to out all that weight and more back on, but I havnt a clue of what to do. Yes I guess I could cut down on the amount I eat but its hard as even though I tell mum to put less in my plate she doenst seem to want to listen.

With regards to exercise, im taking the dogs out walking daily, but if I try running or swimming (to which Ive done a few times) my lungs just get really angry with me and I have to stop.

I literally dont know what to do anymore. All I know is its getting me down and depressed and im really starting to hate the way I look again, I know if I dont do something about it now, its just going to get worse and make my breathing worse again but this time through weight gain!!

TTFN

XXXX

What Is The Point!?

Wheb I cant sleep at night, do I rummage around, go downstairs and put the tv on as loud as possible and let the puppy run around (without opening the backdoor) or do I remain in my bed, turn in my lap and read my kindle!?

Yup you got it, I do the second one.

So why is it that every time my mums partners cant sleep he does the first one!? Not only that, but after waking me and then the puppy come into my room making a fuss, I needed a wee, so off I go, to then stand in a shit that the puppy laid outside my room!! Lets just say I was highly un amused!!

I just dont get it!! As well as all the above, it seems that it always happens when I say the night before that Im massively exhausted, funny that!!

So today, im even more exhausted, and my god isnt he going to know it as I will make a point of being a grumpy ass with him!! He will learn!!

TTFN

XXXX

The Pup

About 5 weeks ago mum decided she was going on holiday in the caravan. Towards the end if the 10 days she rand me like a big kid saying guess what I just got. To be honest I hadnt a clue. So after lots and lots of wrong guessing, mum gave in and told me it was a pup!!

She was 7 weeks when mum came back hone and bloody lush!!

I keep forgetting what her exact breed is but I know she is a westie cross.

Mum wanted a Cornish name for as its where she came from. So shes naned Mowsle, which is the same as the little town Mousehole in Cornwall but mum didnt want it spelt the same.

We have just started taking her out for walks as shes had all her jabs and she loves it, and loves eating her lead along the way.

So far she responds really well to her name, sits and ive also taught her to kiss when you ask her to. I will be teaching her more and more also haha.

Enough of me yabbing about her, here is some pictures.

TTFN
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The System

I have to admit, Im feeling a little let down by the system at the moment.

There are all those people out there that seen to get every benefit going, and everything they could ever wish for. Me on the other hand, is still on the assessment phase of ESA (a year later may I add), and im still, 3 months later being assessed for DLA. Other than that I aparently dont qualify for anything else as Im either ni pregnant, not of ethnic minority nor have any current children.

I feel this is a little unfair as, 1-if i was to get pregnant, not only would I put my own health at risk but also the babies. 2-there is no way even if I had a child I could survive on benefits either and 3-surly UK citizens should get first dibs on any money available likewise for accomadation!?

I currently get £53 a week!! Yup thats it, and as my current outgoings are £50 phone bill, £85 car insurance, £100 storage company, and £70 credit card bill, my income doesnt even cover that, let alone petrol and shopping. Also if I was having to pay for my medications I would be screwed. Somehow, the government thinks I can survive on that £53 a week-id like to see them try!!

Todays rant over :-)

TTFN

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