The Love Of My Life

What an amazing few days ive had...but shhhh dont tell everyone else my enjoyment may be stolen!!

Last christmas, my amazing fiance got me 2 shrek tickets for Bristol Hippodrome. Thankfully also we had recently been given a disability grant. As a result we booked 2 nights away.

On the Wednesday initially we dropped Dixie off at the kennels which we hated might i add and really didnt want to leave her. We then went via my sisters to have cuddles with the nephew and then we finally set off to Bristol.

After we checked in we went for a stroll around cribbs causeway in the hunt for baby clothes bargains as my nephew has been given lots of 3-6 months and older clothers but has about 3 0-3month clothes. Thankfully BHS had a huge sale on and we got 5 outfits for £16 which i was super pleased with. I then treated my lady to spud-u-like. Yes ok people may be like, what, you took her for a jacket potato...but its amazing. You can choose ur own filling and shes never heard of this food place before. Thankfully we both super enjoyed ourselves, so much so we tucked into a millies cookie for pudding...which the othernhalf has also never heard of or eaten before.

Thursday came and it was show time, but not before i treated my girlfriend to another food adventure shes never heard of. I took her to flavourz. Which for those who dont know its and all you can eat buffet bar which has chinese, indian, italian, english and much more all for a great price of £4.95 at lunch tim.

Shrek of course was out of this world. We both was so happy when we left. My other half has also never been to see a show in a theatre before so she was beside her self with joy. Which might i add was great to see after all the crap weve had at home lately. (We ended up buying a gingy puppet to take home for Dixie which she has already eaten off a gum drop oops ha)

Friday came and it was time to come home.

First off we went via the cemetry to visit my nan and grandad. Sadly i am the only family member that ever goes to visit them and also buy them new flowers and decorate their head stones and i was mightly pissed to see that some bastard had stolen the one whole pot of flowers that was on my grandads head stone. Filthy scumbags they are for stealing others stuff. I hate it so much and it makes me really angry.

Well, rant over and off we popped for lunch with mum and my step dad. Whilst eating away, my mum suddenly come out with "how do you feel about coming away with us easter week next year as a wedding present from us. All youll do is share the place with us and you can go off and gander for the whole time". Needless to say we were both shocked and of course said yes.

We finally got home at 8pm or just after. Half way back to Cornwall and the motorway ends up like an asda carpark so wet stopped at Exeter services and sat it out for a little while. Much comfier on the costa sofas that in a car seat.

Today was amazing also. We left to go and pick up Dixie again. The reaction.we got when shet saw us around the corner was the best ever. If youve never seen a excitable puppy, picture a springer spaniel on speed and triple it as that was what Dixie was like. And we loved it.

When we got home i settled down and made the finaly present for my sister. When we first met my nephew, i took my beastie camera with met and took a lot of photos for her. In fact 54 in total. Because im nice, i have gone out and got a black papered paperchase book and made a little portfolio of all the photos i took for her. I was going to send it in the post to suprise her just like ive sent 3 photos to my mum and nan but now that its complete it is rather large so ill be giving it to her in person on the 10th.

Other than all this excitment. The usual crap has gone on. My chest is flaring up again. My ladies parents are still be arseholes and went in our room again whilst we were away. A lock will now be put on our door when we next get paid in 2 weeks. Ggrr

Well i think thats all for now

TTFN

XXXX

Wowzers

What a few days it has been.

As youve guess it, the stress we had a few weeks ago through my other halfs parents has started back up again.

As of yesterday the was now moaning that we took OUR coffee upstairs. Yup you got it, it wasnt even their yet theyve gotten arsey over it, so kicked off.

Today we pop out to get Dixies flea abd worm treatment, we litterally step one foot through the door and we are bombarded with the fact that they have found a bungalow on cornwall housing, they went and viewed it today and have applied for it, so we could be moving in 2 weeks time.
Yay great, they get a lovely home to live in,we on the other hand become homless.

What the fuck are we going to do.

Why are they doing this to us, all along theyve said we will move first and them after to ensure no one is without a home. Then they go and do this to us.

So i distract myself from all of this and start preparing our dinner. I can only do the non dangerous prep as i cant risk doing any more. Ive hurt myself far to many times...but wait, even doing our dinner was wrong. They wanted to use the appliances we were using...yet theyve been sat on their arse doing nothing and the minute we start cooking we are now in their way. But, this isnt all, we are then being dictated to for how this meal should be cooked. Bareing in mind,theyve never cooked it and me hve the recipe book in front of us to which we are following.

I literally cant wait to get the hell out of here.

On a good note though, me.and my.other half are off to bristol for the next 3 days as we are seeing shrek in theatre. We are also flying by my sisters to have squigy cuddles with our nephew. Cute!!

TTFN

XXXX

Frown Isnt Upside Down!!

Ok so im still strunning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Everytime i think something fantastic is happening, I get knocked back down!!

I had the doc ring me up on Thursday because it seems we are having the same battle as last time for keeping my aminophylline levels up so i am now on 600mg a day to see if that does the trick.

Today my other halfs sister arrived back in the UK after a week abroad on holiday...next thing we know weve got a text stating they have our invitation and she then starts getting nasty that weve not invited them to the ceremony. 10 minutes later i get a facebook message from her girlfriend saying shes not coming to the meal weve invited to because she cant see the justification in taking time off work to come down for a meal they have to pay for, so i reminded her that there doesnt need to be a justification, we just wanted our family to celebrate our day with us...i guess for some thats a hard concept to grasp!? I wonder if i could tell them that i dont see the justification in doing their wedding photography for their wedding next june!? I wont because im not nasty. I want to be there for their big day even though it means travelling 300miles and 4 hours to get there, then paying out for a hotel and then travelling back...never mind the fact that i am disabled and struggle to drive 20 minutes!!

Anyway, rant over for now.

In other news, im a little concerned about my muscles. To those that dont know, ive been diagnosed with proximal myopathy which basically is a muscle wasting illness from being on long term steroids for my asthma. Its now getting to the point that im struggling to hold my head up, my neck musclsa are really starting to struggle and im having to wrap my V pillow over my shoulders and under my head to support myself. This is the last thing i want. This is another kick in the teeth for being disabled. I know my consultants had warned me but they said years to come like 10 years...not 10 months down the line.

Im currently at mums now though. We needed to get out the house. The stress is getting to much and its making me even more depressed. It also helps mum and my sister out as she was meant to be dog sitting for our mum whilst shes at a friends wedding but with her being 31 weeks pregnant, having a hyper dog running round your feet isnt wise, so weve braught Dixie with us and were looking after the 2 dogs.

Well, im off to sleep now as yesterday anoth migraine set in and its hanging around again.

TTFN

XXXX

Perfection

Its weird coming back home. Back to reality.

After taking my lady and my pooch away it has reminded me just how lucky i am. How perfect my partner is. How my life would be so different without her in it.

On wednesday we ran around packing and loading the car and made the journey to paignton. Thankfully we picked the right time to go camping. Right on the heatwave.

After we had finally set up our new home for the next two night we went and explored the site. Admittedly we would recommend it to anyone. It was perfect. A well kept site with amusement barn, shop, cafe, bar and a lifegaurded pool. It was just pure bliss. After exploring the site we then made our way into paignton harbour. we found a lovely dog friendly beach and took Dixie for a paddle...well we tried. Shes not really a huge fan of noisey sea so she kept running away when it got to close to her.

We chuckled when we got back to the site as there was another green vango tent pretty similar to ours next to us...and it turns out they drove the same car as us...and they were gay too...we actually couldnt believe how weird it was.

The next day we had set out to go for a stroll in some woods. it was beautiful. Nicely shaded in areas also which helped us all out. I had promised my lady an ice cream the day before also so on our way back i kept my promise and got her what ever one she liked.

When we got back, admittedly i was exhausted. It was my first time out and about since my recent admission so i was beyond tired and in agony. So keeping to tradition -i fell asleep for a few hours in the afternoon.

Whilst driving to our holiday on wednesday, i had found out that a my lady had never been to brixham and b she had never been crabbing, so i decided that friday as it was our last day i would take her there and help build some great memories.

We had yet more amazing weather and my other half managed to catch two crabs...then drop them so never really got to see what they were like up close haha.

With being by the harbour we had to have fish and chips of course and they were absolutly amazing...couldnt of asked for anything more perfect to eat and of course i had to show my other half the best ice cream shop in brixham...and buy us each one tehe.

Sadly though the fun could last forever and we had to come home...though we stopped via totnes to visit a farm shop that our friend told us about and we purchased so lovely sour dough bread and traditional dandelion and burdock and also a cloudy lemonade.

The farm shop was called riverford farm shop and thet camp site was called whitehill country park for anyone who is interested.

We have all had an amazing time and it was great to get away, be ourselves and actually rest and help recover.

To keep the highs going we had to do something amazig today so...we purchased more baby items and also booked our honeymoon...were off for a 3 day break in a spa...excited!!

TTFN

XXXX

Camping

Ok so firstly here is our pooch Dixie, loving the camera of course.

This was our first ever cooking episode whilst camping, toast for our toasted marmite sarnies.

Dixie having a good old sun bathing session

Dixie and my lovely lady at Harlyn bay beach for the first time, and the first time in the sea too.

A random stripy shell in the water

Dixie stealing my wheelchair whilst having a coffevat The Lost Gardens Of Heligan

A random man made insect colony at the gardens of heligan

A tree had recently been cut down and I took the perfect oportunity to capture its inner beauty

Another inner beauty of the tree

My beautiful girlie cooking our marshmallows to make our smores

Having a casual strol through the nature trail at Wheal-Martyn

Our makeshift home, with Dixie standing proud ofcourse

Our bed that literally just fit within the sleeping compartment So, thats a few photos from our camping trip as promised, not many but they capture each part of our adventure TTFN XXXX

Back To Reality!!

As your aware, it was mine and my other half first holiday not being in a hotel but in a tent and well I have to say, although it was blinking freezing, I really enjoyed it. Just being us with our dog in our own little world was fantastic. Ok, so what we done... TUESDAY: not the most adventurous of outings, we set up camp. The end. Only joking, that was just the start of things. Once our new home had been set up we decided to take Dixie to the beach. Blinking heck didnt she enjoy it. In and out of the sea, digging in the sand, trying to eat the sand that we were kicking out in front of us and she just generally really loved the experience. I did get photos but ive not uploaded them to the pc yet so youll have to wait to see our pooch on the beach. WEDNESDAY: as the weather was meant to be better for this day, we made a pack lunch and went to "The Lost Gardens Of Heligan". Although ive been here before with my mum last May, I struggled as I only had my crutches were as this time I had my wheelchair. Anywho, we went around as much as we could before I got mega exhausted. The flowers, scene, views and general prettiness was breath taking. I generally forgot how fantastic it was here. On our way back, we went via the shop and got ourselves a beautiful flower and a little hand crafted mouse sculpture made of wood (to which I named Murtle, I have no idea why though). We also got stopped by near on everyone in the shop because they could stop being amazed by our amazing little puppy. Admittedly she is lush. On wednesday night, I decided to go via tescos to pick up marshmallows, chocolate digestive biscuits and kebab stick...so I could treat my other half to a smore. Shes never had one before and lets just say, she loved them so much, we ate two...and then two more the next night. A picture will follow for this soon also. THURSDAY: ok, so on this day, the weather was not what we wanted. Rain. But we still went out on an adventure, though on our way there we had to do an emergency trousers and pants purchased as our pooch got a little overwhelmed and peed on my other halfs lap. Oops. Once all the change over had finished, we carried on our way to a place called "Wheal-Martyn" to which basically is a china and clay museum which also had a nature trail and a huge amount of history and mechanics for clay production in the 1800. Ok so if your not a history geek like me you wouldnt enjoy the history side as much, but thankfully its something we really enjoyed. FRIDAY: home time *sad times*. As always, we were up at 0730 as Dixie was hungry and needed toileting. We naturally got into the swing if things and started packing up after we had had breakfast. I think we were done withing about two hours. All was good, Dixie was in the car ready, and my other half was in the loo. I then took it upon myself to put the last few items in the backs seats, to wgich consisted of pine cones and a pair of orange wellies...and the disaster struck. Somehow, as I was shutting the door, I managed to shut it on my little finger whilst it was sitting on the locking mechanism. And off goes a slice of the top of my finger. I got to the toilet block as quick as I could to get the myd and oil off my hand so it didnt get into the now pumping with blood hole ive got. I shouted to my girlfriend to say I was there also, and when she came out, and I told her I had had an accident. The bleeding wouldnt stop and the whole cut was far to big for me to leave it so we had to divert via Bodmin minors on the way home. At the hospital I had to have an xray because it was a crush injury (thankfully nothing was broken or lodged inside), I then had to have it cleaned up, stitched and bandaged.

Ok so the picture doesnt actually show off the true extent to what happened, but believe me, it bloody hurt!! Only I could go on holiday and end up in hospital!! Well, heres a happy camping picture from day one...

So, ill try and get some more photos for you all to see tomorrow, but for now im off to make a rainbow sock rabbit!! TTFN XXXX

Always Something

Up nice and early today...but then we all fell asleep again after Dixie had breakfast, till roughly 0930 which for us is rediculoudly late since having a puppy. We done our usual routine first off, and then decided Dixie needed a walk...or I needed it because I put on 2 and 3/4 pounds in the last week. Im personally blaming my increase of steroids plus I have eaten a fair few bad things. We also took Dixie for a walk this evening, for her fun but for me, punishment!! We had to leave at 1130 though to get my other half off for her volunteering job. Once I done that, I had to run off to lidl and asda to get our food for going away tomorrow. Following this (goodness ive been busy) I then had to get my other half to our local hospital as she had an appointment with her ears because of her hearing loss. All is ok, but sadly, the type of hearing loss she has cant be treated with hearing aids, its a weird link between her ears and brain that loses the wavelengths of words and noises which jumble things up and make it harder to hear and understand words. My heart aches for her because its not something that can be sorted. As a result she now struggles to hear generally. I on the other hand have to learn to talk slower and with less of my Bristolian twang ha. Testing my cooking skills (under supervision because of my muscles) I cooked the most amazing tomato soup ready for when we get back for our lunch time meals for when we get. I know a soup is mega simple, but for someone with my disabilities, its blinking hard, and depressing because of needing supervision. In good news, I managed to complete the editing process from Saturdays photos. I managed to get 124 that I absolutly love and im super proud of. Oh and, I got another silver award on a photography I submitted to a competition a few weeks ago, im so proud of how far ive come, I just hope I can keep it up. Excitingly I am off camping with my beautiful girl tomoorow and our puppy. Were only going to Padstow just incase something was to go wrong, but its our first little holiday together as a little family. The memories that will be made are ones that im really looking forward to. I just hope it goes smoothly as weve got our next camping holiday booked for May already ha. So, im not going to be blogging for the next few days, will probably be either Friday or Saturday night, deoending on how tired I am. TTFN XXXX Ps, I forgot to mention, after I sent my sputumn sample last week, I had the doctor ring me today and as I thought ive got a bug in my lungs, its a yeast based fungi that is resistant to all antibiotics so were waiting to hear from my cons about what week can do. Fab hey

Amazing Few Days!!

As you can tell, all has been a little hush hush with me for the last few days and heres why: On Tuesday, I drove myself and my other half to Dorset, we were booked into a travelodge for a few days. We know that there was a pub next door, but we didnt know there was a KFC to the otherside. But, we were good and restrained ourselves. Untill we drove to Glastonbury for a great little outing which was lush because my lovely lady had never been there, anyway, we had a krushem, which to be fair was blinking good of us to not eat also. In Glastonbury, we of course went charity shop shopping and have got some fantastic baby clothes for our potential future baby. Yes I know what you may be thinking, why buy it when your not expecting. But these are the best clothes ever and they are all made for that specific culture. They are bright, colourful and very much unique, aswell as super blinking cheap. Wednesday was also a big but fantastic day for us. We had planned to meet the man that could potentially made our dream come true for being parents. We met him at 1130am and had been chatting for a whole hour despite having been chatting to him for over a month. He was perfect. Polite, happy, intelligent man that has a heart of gold. He also signed a contract for us stating that he would have nothing to do wiith any child/ren that may be concieved from this. Excitedly, he also gave us a donation on Wednesday so in a few weeks we will see if all went as planned, though we keep reminding ourselves that it may not happen just so we dont build up our hopes up. On Thursday we sadly had to come home, and early because we had arranged to look after a good friends little boy whilst she went to an appointment. It has been fantastic to have a great few days away. We literally just chilled, were ourselves again, watched lots of amazing retro films and we had a really nice meal, just the two of us with no stresses. I cant wait for our camping trip in a few weeks time just to be able to be ourselves again, though when camping, we will have the little puppy then where as this time we didnt have her. Though, this will be exciting none the less. Today has a bit of a scatty day. Initially, we got up and went swimming. Because we had a few bad foods whilst we were away, we decided to do 80 lengths to burn off those things we ate. After swimming I then had to go buy a new glass for my wing mirror as the final half decided to fall out yesterday following some twat hitting it last december. Then, I had to run my lovely lady to meet with her new healthy trainer lady to get a little more help with our weightloss plan. Whilst she was with the lady, I took Dixie to the park for a little run around. Its been a great but very VERY exhausting few days, but annoyingly, we cant rest up tomorrow, we have to go to Bridgwater and empty my storage unit and we have to be there by 9am so its a wake up at 0530-0600 depending on which time I can be bothered to wake up to. TTFN XXXX

Here, There and Everywhere!!

Life has been a little hectic over the past few weeks with having different hospital appointments and travelling up and down the country. Hospital appointments have consisted of going to Plymouth hospital to have over an hours worth of lung function tests so that they can get a good idea of how my lungs dont work, and then I am seeing the new Consultant in January at some point so that should be interesting. I have also have a fracture clinic appointment following my fall a few weeks ago and breaking my wrist. The consultant there isnt to happy with my xray results so has requested that I have a CT scan which is in just over a weeks time. so thats slightly annoying that this has happened. I have also had my second appointment with the other hip doctor who was a little bit annoying actually as he didnt really have a clue and is referring me to yet another doctor and has suggested that I have the steroid injections again in my hip (which didnt work the first time) and then if that doesnt work they will then look at what else can be done before the route of a hip replacement. I have also been back up to see mum recently as it was her birthday and well, it was slightly awkward to say the least and I came away a little upset. firstly, she opened the present that we gave her whilst I was in the toilet and then just put it on the side and didnt even say thanks, where as with my sisters she opened it all whilst everyone was there and said a massive thank you. secondly, she didnt even really speak to my other half which is really starting to hack me off as it has been well over a year now and she still cant seem to come to terms with things and accept who I am engaged to. Thirdly, I have found out that my sister has been going around mums and having little drinking sessions with her and that they have been going out shopping and generally having a good time, Im gutted with this as me and mum never really done anything like this and now that I have moved away she seems to be getting on really well with my sister. And finally, my mum in front of everyone asked my sister if she wanted to come around for christmas day and completely ignored me, so as a result I have decided that Im not going to see any of my family at christmas because I dont feel like they want me to see them, I no longer feel accepted by them and that they want me to be in their lives let alone my partner as well. On happy notes, myself and my partner have officially been together for just over a year now and it is exciting. We decided to treat ourselves, and spend two nights away in Newquay. Whilst away we went to the cinema and seen Gravity which is a pretty amazing film, we also went to the seal sanctuary which although was cold, was really amazing to see all the different seals and also the poorly ones in the hospital who are being really well looked after. We also went and had a MASSIVE chinese which was lush, but we ate far to much. My other half also introduced me to the hunger games which is a great film, very well put together!! so we had a busy couple of days, just us enjoying each others company. My other half also had her 20th birthday which was great. She was ultimatly spoiled by both her parents and myself with lots of different gifts to keep her busy some of which included pyrography (which shes done one already and it looks amazing, ive never seen it before and I really like how its turned out!!) and she also got an air brushing machine to be able to decorate her cakes with. We also went out for a meal, both of us and her parents which was great as weve never actually done that before so it was a nice treat for us all. On sad news though, Ive had yet another assessment with the community physio team and they have now decided that Im going to have to have a wheelchair when out in the community as my muscles have gotten far to weak and im having to many falls which is compromising my safety. I am a little gutted by this but I guess it had to come at some point hey. My photography is coming along great, I recently entered a photo into a competition and im awaiting the results so ill let you all know when that happens. These photos were taken with the help of my lovely lady dressing up in a stunning dress and having some nice make up on. One of our friends have also asked me to take photos of her and her baby in a few weeks time also so although im a little nervous about it, im also excited as itll be my first official shoot with people and not of still life. So, thats my life for now. TTFN XXXX

Here, There and Everywhere

I have no idea why I tend to leave blogging for so long as I forget where I last left things and I forget how much Ive done in that time so here goes ... and it will probably not be in the order in which I done it either!!

So first up, because I have the most amazing mum in the world who looks after me so well, and puts up with a lot from me I decided that she needed a holiday and that I was going to treat her, so I told her that she had 24 hours to find a nice holiday lodge that would be dog friendly and that we were going the last week of April so she best get looking and fast. she found a place called Honeysuckle lodge, and one thing I forgot to mention to mum is that I wasnt rich, but she loved the look of it and the next thing I know Im booking it,

Honeysuckle Lodge

The lodge was the most beautiful looking thing I have every stage in. The views when i woke up every morning were stunning and that was before I even moved in my bed as the beds were placed directly facing the windows to we had something amazing to look at from the moment we woke the moment we went to bed. During the week holiday we had done some much that I was exhausted and sadly my legs couldnt hold me any longer and the gave way (serves my right really for not using my crutches). We visited 3 beached, the lost garden of heligan, gardens of trebah, had a suprise dinner with mum and Sophie's parents (and thankfully the got on amazingly) and we also went around lost off different towns ranging from Boscatle to Perranporth. Thankfully the weather was the best weve had this year and we even caught some rays. Mum had had the most amazing chilled out week she has had in a long time, so much so that she didnt want to come home. So I think my goal had been achieved for saying thank you. Love you mum!!

Lost Gardens of Heligan

Gardens of Trebah

Before our lush holiday I had been back up to Heartlands hospital for my 3 monthly appointment. Sadly my lung function was still only 52%. this is a bonus of course as the last time it was 47% but its still not perfect. My consultant has decided that my reflux is getting far to out of control and that it is time for me to have surgery (fundoplication). Now many people say that this is a minor operation, and yes I agree to some degree as nothing is being removed and nothing is being added BUT for me this is a huge thing as the last time I had surgery I stopped breathing as I had an allergic reaction to the anaesthetic, so its fair to say, its a huge operation to me. On top of this, Im not looking forward to being on liquidized food for 2 weeks following the surgery either. YUCKY!!

I did ask the question of what more there is for me following the operation for if it didnt work, and my consultants response was, I have more up my sleeve, but try and be positive. This is great but as this has been going on now all my life, I am starting to feel that Asthma is actually taking over my life and it is restricting me so much that I cant handle it any more!! I also discussed with my consultant that I didnt want to be on steroids anymore and he told me that I have to, im not allowed lower that 10mg so instead of being on the high dose I was on we decided to do a drastic dose straight from 40mg to 10mg and boy havnt I paid for it since, for a week flat (and still on and off now) I was getting severe nightmares that scared the poop out of me and resulted in me just not sleeping as they were to nasty. then when the nightmares started dyeing down a little and I managed to get a little bit of sleep, my body would only let me have about 2 hours at a time before it was telling me I had to be awake again. SUCKY much!! On top of the horrid dreams, I have had a headache now for the whole time that I have been on this low dose steroid, my joints and muscles have been in agony and ive been eating paracetamol and tramadol like its going out of fashion!! I generally cant wait for things to start improving health wise!!

I also had an admission which wasnt all that nice as I ended up on lots of oxygen again IV aminophylline. I have to say this is starting to be a regular occurance now which im not liking as they are also really struggling to get IV access with me and when they do they soon collapse. I have talked to consultants about having a port a cath fitted but currently they are saying that whilst they can find a vein under ultrasound scan they will continue to do so. which I have to say sucks a little bit as im ending up with stained skin where im constantly bruising and they just arent healing properly. 

Before all the above had happened, mum had also sadly collapsed and went unconscious on me. it was super scary as I couldnt move fast enough like I used to to help her. I got an ambulance as soon as possible as she was knocked out for a good 5 mins and even when she came around I didnt have the strength to lift her. As it turned out the paramedics didnt want her lifted untill they got there anyhow just incase she had hurt herself. Mum did have to spend the night in hospital as it turned out her blood pressure was mega low, nd this was probably due to stress because of the split and all the hassle still going on with her ex. It seems that even though we have moved out from them they are still causing hell. So the much needed holiday from about was most certainly needed for more that my reasons of giving mum a break for myself!!

Well I think that has been the highlights of my life so far!!

TTFN

XXXX