Devestated

Some people may say, atleast you know whats causing your trouble and others may say, its not that bad, ive had it but for me, its really got me down.

The reason it has got me down is because its the 3 bit of crappy news ive had this year so far and were literally only half way through.

I had Taunton hospital ring me yestersay saying theyve had my MRI results back fot my right hip. It turns out i havnt been making up my pain just to get morphine as some doctors have said, but infact i have a lebral tear in my right hip meaning i need to have surgery as soon as they can get the whole team together for me.

Im having the surgery down in Truro though as it can be done key hole down here rather than open surgery that Taunton can only do. So i have to wait for my care to be transfered over first.

The reason this bit of news has devestated me, isnt just the fact that doctors wasnt believing me but its also the fact that i flat line and stop breathing everytime i have a general.

Yes im aware that i dont have to have a general, but ive not been given these option as of yet. I guess each hospital has their own policies.

Only time will tell.

TTFN

XXXX

Lush!!

Waking up this morning, I was determind to actually rest...I started off doing that after doing our morning walk with Dixie around the feild. We then sat in the back garden (on the comfy chairs) watching the rabbits, lapping up the sunshine. Sadly though even though it was 15 degrees, I was sat in a coat as I was so blinking cold. I took my temperature at around lunch time and it was raised...no wonder I was cold. After our amazeballs sunday lunch, myself and my partner went for a stroll to find a new feild for Dixie as the farmer has now put sheep in the feild we were using. That walk turned into and hour and a half walk. Oops. I was in agony. To top it off, we never did find a field. After so much walking, it was time for a cuddle on the sofa watching a film, and todays film was "dream house" with Daniel Craig, and I have to say, its a bloody good film. Trying to stay healthy with our food, we have ran out of soup so had to raid the fridge. Thankfully I managed to russle up an amazing tuna salad. Was suprisingly satisfying. Once I had done my afternoon meds I was getting irritable and my head was really screwing me over again so I asked my lovely lady if we could go for another walk. Thankfully we agreed and went on the hunt for another field. In the hope we had potentially found one and getting excited, we followed the public footpath...but all of a sudden it came to an end and we could go no further, so we returned home. Completly in a world of our own, we realised that we had been out for another 45 minute walk. Oops again We are not snuggled up in bed, morphined up, drinking hot chocolate and watching One Tree Hill. Life is perfect. TTFN XXXX

Coffee, Friends And A Stroll

Late last night we had a great friend of ours text us to see if we would like to go for a catch up and a walk either today or tomorrow. As we r bust tomorrow, we decided that today would probably be best for us. She left it in our hands for time and place so I chose Cardinham Woods at 11am The timing was a little optimistic. I had such a rush night sleep, fell back to sleep at 7am and then woke up at 9. By the time I had done my meds, had breakfast, feed all the animals and do a picnic, admitidly we were a little late. Thankfully our friend was late also as her 8 month old son decided he needed a nap. Phew. When we all eventually got to the woods we had a sneaky "naughty hot chocolate" which is chocolate toped with mini marshmallows and cream-yum. I when went for our stroll (to burn off our drinks of course ha). I was so pleased as we all agreed to do the flat gental route so that could try on just my crutches instead of my wheelchair. The walk was 3k so it took us roughly 3 hours to get around because I needed to keep stopping, having a seat and catching my breath. Still, I am pleased with my achievements. Once we had our stroll, we then had our picnics and even more nattering. Got to love meeting up with friends. Certainly keeps your brain going, and the great thing is, its one of my other halfs friends originally so not someone I know through auk or one of my illnesses. Despite this, she is fantastic and really looks after me and makes sure im ok when we are together. When we got home. I had about an hours rested with being topped back up with morphine and I attempted to make tea. Sadly I had to give up around 1/4 of the way through as I just couldnt cope any more. Thankfully my other half was happy as usual to carry it on, which im glad as it was an experimental tea of fizzy orange chicken from "the girl called jack" book...and I have to say it was bloody lush. This was then finished of with a nice small portion of rice pudding as a suprise. As soon as the dishes were scrubbed, we went off on another stroll around the feild with dixie to keep up her routine. Now that im now I. Bed again I am bloody shattered, but to bring the final greatness to the end of the day, we found one of Dixies puppy teeth on the floor. Its the first one that we have seen, although we know shes lost more, just not sure when or where. Great times. Hopfully ill sleep well tonight, but we will see. TTFN XXXX

Pain-Worse Than Ever

Today was they day for the hopefull sorting of the pain in my hip. Waking up at 4am was, well, a massive challenge, but we done it and managed to pull of the drive at exactly 5am as planned. Go timing I say. We arrived at the surgical day unit just in time, managed to just get a seat in the busy waiting area and I was called in. Intially on my own as I hadnt a bloody clue what the heck was going on. I had a HCA start filling out my paperwork, and she got to the pregnancy question. Asked me when my last peroid was to which I told her it was the first week of February. All was dandy, then said, we will have to do a pregnancy test. I said its not possible, im in a gay relationship and im on the pill. She was addiment I needed to do a pregnancy test. I was addiment I wasnt and decided to tell her, if another woman could make me pregnant, we would have the family we are longing for. That was the end of that subject. After, she left the bay so I decided that I was off to get my other half as I couldnt cope with stress or hassel. Once my partner was with me, we carried on filling in more paperwork. She asked my marital status, to which I told her I was cohabiting and this is my partner. She pondered over the question in her head a little, and then I see her writing single. I was even more pissed than before. We continued through the pre op paperwork. Once all this was done and she closed the book, I pointed at the marital status question and said, I told you I was cohabeting. So she asked, well what do you want me to right. I looked at my partner, then looked back at the HCA and said, im in a relationship. The HCA was not happy. I really dont think she likes same sex relationships one bit, and she treated me like a disgusting piece if meat. I was having none of it. Going back to the pre op form, there were other questions like, you can do house hold chores, manage stairs and walk 150 meters ok. She ticked yes for all. Thankfully I saw this again and had to correct her with the fact that actually I can do none of what she said I could. She also said I didnt have aneamia (ill just point out here, she assumed this and I saw the answer again-thankfully) because again I had to correct her that I am aneamic and infact on medication for this. When the theatre staff came to collect me, they asked if they could have some tape to cover up the piercings I couldnt take out. The good old *cough* HCA then decided to chirp up and say "she refused to take out her piercings" thankfully I had a good theatre team, as they arhued with her three times saying, shes not refusing she just cant, and all we are asking for is some tape and all is perfect. It was such hard work. As I was about to leave, my partner gave me a kiss and we said our goodbies...this ticked of the HCA to the limit, she was not impressed that we kissed. Fricking hell I wish I got her name as I would have reported her for being such a bitch about me being gay. After all of the above, we finally managed to get to theatre where I had a good old funny banter with my surgeon and the rest of the theatre staff, which amazingly helped me relax. The procedure hurt like a git, I felt everything and the pain of the fluid going into my hip socket was beyong horrid. Admittedly though, watching my x rays fly up to the screen as the procedure was taking place really was cool, but all in all, id rather not have the procedure done again thanks. I "jumped" onto my wheelchair and we went off to town to meet with my sister to get my birthday present, have a general catch ip, and have a sneaky peek of her ever growing bump. She is huge for 15 weeks. Its mentall. We also managed to get some baby bargains in primark and we also nipped into CEX and got two dvds for my chill out day tomorrow. We managed to get back...just!! I was in agony by the time we got home. Pain reif had worn off and I couldnt take any more as I naughtily had to drive home. I think the driving pushed me over the edge though. Ive bern in bed since I got home, and can barely move, and thats with being dosed up on morphine. Thankfully though, our little puppy (although has aparently been a little shit all day) put a smile straight on my face and gave me beautiful snuggles all evening...and even managed to throw in a few sneaky peak flow tests lol. Ive added a few pictures, im sure you can work out which is which. For now though, im off to get some shut eye in the hope ill blovk out the pain. TTFN XXXX