Give Or Take

Apologies to all my followers for not blogging last night but as you know my other halfs dad is currently in hospital and as no one else apart from me can drive I have been running around like a headless chicken. As a result, last night I was really poorly and just went to bed. Of course I dont have to do all this running around, but the way I see it is that when im next in hospital they would do the same for me. They would run my other half up and back from the hospital to visit me, they would bring me items I need and they woyld try and keep my spirits up so in my head it means I have to do the same for them. I wish I didnt think like that but I just cant see any other way around things. We think though that her dad may be home later today but annoying I still have to drive the 45 minutes to the hospital and then the 45 minutes home again. I also have to run my other half back to the same hospital tomorrow as she has an appointment and then I have to drive to Taunton on Wednesday which is 2 and a half hours to get there for a hispital appointment for myself. I wish I didnt drive. It hurts me so much. My muscles have gotten weaker and weakers because of the extra strain on them and now I literally feel like shit. I guess these things ha e to happen though. Thats what families do, they come together in times of need. TTFN XXXX

Really!?

Could you ever imagine what a day in my life could be like!? Well here is yet another day of being turned upside down. Latly now because of getting up so early, my body clock now seems to think 0730 is the perfect time for me to be awake. Fun. I guess with being up so early the day may aswell have been started, so after my.morning medications we toddled off to the feild. Annoyingly though we had to bring my mother in laws dog with us. We only managed to walk around the feild twice though as I was bloody shattered. After all of that walking we then had to do a mad dash to the post ofgice as the post man is starting to get rediculous again with not posting our parcels. It seems as though I am now instantly the person that has to run everyone around. With having to take my father in law to hospital we had to leave his car at the doctors surgery, and because my mother in law was having a stress that it may have got damaged, she rang the rac and through mobility she got it driven home. Thats fine, I dont mind helping with that to some extent because you cant help being poorly, but what hacks me off is, my mother in law can infact actually drive and is insured to drive their car, she just doesnt want to. I stead I am being made to run around. All in all to dat, I have driven from home, to Bodmin, to Wadebridge, to home, to Truro, to St Austell and then back home again. I had to miss my lunch time medication because of being in the middle of driving which cause my lungs to get pissed off and it also meant I couldnt have any pain relief because of the drowsiness it cause which it turn has left me crippled in pain. Thankfully because of my amazing girlfriend, as soonas we got home she dosed me high with drugs and cooked me a lovely tea. After about 2 hours I was now in less pain than before. Enough that I could walk a little and decided to quickly dash around the feild again with Dixie as its really unfair for her to miss out hust coz my body is screwed up. Im praying that I dont have to run everyone around tomorrow as I really cant cope with it. On other notes, my father in law had a CT scan with dye to find out what was causing his breathlessness and it turns put he has clots in both lungs. He sadly though is adiment that its his diabetes that has caused this, no matter how many times we tell him different. He says that just hecause he is 19stone and immobile (to some degree) that that wouldnt have caused the clots. I guess this is a little sadening as it means he wont change his lifestyle. Some might say that this could be a warning to him. I guess if hes not willing to accept that his lifestyle isnt the factor for his stint in hospital then hes not going to get that reality check for his life. Sad really. TTFN XXXX

My Lovely Events

Today hasnt been the most of exciting days at all if im honest. Ive had rather a lot of pain and literally just cant get comfy, ive been led down, sat up, walking around and in any other position that is possible to try. My other half has been decorating her many cakes to which is going to finalised into one big cake in the end. Its for our friends naming ceremony in a few weeks time. She is so excited and it looks amazing considering shes never done anything like this at all. Ok shes done many of cakes, but not done anything to this level before. Im so proud of her!! I on the other hand has been reading more photography stuff and hunting for a perfect place for sunday to go take this perfect photo for my next competition. So far. The four ive entered have got me silver awards which I never in a million years thought id achieve. Once all our daily hobbies were done, we took our puppy to the field which is literally a house away. She absolutly loved it and couldnt get enough of it, and luckily for us, shes slept since shes got back. I on the other hand is in more pain than before. Because of it being soggy grass, I couldnt go in my wheelchair, so went with my crutches, but it still left me off worse, so have been in bed since. Myself and my partner are still continuing our healthy eating diet in the hope to keep loosing more weight. Our meal tonight was blinking scrummy. It was a sausage omelette with pan warmed pepper slices. Was blinking amazing, ive never trialed with so many different food and flavours before and its really getting me stuck in. Fingers crossed for weigh day on monday. In other news, last night at 8pm, I found out that my bank card had been blocked. So I had to ring the bank and was told that because ive changed my last name, I now cant access funds untill I get my new card. That or go to my local branch with photographic ID and draw out cash over the counter thing. They couldnt understand the whole no ID as ive changed my name and that has also been sent away. They also couldnt u derstand that my nearest branch is over 30 miles away and dont have enough petrol to get there and cant get petrol as cant use my card. They have also left us screwed food wise. We were meant to go shopping tomorrow after ive picked up my prescription as we have no food and my drugs run out tomoorow. We now cant do any of that. I really kicked off with the bank and they said id have the manager ring me back within the whole...11 hours later and im still waiting for that phone call. As a result, last night I sent an email to the bank destressing how much I need my money, they responded which is great, but they said, they were putting my complaint through the right team, and not actually dealing with the need of my money by tomorrow, so I replied in a very stern manner. I am awaiting their result. Dont think im going to get money by tomorrow though which really isnt helpful. Well, theres my non exciting day. TTFN XXXX

Struggling

With another admission luming to hospital I cant help but keep getting flash backs from my last admission and previous admissions.

Ok this time there is a difference as its not an emergency and its not an asthma attack. Im going in for surgery.

Im struggling to sleep again because it seems that everytime I close my eyes im reliving the terrible times ive had and its scaring the poop out of me.

I dont know what to do, the relationship with my mum has changed because she has a new man in her life so I dont feel I can talk to her and my other half is back in her home town so I dont want to worry her when there is over 100 miles between us.

Shall I mention things to one of my link nurses when in Birmingham to see whether they can help at all or do anything or am I just being daft.

Whats also not helping is being on this silly diet and only getting about 1000 calories a day. I have no energy and just feel drained. Surely this also inst good for surgery.

Well theres my worries for now!!

Ill keep you posted for how I get on

TTFN

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