Hiding Away

Ok apologies for not having been here for a while.

On Thursday after my mobily scooter assessment (which was a-maze-ing) i was really poorly. I had yet another migraine plus my belly become extremly swollen and i was in agony. So i curled up in a ball and shut the world out.

Back to my scooter assessment though, weve found the perfect scooter and my other half has been taught how to take it apart and reassemble it. Sadly though its going to cost £1249 so unless i cant get the grants from charities im not going to be having it. It felt so amazing on it. i had freedom. I was my independant self again.

Friday was pretty pants. We were running around, going to doctors, posting parcels and my other half went to the gym. I was shattered and suprise suprise, by the end of the morning i had yet another migraine.

Uve decided that im going to the doctors on monday about my migraines as ive been on my increase tablets for a month now with no such luck so something needs to be done.

All weekend ive basically just chilled. We had a BBQ on friday which was nice thougj even at 6pm the heat was to much so i had to go back to bed and sit infront of the fan.

Today we are off to a place called Sibly back lake with Dixie and we are meeting up with 2 friends and their son. At tue moment it looks nice an overcast so im hoping that i wont get a migraine with sitting in my chair not getting away from the sun.

the stress of my other halfs parents have increased yet again and they were in the middle of slagging me off when they realied i could hear everyword as i was stood outside of the window. I felt gutted. Aparently its all my fault that their daughter is now selfish and never spends anytime with them. Im sorry but monday she volunteers at bernardos. Tuesday she goea to the gym. Wednesday she does to yoga. Thursday she goes to the gym and friday we go swimming. Not forgetting caring for me, baking cakes for her business and also taking Dixie for walks. I feel deflated. I dont know what ive done.

TTFN

XXXX

Scream And Shout And Let It All Out.

Lush little day. Well, thats how it started any how. Myself and the lady to Dixie for a walk like usual. I then had to drop my other half at the camel trail as she was meeting up with her healthy lady. To which they done more walking and then as soon as I picked her back up an hour later we went off swimming. Unfortunatly we didnt stay as long as we would have liked because a mass load of holiday makers came in and took over the place. When we got home, it was roughly time to feed Dixie. (And heres where the title comes from.) Two seconds after we put Dixies food down on the floor, my other halfs mum walks in from upstairs, demands for us to pick up Dixies food because her dog was coming in. We asked her to wait a few minutes to give Dixie time to actually eat, but no she storms in, picks it up and puts it on the table leaving Dixie with nothing. I wouldnt mind but we warm Dixies meat up as she prefers it like that and each time its being taken away from her, it then goes warm and then she eats nothing. The next thing to which not only pissed me off but upset me is that I had the two youngest rabbits in the run as we didnt manage to get them in there yesterday.Dixie was casually outside laying in the sun, not having a care in the world about the rabbits. My other half mum comes down stairs again and I told her, ease dont let Lottie out right now as Dixie is out there and the rabbits are still in the run. So what does she go and do. Let Lottie out and she strolls back in. Immediatly I can hear that they were up to no good, and she must of to as she goes back out side and is shouting at her dog to get off the run. Next thing I know, shes ran indoors screaming at me saying the rabbits have got out the run. (Same scenario as yesterday). We manage to get the dogs back inside and then she stands over me whilst watching me struggle with two rabbits and the run and says to me "how are they managing to get out all of a. Sudden?!". Admittedly my response was sharp and it went something like "because your dog keeps jumping on the run, pulling it around (to which there are now small holes in the canvas) and they have ripped up the pegs leaving a massive hole for them to hop in and out. Next time, one dog out her at a time and we will have to watch them". After sorting them out, I went back in and got a little upset, because if it was Spice who I call my grampher rabbit, he would have been dead. Hes 7 years old so is bloody old for a rabbit and we are actually suprised hes still going. But the stress of a dog jumping on him would literally give him a heart attack. As a rest, im not blinking scared to let him in the run which is unfair. Tonight because I was so stressed and upset, I asked my other half if we could take Dixie fir her second walk early and then go upstairs to bed and watch a film. To which she said yes and thats where I am now...though the film has finished and I am nowing doing my bed time nebulisers and physio. The film we watch by the way was "inhabited". Ive had it for years but my lovely lady has never seen it...she kept jumping and cuddling into me as she was so scared ha. Its only a 12 I think as well. Bless her. Well, its been another long day for me, and im ready for the planned PJ weekend so ill chat to you all tomorrow. TTFN XXXX

Excitement!!!!!

Ill get the boring daily stuff out the way first, before I get through to the good stuff. Last night I had a nasty allergic reaction again, my face blew up, was swollen, red and rashy and this tracked down my neck, chest and arms. I had to take 4 antihistamines to get it under control. Thankfully it wirked else it would have been an epipen job!! Up nice and early again to be able to get Dixie around the feild and then get my other half to her new healthy wellbeing class. For us to do medication, physio, breakfast, and pet feeding we had to wake up at 6 and even then we left the house 5 minutes late. Hate that our mornings take so long. After I picked my lovely lady back up, we had arranged for our friend to come around with her little man. This was mainly so that I could give her, her CDs from the naming ceremony of her son a week saturday ago. We all had a slice of cake that she brought around and had a good old natter. I was a little gutted though because I couldnt have a cuddle with her little man because my muscles were so weak I couldnt stand or lift my arms so it would have been far to dangerous and unsafe. I was happy to pull faces and make silly noises to him though. Once our friend had left, we waited in anticipation to hear what she thought of my work. I was praying that she would like them. In the mean time though, we kept ourselves busy snuggled on the sofa watching frozen, which might I add is a blinking good film. At about 1930 tonight, I recieved a tad on my face book which was - "Just got the photo's back from my very talented friend Charlie from Charlie_Warlie Photography, twice now she's taken photo's for me, they are truly beautiful, capture the whole feeling of Tre's naming ceremony. I have laughed, smiled and even had a few weeps at the amazing images. Thank you so much Charlie, if you every need any recommendations I will sing it from roof tops!" I was both overwhelmed and overjoyed with this response. I always doubt that my work is as good as what people say it is, but I guess that people really do like it. Well that was my exciting news!! Untill tomorrow... TTFN XXXX

Maybe Some Progress!?

Thankfully, or shall I weirdly, our little puppy Dixie allowed us to sleep in untill 0900. Which was just what I needed after having the crapiest night sleep ever. Bouncing between coughing, flash backs and pain, my night was at the terrible end of the spectrum. I also woke up producing mass amounts of gunk, so it went straight in a sputumn pot and my inlaws were very kind to drop it in for me as they were heading past my doctors surgery. Fingers crossed that this may be the reasoning behind my lungs not being happy again. This moring was very chilled out, I put all three rabbits in the run for the day again, and made some home made Gnocchi, for mine and my other halfs tea, and it was blinking lush. Were using a lot of recipes from a book weve just purchased called 'A Girl Called Jack'. In this book the lady has made and adapted many different recipes to which are budget meals when living on £10 a week for food and they are also super healthy. I would definatly recommend it to anyone wanting cheap and healthy meals. Once my cooking session was over, I had to go to the doctors myself for 1440. I knew it was going to be a wasted appointment on my GPs side because it was following my conversation with an ass of a doctor last week, who wouldnt re prescribe my tablets because I was on so many. So in I walk to the GP (this one in oarticular us very good and I now wont see anyone else at the surgery). When I explained the situation on the phone and that im still getting the cramps, he said he would be more than happy to re prescribe me the drug again, and at a higher dose to see if it helps more. We also discussed the situation with my phosphate and that my local still gasnt responded to him as to whether or not there is a link to my asthma etc, do weve agreed that I will chase them up this week, and if they have a problem, I have to get them to ring this specific doctor and he will sort them out. We also discussed the fact my new antihistamines arnt working as effectively as I would like them because of the increase of reactions im having. We established that I am on triple the 'legal' dose, and if possible, leave it another few weeks to let my body ptoperly adjust and get use to the new drug, if not, then ill be changing over to one of the two alternatives to which I was given. In the mean time, my epi pens are not leaving my side. Just remembering, the twat of the doctor from the phone last week stated in my notes that I said GPs are a waste of time. I retold the nice doctor today that what I actually said was, I didnt want to be wasting GPs time coming all the way to the surgery when it can be dealt with over the phone. Shame it cant be removed from the system. Bonus though, todays visit was positive for me as I can restart my drugs, but a pain for the dictors as someone who is generally poorly and needs them, then couldnt have that much needed appointment. Im back off to Bridgwater tomorrow to see my old respiratory consultant and to also see my sister who is hopfully giving me a baby scan photo of her iggle piggle. So excited to see the real scan as the first was sent via picture message as we live ove 100 miles from each other. For now though, its film time with the HERsband and pup. TTFN XXXX

Amazing Few Days!!

As you can tell, all has been a little hush hush with me for the last few days and heres why: On Tuesday, I drove myself and my other half to Dorset, we were booked into a travelodge for a few days. We know that there was a pub next door, but we didnt know there was a KFC to the otherside. But, we were good and restrained ourselves. Untill we drove to Glastonbury for a great little outing which was lush because my lovely lady had never been there, anyway, we had a krushem, which to be fair was blinking good of us to not eat also. In Glastonbury, we of course went charity shop shopping and have got some fantastic baby clothes for our potential future baby. Yes I know what you may be thinking, why buy it when your not expecting. But these are the best clothes ever and they are all made for that specific culture. They are bright, colourful and very much unique, aswell as super blinking cheap. Wednesday was also a big but fantastic day for us. We had planned to meet the man that could potentially made our dream come true for being parents. We met him at 1130am and had been chatting for a whole hour despite having been chatting to him for over a month. He was perfect. Polite, happy, intelligent man that has a heart of gold. He also signed a contract for us stating that he would have nothing to do wiith any child/ren that may be concieved from this. Excitedly, he also gave us a donation on Wednesday so in a few weeks we will see if all went as planned, though we keep reminding ourselves that it may not happen just so we dont build up our hopes up. On Thursday we sadly had to come home, and early because we had arranged to look after a good friends little boy whilst she went to an appointment. It has been fantastic to have a great few days away. We literally just chilled, were ourselves again, watched lots of amazing retro films and we had a really nice meal, just the two of us with no stresses. I cant wait for our camping trip in a few weeks time just to be able to be ourselves again, though when camping, we will have the little puppy then where as this time we didnt have her. Though, this will be exciting none the less. Today has a bit of a scatty day. Initially, we got up and went swimming. Because we had a few bad foods whilst we were away, we decided to do 80 lengths to burn off those things we ate. After swimming I then had to go buy a new glass for my wing mirror as the final half decided to fall out yesterday following some twat hitting it last december. Then, I had to run my lovely lady to meet with her new healthy trainer lady to get a little more help with our weightloss plan. Whilst she was with the lady, I took Dixie to the park for a little run around. Its been a great but very VERY exhausting few days, but annoyingly, we cant rest up tomorrow, we have to go to Bridgwater and empty my storage unit and we have to be there by 9am so its a wake up at 0530-0600 depending on which time I can be bothered to wake up to. TTFN XXXX

Finding Money And Finding My Smile

Forgetting I had a birthday a few weeks ago means I forgot I was given money. Ok granted I still cant put petrol in the car but I can buy something if I need...though have to "walk" there to get what I need. My inlaws were really kind this morning and took myself and my partner swimming today. We go every Friday and we really didnt want to stop just because we couldnt use my bank card.with trying to loose weight, we figured it was a mudt, if we give up now. We will give up altogether!! Along with this, they said that they had to go to the local town to pay their bills and said that they will pick up my drugs. I really couldnt thank them enough for their kindness today. We were both really pleased with our progress with swimming though. Again we were the only two people in the pool, and just had a nice casual swim. I hip is in agony now though which really isnt good, especially as we just decided to take the puppy around the feild- twice. Ive decided though that I need to keep moving. If I stay sat all the time because of the pain, itll just get worse ehich is going to get me nowhere. In exciting news today, I had post from the bank. Yay!! Wow I wish you could hear my sarcasm right now because, the bank sent out a bank card with my old name still on it. Would love to know why they did that considering I went there personally to change it. So again I had to ring the bank and adk them what they were playing at. According to this gentleman on the phone, he doesnt understand why my card has been blocked in the first place, it doesnt make sense. Not to me nor them it seems. Muppets. If it wasnt such a pain in the rear I would change my bank, but I really cant be bothered with all the hassel. Were supposed to be meeting up with really great friends tomorrow in Exeter because its one of their birthdays today. They have been a real big support to both myself and my partner and I couldnt thank them enough. The one lady use to be a learner support assisstant in my old secondary school, we had no contact again untill roughly 3-4 years later when we saw each other at gay pride in Bristol. Two which I then established she was also now dating a lady. They were also at the time going through the same process as myself and my partner with having a baby and they now have a very beautiful baby girl who is full of life and always smiling. I really cant wait to start the process with my partner. Ok itll present some challenges no doubt with both life and health, but when doesnt a baby present challenges. Im sure youll all be pleased to hear that we have continued with our healthy eating also and tonight our tea is going to be meatball pasta bake. Weve also made another healthy soup for the next week. All these exciting new food really are keeping us motivated. Ok do I think ill stop rambling now!! TTFN XXXX

My Lovely Events

Today hasnt been the most of exciting days at all if im honest. Ive had rather a lot of pain and literally just cant get comfy, ive been led down, sat up, walking around and in any other position that is possible to try. My other half has been decorating her many cakes to which is going to finalised into one big cake in the end. Its for our friends naming ceremony in a few weeks time. She is so excited and it looks amazing considering shes never done anything like this at all. Ok shes done many of cakes, but not done anything to this level before. Im so proud of her!! I on the other hand has been reading more photography stuff and hunting for a perfect place for sunday to go take this perfect photo for my next competition. So far. The four ive entered have got me silver awards which I never in a million years thought id achieve. Once all our daily hobbies were done, we took our puppy to the field which is literally a house away. She absolutly loved it and couldnt get enough of it, and luckily for us, shes slept since shes got back. I on the other hand is in more pain than before. Because of it being soggy grass, I couldnt go in my wheelchair, so went with my crutches, but it still left me off worse, so have been in bed since. Myself and my partner are still continuing our healthy eating diet in the hope to keep loosing more weight. Our meal tonight was blinking scrummy. It was a sausage omelette with pan warmed pepper slices. Was blinking amazing, ive never trialed with so many different food and flavours before and its really getting me stuck in. Fingers crossed for weigh day on monday. In other news, last night at 8pm, I found out that my bank card had been blocked. So I had to ring the bank and was told that because ive changed my last name, I now cant access funds untill I get my new card. That or go to my local branch with photographic ID and draw out cash over the counter thing. They couldnt understand the whole no ID as ive changed my name and that has also been sent away. They also couldnt u derstand that my nearest branch is over 30 miles away and dont have enough petrol to get there and cant get petrol as cant use my card. They have also left us screwed food wise. We were meant to go shopping tomorrow after ive picked up my prescription as we have no food and my drugs run out tomoorow. We now cant do any of that. I really kicked off with the bank and they said id have the manager ring me back within the whole...11 hours later and im still waiting for that phone call. As a result, last night I sent an email to the bank destressing how much I need my money, they responded which is great, but they said, they were putting my complaint through the right team, and not actually dealing with the need of my money by tomorrow, so I replied in a very stern manner. I am awaiting their result. Dont think im going to get money by tomorrow though which really isnt helpful. Well, theres my non exciting day. TTFN XXXX