Days Like This Make Me Feel Lazy

So, last night I promised myself I will rest todays as I was just making myself beyond poorly, and thats exactly what I done, and I feel stupidly lazy with having done it, but its either rest up or land in hospital, I certainly know which sounds better. I filled my dad with reading mass loads of photography information to keep my mind active and keep me busy. My reasoning behind this is that I have started getting major flash backs again because if my severe PTSD. I figured that my best option would be to do something that would really challenge my mind rather than sitting infront of telly allowing my mind to wander. Granted it didnt help perfectly, but im pretty sure it could of been worse. My other half has been continuing her cake making ready for Saturday. I was sat out in the kitchen with her to keep glancing up to see her progress. It was lush to be able to just be us for the day. Made us bith really happy. My pops in law has also sorted my pc for me so I can properly crack down with my photography set up. Im so excited as although I am becoming more and more disabled each day, im not going to let it make me a complete vegetable. I just cant. On a random note, I keep driving my head insane. I keep thinking how lush it is going to be in a few weeks time if our test comes back positive and we know that our family is going to grow, and then I keep mentally twisting things about how rubbish a mummy im going to be because I cant run around or ride a bike and much more with any iggle piggles we may have. Am I being selfish. Am I setting myself up for failing. Will I mentally screw up our child!? I just dont know what to do. Im also pretty sure this stressing really isnt going to help. My PTSD is making life really hard again right now. I cant wait for this phase to go. For now though, im led snuggled with my lady watching 'Gravity' as it arrived in the post today. Excited!! TTFN XXXX

All Puppied Out!!

Yesterday me and the other half went out for a trip to Exeter with the parents as they were off looking at puppies for themselves.

When we got there, the lady decided to bring out her last two remaining bitch dogs and we all instantly fell in love with them both!!

Their mum is a sprocker (for those who dont know what that is, its a mixture between and cocker and a springer spaniel) and their dad...well we dont know. The mum decided she wanted to jump the wall and erm was pregnant.

We are so excited to have our new little girl with us, whos name is Dixie by the way.
She has given us so much love already, I didnt think it was humanly possible.

Our first night with her was different lets say that. We were up roughly every 3-4 hours with her either needing to take her outside for a wee or because she wanted to chew on her teething bone.

Shes only 6 weeks and is the smallest little madame ever!! Going to be so weirs this time next year as shell be about 4 times bigger.

TTFN

XXXX