Wants Life To End

Literally, after today i really cant take any more.

All weekend ive been  spiralling further and further down because of things that are going on and im getting toy far into my depression im now struggling to pull myself out.

Being at mums was good in the fact that it was just me and my beautiful girlfriend but in theory it was just putting off the inevitable.

As soon as we got home, the shit literally hit the fan.

Argument kicked off, we were called ever name under the sun and we were made to feel like utter crap

And guess what the cause of it was...yup you got it, the happiest day of our lives, our  wedding.

My family have suprisingly been very supportive and happy for us. My partners on the other hand have really really kicked off, to the point theyve now told me im no longer doing their wedding photography and my  partner is no longer their bridesmaid. All this is because they arnt coming to the "ceremony" section of our wedding.

We are both so upset.

Its our day, we dont get why we are being treates like this.

Ive now contacted the welfare team for the councel explaining the urgency to get our own house as i fear that if im kept in this situation i will try to end my life again. They are just seeing what they can do to help and then will get back to us.

In good news though, ive now completed hat number 150 so another box is complete and ready to send.

TTFN

XXXX

Why Cant One Day Be Simple!?

With an intentional early rise this morning, who knew that the day could turn out so god damn shit!! First off, we were intending on going swimming, but both my other half and her dad had to go to the doctors. My lady has been refered to someone a little more specialist to help out with a new problem that shes got (I say new, but weve been back and forth to the GP so many times over the last year, but theyve only just decided they cant control things any more). Sadly though, with her pops, I ended up having to drive him to hospital on the GPs orders. Hes had an increase in his shortness of breath over the last two days that his inhaler wasnt sorting and was getting a lot of chest pain. An update on him as of an hour ago after an xray, ecg and blood work, he may have a possible small PE. As a result, he is being kept in overnight just incase. I hope its nothing to bad, but on the other hand, maybe this could be a wake up call for my other halfs parents crappy diets and lack of exercise. But, will update you more on what is going on when we know more. I have to go pick up my mother in law who is currently still at hospital, im just hoping its pretty darn soon as im normally in bed by now. The other shit oart of today is that we had the council man come around today after he refused to put in a stair lift for me two which two medical professions told him I need and boy didnt I have yet another go at him. On a good note though, we are now getting a stair lift. On a bad note, hes only doing this for the mean time because he is basically kicking the four of us out. As aparently there are no homes in cornwall with two large double bedrooms either, me and my other half now need to venture on our own. Weve been told we have to sign up to home choice and start bidfing on properties. The council man also told us that they cant help us out anymore financially (because we told him were struggli.g to live off the parents on our income of benefits), he then also told us that the homes come unfurnished and that he also cant help us there either ( which im pissed about as ive just sold all my storage kit to which held my first flats living stuff. We are well and truly screwed. I went straight upstairs and just cried. We cant afford to live on our own, and the chance of me now getting a home that is suitable for my needs is zero to none. The council man ill just add said that if my other halfs parents got a house first, we would have to leave at the same time whether we had a home or not. So this twat is willing to make an ill and disabled person homeless. What the heck is the world come to. More stress to add to my life. I just want one day where I xan sit, chill and be my self. When do you think that may be!? TTFN XXXX