Scream And Shout And Let It All Out.

Lush little day. Well, thats how it started any how. Myself and the lady to Dixie for a walk like usual. I then had to drop my other half at the camel trail as she was meeting up with her healthy lady. To which they done more walking and then as soon as I picked her back up an hour later we went off swimming. Unfortunatly we didnt stay as long as we would have liked because a mass load of holiday makers came in and took over the place. When we got home, it was roughly time to feed Dixie. (And heres where the title comes from.) Two seconds after we put Dixies food down on the floor, my other halfs mum walks in from upstairs, demands for us to pick up Dixies food because her dog was coming in. We asked her to wait a few minutes to give Dixie time to actually eat, but no she storms in, picks it up and puts it on the table leaving Dixie with nothing. I wouldnt mind but we warm Dixies meat up as she prefers it like that and each time its being taken away from her, it then goes warm and then she eats nothing. The next thing to which not only pissed me off but upset me is that I had the two youngest rabbits in the run as we didnt manage to get them in there yesterday.Dixie was casually outside laying in the sun, not having a care in the world about the rabbits. My other half mum comes down stairs again and I told her, ease dont let Lottie out right now as Dixie is out there and the rabbits are still in the run. So what does she go and do. Let Lottie out and she strolls back in. Immediatly I can hear that they were up to no good, and she must of to as she goes back out side and is shouting at her dog to get off the run. Next thing I know, shes ran indoors screaming at me saying the rabbits have got out the run. (Same scenario as yesterday). We manage to get the dogs back inside and then she stands over me whilst watching me struggle with two rabbits and the run and says to me "how are they managing to get out all of a. Sudden?!". Admittedly my response was sharp and it went something like "because your dog keeps jumping on the run, pulling it around (to which there are now small holes in the canvas) and they have ripped up the pegs leaving a massive hole for them to hop in and out. Next time, one dog out her at a time and we will have to watch them". After sorting them out, I went back in and got a little upset, because if it was Spice who I call my grampher rabbit, he would have been dead. Hes 7 years old so is bloody old for a rabbit and we are actually suprised hes still going. But the stress of a dog jumping on him would literally give him a heart attack. As a rest, im not blinking scared to let him in the run which is unfair. Tonight because I was so stressed and upset, I asked my other half if we could take Dixie fir her second walk early and then go upstairs to bed and watch a film. To which she said yes and thats where I am now...though the film has finished and I am nowing doing my bed time nebulisers and physio. The film we watch by the way was "inhabited". Ive had it for years but my lovely lady has never seen it...she kept jumping and cuddling into me as she was so scared ha. Its only a 12 I think as well. Bless her. Well, its been another long day for me, and im ready for the planned PJ weekend so ill chat to you all tomorrow. TTFN XXXX

Todays Journey

A nice early start again for me today...thanks to Dixie, but no harm done, just meant we could walk around the feild twice. Firstly though, its weigh day and im pleased to say im back on track with a 1lb and 3/4 weight loss. Ok, its not a lot, but its still a loss and im pleased as punch with it. I had to drop my lovely lady off at volunteering for 12. When I got home, a had a quick bit off dinner with Dixe and then headed up to our bedroom. My other half noticed yesterday that Dolly our goldfish has come down with white spot so I had the challenge of isolating her from the big tank where her and Dot live. I then had to scrub the big tank and do a water change to make sure we caught it in time before it spreaded to far. Heres a picture of the finished piece ha

Following the fish tank sorting I decided to get two of my glass cabinates on the wall that holds my china ornament shoes in. I wanted to surprise my lovely lady for when she got home...and off course I did. I then started finishing off the uploading off photos to CD ready to give our friend tomorrow following the naming ceremony. I also went online to Asda to get 11 photos printed off to add to my portfolio. Hopefully ill be receiving them by the end off the week. After all this was done, I decided to sneakily go into next doors hedge and snip 12 of their daffodils and I put them in a jar of water for a little treat for my girlfriend. Thankfully with living in the countryside, there are so many daffodils I dont think theyll ever notice. This evening I done some physio on the trampet to try and get my legs working that bit more, and then we set off for the feild again with the pup. I have to say, she really is catching on super well with her call back. Really pleased with her. I havnt spoke to my nand since before I had the flu, which as you know was a long time ago now so I felt mega bad. I am a little worried about her though, as she came down with a virus the same week I had the flu, and shes just getting poorlier and poorlier. She has an immune deficiency illness called shrogrones (ive spelt that how I say it just to warn you) so each time theres a cold going around, like me itll hit her hard. Although it was fantastic talking to ger, it never stops me worrying, and to make it even harder for me, she lives in Manchester so I cant pop round and make her a cup of tea. Well, fingers crossed all starts picking up soon, but for now, I must get back to the tv, Revenge is on!! TTFN XXXX

Here, There and Everywhere!!

Life has been a little hectic over the past few weeks with having different hospital appointments and travelling up and down the country. Hospital appointments have consisted of going to Plymouth hospital to have over an hours worth of lung function tests so that they can get a good idea of how my lungs dont work, and then I am seeing the new Consultant in January at some point so that should be interesting. I have also have a fracture clinic appointment following my fall a few weeks ago and breaking my wrist. The consultant there isnt to happy with my xray results so has requested that I have a CT scan which is in just over a weeks time. so thats slightly annoying that this has happened. I have also had my second appointment with the other hip doctor who was a little bit annoying actually as he didnt really have a clue and is referring me to yet another doctor and has suggested that I have the steroid injections again in my hip (which didnt work the first time) and then if that doesnt work they will then look at what else can be done before the route of a hip replacement. I have also been back up to see mum recently as it was her birthday and well, it was slightly awkward to say the least and I came away a little upset. firstly, she opened the present that we gave her whilst I was in the toilet and then just put it on the side and didnt even say thanks, where as with my sisters she opened it all whilst everyone was there and said a massive thank you. secondly, she didnt even really speak to my other half which is really starting to hack me off as it has been well over a year now and she still cant seem to come to terms with things and accept who I am engaged to. Thirdly, I have found out that my sister has been going around mums and having little drinking sessions with her and that they have been going out shopping and generally having a good time, Im gutted with this as me and mum never really done anything like this and now that I have moved away she seems to be getting on really well with my sister. And finally, my mum in front of everyone asked my sister if she wanted to come around for christmas day and completely ignored me, so as a result I have decided that Im not going to see any of my family at christmas because I dont feel like they want me to see them, I no longer feel accepted by them and that they want me to be in their lives let alone my partner as well. On happy notes, myself and my partner have officially been together for just over a year now and it is exciting. We decided to treat ourselves, and spend two nights away in Newquay. Whilst away we went to the cinema and seen Gravity which is a pretty amazing film, we also went to the seal sanctuary which although was cold, was really amazing to see all the different seals and also the poorly ones in the hospital who are being really well looked after. We also went and had a MASSIVE chinese which was lush, but we ate far to much. My other half also introduced me to the hunger games which is a great film, very well put together!! so we had a busy couple of days, just us enjoying each others company. My other half also had her 20th birthday which was great. She was ultimatly spoiled by both her parents and myself with lots of different gifts to keep her busy some of which included pyrography (which shes done one already and it looks amazing, ive never seen it before and I really like how its turned out!!) and she also got an air brushing machine to be able to decorate her cakes with. We also went out for a meal, both of us and her parents which was great as weve never actually done that before so it was a nice treat for us all. On sad news though, Ive had yet another assessment with the community physio team and they have now decided that Im going to have to have a wheelchair when out in the community as my muscles have gotten far to weak and im having to many falls which is compromising my safety. I am a little gutted by this but I guess it had to come at some point hey. My photography is coming along great, I recently entered a photo into a competition and im awaiting the results so ill let you all know when that happens. These photos were taken with the help of my lovely lady dressing up in a stunning dress and having some nice make up on. One of our friends have also asked me to take photos of her and her baby in a few weeks time also so although im a little nervous about it, im also excited as itll be my first official shoot with people and not of still life. So, thats my life for now. TTFN XXXX

Life Recent Events

Thankfully life is doing fantastically at my other halfs in Cornwall and her family are fantastic, they are so supportive and just want to help me with everything. Im not used to all this care and help.

Ive had an appointment at my old local hospital and shes pleased with how things are going, and she said she will contact Plymouth hospital to see if they will take on my care as she knows the consultant there and aparently he manages difficult asthma also. Though this doesnt mean that Im going to stop going to Birmingham as they have been amazing.

Talking of Birmingham, I have also been to see them. Physio saw me first and done a few tests on me and confirmed that I dont have dyafunctional breathing nor do I have hyperventilation syndrome so I am absolutly over the moon with that. She also taught me a few more gunk moving chest physio moves which is super helpful. She also said that if this doesnt work by the time she rings me in a few weeks, she will see about getting me a device to help increase my lung function and shift a bit more gunk!!

Dr M is please that I have managed to stay on 10mg of pred, though when I asked if I could reduce it more or come off it altogether he said no, so thats a bit of a downer. He also says that im not allowed to reduce any of my other maintenance meds either. I guess the only good way of looking at this positivly is that I dont need any more meds currently. He wants to see me again in 3 months time to keep a close eye on me.

So life has been full of hospital appointments and driving up and down the country.

Im still waiting for an "urgent" mri scan at the request of my hip consultant to see how advanced my avascular necrosis is...who knows how long thatll be!!

Im travelling back to Cornwall tomorrow as I have an appointment at my new GP surgery to fill them in about me.

I am so shatterdd though, I tried driving today after going to Birmingham today and my legs just didnt want to work, theu were shaking all over the place, I really do hate the way things have ended up!!

Well thats my bit of excitement for the last week!!

TTFN

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Doesn't Time Fly By?!

I was just looking at the latest blog I posted to make sure I didnt repeat anything and wow it has been a long time since I last had a ramble at you all!!

So, since we last chatted (theoretically...) I have:

Been doing my usual crap of sitting on me rear trying to breathe, I have also been going back and forth to physio to help with my crazy muscle weakness, which I have to say is going well, but it is really hurting and causing me to be mega exhausted muscle wise for the rest of the week!!

On a good note though, I have been very busy visiting people and doing stuff as I fear that I have been out of hospital a little while now so I pretty sure I'm going to splat soon and I could do it rather well!!

So, last weekend I went down and picked out the lovely other half form work and met a few everyone, that she works with, which I have to say was a little bit nervy on the old body as there was about 15 of them, but I done it so there one section of friends complete lol.
Saturday night, we sat and watched a few horror films which I actually crapped myself with [I prefer a good old disney film if im honest lol]
Sunday morning we made pancakes and munched on them in bed which was amazing, and when we eventually got up, we went to the Eden project which looked stunning all christmassy with all the lights on. I also managed to get us both on the temporary ice skating rink that was there, but flipping heck my lungs and muscles didnt half play me up for it!! On the evening we went out for a meal and had the fatest munch ever, we rolled into bed...literally haha
Fianlly Monday...we were aiming to go to port isaac as I wanted to go to the home of Doc Martin, but when I pulled up in the car park, it was raining, the sea was in and I really didnt want to get cold and wet, so we went to the next little town over and got some portable lunch and found another little town called rock where we sat in the car, munched at could watch the sea in the warm!! In true style, I managed to get us lost on the way back though which I have to say was rather funny!! I finally left Cornwall at 2230 and got home around 1240 *shatter.com*

0600...yup you read right, that crazy time in the morning, I was awake as mum had a hospital appointment that I promised I would run her too...she said we had to leave by 7!! So there I am, up readed, medicated and rearing to go...kind of. Then mum rocks into my room and says "whoops I got the time wrong,we could have had an extra hour in bed"....you what, thanks mum!! Ah well, atleast we wasnt rushing around at last minute lol!!

We finally get back just in time for me to go to physio, once that was finished, I had a quick power nap, as then was off to Bristol to see my dad briefly, and then off to the Besties house for the night.

0500 (i swear these times are getting earlier) me and the bestie are awake as...we are off to London!! Our initial intentions was to be getting a new piercing, but after getting there and wondering around for anhour and a half and not being bale to find the shop I got pissed off and refused to keep looking. We ended up going to harrods to buy coffee, M&M world to buy absolutly anything...to which I did, but it was great, who knew you could spend so much time in just one shop...and then, we went to TGI fridays for a munch, followed by the rainforest shop before making our way home. Oh that was after we had to wait for our stupidly delayed coach argh!! Lets say, we slept the whole way home haha.
Thursday morning we were up by about 0930 (thankfully a day with a normal hour) and within an hour I was on my way home-ish. Via a flower shop and then via nan and grandads graves to re make their new homes look remotely good!!

Well, I have to say, I think that that has been my fun filled few days/weeks!! busy hey!! Im pretty sure I will keep you all posted on the next few lot of adventures!!

TTFN

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What A Blinking Day Hey!!

When I woke up this morning, I was in a good mood, I was happy, cheery and ready for the day a head...and then I went down stairs, bad move I say!!

My now ex stepdad was sat in the lounge with mum, and as he was getting ready to sod off to work, he was ranting away...about me!!

He told my mum how its my fault he is in debt, because he has had to spend out extra money on food and bills etc and im not paying him anything. (may I add here that I still get no finacial help, Im still not allowed to work, and when I do have a bit of money, I get my own bit of food and I always give mum any spare bit of cash I have) so yes this majorly upset me as hes not my dad, I have a perfectly good dad but u fortunatly he lives 50miles away from me and works all hours so it wasnt suitable for me to move in with him!!
Once he had said this, he then blames the above situation on not being able to pay mum back!!
He also then went on to say he is spending much needed cash on hospital car parks...for one im sorry I have to go to so many clinics and my asthma is so uncontrolled at the minute, and secondly, he has never once visited me whilst I have been an inpatient so I dont have a clue what he is yabbing about!!

Todays second horrid moment was when I got to physio, they discharged me from the knee clinic from the injury I sustained, but have admitted me to the muscle weakness section. my physiotherapist has express large concerns about my lack of muscle mass. He has said that the steroids are having a huge effect on them and said my muscles are basically none existant!! I now have to go weekly for the next six weeks. He didnt even want me to wait till my appointment in Birmingham on Wednesday. Though he also mentioned that the physio may not actually do much whilst im still on the steroids, if anything what may happen is the wasting will just slow down a little. My response to that-its better than nothing being done at all!!

The third and final cruddy moment for today is that when I get back from physio, the prat I mentioned above decided to say to me "so you actual found your muscles now and stop being lazy". This really hurt me, as I havnt chosen to be like this, yes it has made me whole I am today but if i had healthy lungs and could be like any other 21 year old, I would certainly choose that path!!

 Just because him and my mum have split, does it really give him the right to treat me this way, talk to me like he does and actually make me feel rubbish!?  because in my eyes, no one should make anyone feel like that!!

On a good note, Birmingham on Wednesday, with a trip around the German market!! Quality time with the mother!!

TTFN

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